Moms, have you literally forgotten everything that happened with your first born child, now that you have multiple? Because I promise you, I remember almost nothing. First steps, I know they happened the day before his first birthday. I remember he was 25 months old when he was completely potty trained (day-time that is). I remember he was the easiest babe to break of the binky. And I'm fairly certain he was the most perfect sleeper, ever.
But that can't be 100% accurate. Because I also remember texting my sweet friend and soul sister Jerrica with a million sleep and nap questions; she too, was a "Babywise Mom." That means we scheduled our kiddos and had a pretty good grip on when they would sleep and when they wouldn't. I know that he napped like an angel (babysitters, DID HE?!?!) up until just recently, and he just turned FIVE.
But if you were really asking me to remember all these details....well, I can't! I'm currently in this stage of nap regressions with our dear sweet daughter. She turns four in two very short months, and she is a monkey see monkey do kinda gal. (Lord, help.) She knows that her big brother doesn't nap daily anymore, and constantly asks, "Well, is Pierson going to play quietly in his room or will he be resting in BED?????" Telling her not to worry about her brother and to just worry about herself, well, that doesn't fly.
I've always wanted to be the sweet and soften spoken mom. The one who never yells or who doesn't fly off the handle. The mom who gently lulls her anti-napping toddler to sleep. Or who is extremely patient with said toddler when she doesn't even lay down to TRY to sleep. But guys, I fail at this *MISERABLY.* There's like: strike one, strike two, strike three, strike ZERO, NOW I'M SCREAMING, and no, I haven't given too many chances because I'm totally exaggerating here to NOT make myself seem like a total lunatic. And now I'm sitting over here all like, "HOW is she ever going to nap in preschool?? They SAID that ALL the kids lie on their mats and just sleep. But there is no way in the h-e-double-hockey-sticks that this will happen?!?!?!" First of all, Reese turns four a month after she'll start preschool, which means she will be four in the three's room. Surely there'll be other four year olds present who are in the same situation as her? But to say I'm a little worried and stressed over this thought is kinda an understatement.
My husband likes to reassure me (by not reassuring me) that it just won't be my problem. She'll be in preschool, not ME, and there is really absolutely nothing that I can do.
I am betting there will be like 300 of you who tell me that your child has never napped. So all I'm going to say here is that I am SO SORRY. I really wouldn't mind the no nap thing, IF I wasn't starting back to work in three weeks, where she'll be in brand new circumstances and settings. Her grandmother will watch her two days in our home, and I'm also not looking forward to how Reese is going to test those buttons on those days, either. Maybe those will just HAVE to be her 'no napping' days? But how do you do that.........?
Has anyone else ever admitted that raising toddlers is a crapshoot? Who am I kidding, it's a shit shoot. (Sorry, Mom!) It's just a total mess where there are days you have no idea what you're doing, WHY you're having these battles, where you haven't looked in a mirror all day, and you are drinking coffee at two-thirty in the afternoon INSTEAD of lunch, because you just want to sit and BE. I sound like I'm complaining big time don't I? But did you know on the other side of this fence that I am sitting, there is this woman who is about to cry big giant puddles of tears because BOTH of her children are starting school in three weeks??
I looked at my five year in the car today in my rearview mirror and saw him just sitting all properly in his booster seat, looking out the window with his insanely long legs dangling off the seat. And in that moment, I got all choked up. This KID, my first born, is FIVE. And my daughter?? The one who is currently undressing herself in bed and getting really frustrated that she can't put the shirt back on correctly (yes, daughter, I can SEE YOU)--well, she's my BABY. I've always called her my baby baby, and here we are, approaching her FOURTH birthday.
A couple realizations:
-I'm getting old
-and motherhood is a constant lesson, teaching me ALL the things about selflessness, SELFISHness, grace, laughter, sorrow, and love.
The case of the no naps have officially arrived. But I suppose this too, shall pass.
*Dear daughter, my baby baby, who is NOW currently upstairs throwing books off your bed...I love you more than there are words. Thank YOU for still choosing to love ME, even when dear old mom sometimes loses it.*