Normalizing Therapy and Being Aware of Our Kids' Struggles

My first born. The one who made me Mama. This little boy has grown so fast and as cliché as it always feels to say it, time has flown by…this kiddo heads to FOURTH grade in August and I just shake my head in amazement and bewilderment that this can be possible.

He is really the most empathetic, kindest, respectful, obedient, and SWEETEST child. You know how you go through stages with each kid (if you have more than one) and it seems at one time or the other, one is the ‘easier’ kid? As soon as there seems to be a good rhythm, the other kiddo slips or is going through a challenge. ‘Buttons are never on at the same time,’ my mom worded perfectly!

Pierson’s typically the easier one, as in, doesn’t give us a run for our money with being strong willed and argumentative (ahem…) and maybe that’s a first born thing? I have no idea, I am the youngest and my daughter absolutely gets those genes from me I think. But lately, it hasn’t even been attitude or behaviors that are changing and making us puzzled as parents…it’s the fact that he’s struggled more emotionally than we’ve been able to grasp recently. The past couple of months he has been anxious, and sad. He genuinely seems to struggle with being away from us. At times his smile and melodic laugh seem so distant. We’ve always thought Pierson’s laugh was the absolute best, and some days its just missing.

This summer we have sought out a therapist and praise the Lord she could meet with him right away. It seems that he is going through some severe separation anxiety (especially from his dad) and before Asa and I take a big trip out West in a few weeks, we wanted to try to get Pierson some extra support. He’s gone to school with his dad since he was in kindergarten; riding to and from, and often Asa has even worked IN his classrooms servicing other kiddos. His dad’s always, well, been there! Sure that’s a great thing!! Who would complain about that when looking back on their kids’ growing up years?! But right now, it’s pretty tough! The pandemic did NOT help and we really didn’t know the aftermath affects it would have on our children. (Reese seems to be okay?? But you never know!) We were home together ALL the time. All day every day. Except the more we’ve thought about it, I would come and go WAY more than Asa would and does.

I have my horses thirty minutes away—so almost every day I would spend HOURS at the barn. Our kids have always been used to me having side businesses and photo sessions that take me away from the house. I tend to be more of the busy bee, and Pierson has gotten so used to Asa, ALWAYS being there. On our recent trip to Gulfport, Asa went back to the hotel room to grab some drinks and snacks (mind you, RIGHT across from the beach where we were playing), and Pierson asked me probably twenty times when his dad would be back, why his dad hadn’t came back yet, and could he text him. Asa was gone all of 15 minutes, so this wasn’t a LONG period of time. There is so much more I could write and share, but I think I will just say it’s obvious Pierson will hopefully benefit from talking with more of a professional. I plan to share more later and update the situation—maybe I will even offer more of the back story behind this. For now though, we’d love your prayers!

He has been so wonderful about it and about meeting with her. Reese has asked questions sometimes about therapy and ‘what it is,’ and we are always completely open and transparent with each of them; I say WE ALL need therapy! And that it’s a good friend for Pierson to talk to who can help him walk through his thoughts and any problems or heavy emotions he’s experiencing.

I hope and pray that he will grow through this. I know he WILL. And I also hope that I can be a patient, empathetic, and good mom through it all.

And friends, please never be scared of the T word…THERAPY. Honest to God I think every human being would benefit from having a professional therapist or counselor to talk to. We ALL have something to work through at some point in our lives and sometimes it’s just nice to have someone other than a spouse or family member to talk through our STUFF with. If you need recommendations in the Louisville area I’d love to try to help you find someone, and if you ever have questions about kids and mental health, I’d love to talk with you too. I work in a children’s’ psychiatric hospital full time and while I am NOT a professional counselor or licensed therapist, I know a fair share about loving kiddos in their struggles.

Motherhood and Sick Days

Most days I don’t think about my role, being Mom just seems normal. But there are a couple instances when I have felt like my heart is walking outside of my body and one of the times was when I went on vacation for the first time without my kids, and Asa and I were simply ALONE. Just the two of us. Without our kids. The first day I remember being somewhat giddy and excited and READY for several days with JUST my husband. And then I woke the next morning and my heart had disappeared. GONE. I was anxious and confused and overwhelmed and wondering constantly IF my kids were okay. Would the sitters remember to do this or that or what to sing them or how to comfort them? My heart was outside of my chest as I walked around the city and the beach, and as people passed us by—”They don’t know that I’m a Mom,” I thought.

To some of you, that may sound crazy ;) But to many of you, you’re like, “I get it.”

Once you’re Mom, you’re MOM. And while often you may not think about it because you’re doing the day in and day out and the chores and routine…but do you KNOW how important this role IS?

Enter how I have recently began to feel on sick days. Not my sick days, where I’m feeling like crap and missing MY mom—but the days where fevers are burning my sweet kiddos bodies, their heads are throbbing with headaches, their legs are weak with fatigue, they’re cranky and emotional and exhausted. These days. My heart starts walking outside of my chest and it grasps at their six and seven year old selves. My role as MOM explodes with such uniqueness. I think it was when our kids turned four and five and the baby and toddler days just felt so far behind me; that was when it hit me like a ton of bricks that these days are FLEETING. When they’re sick, who do they want?

Mom.

Dads and husbands, please don’t take offense at this post. Lord knows my kids ADORE their Dad and he is quite literally the BEST Dad there is. Our kids will sit on his lap and rock with him and cuddle, but then it’s time for Mom. The phrase used to be, “Mommy put me down,” when they couldn’t construct great sentences. Now they can actually say, “I love you, Dad. I want Mommy…”

There’s something about being needed isn’t there? Maybe that’s mostly what it is... Having tiny souls want you and need you and love you with all of their being. I kind of laughed as I wrote this out, it sounds so SELFISH. But this blog is really for me to remember how I feel. When our kids are sick, the Mom gene inside of me goes full fledge into overdrive and I’m there for it all. When they wake crying because their fever spikes, my feet fly up the stairs. I hum and sing and stroke their foreheads. I bring fresh cups of ice water and fill their diffusers with all the right blends to make their rooms cozy and clean. There’s something about being MOM on their sick days, that is so fulfilling; that is so valuable. They won’t always need me the way that their little selves do. And I finally understand how my own mom must feel with her daughter living six hours away. Probably like a piece or two of HER heart is outside of her chest… (I wonder if she knows how I FEEL when I am sick?!) When a fever hits me, guess who is the first for me to text and complain to? Yup…my mom!

Also don’t get me wrong—I don’t LIKE when our kids are sick. Heavens, no. I know that there are sicknesses FAR WORSE and more severe than the colds and viruses ours come down with; all I really mean, is that sometimes it is mundane to be Mom, when really there is nothing mundane about it. When they were newborns and then toddlers and were needing me on sick days, it was so different than it is now. It consisted of a lot more HOLDING and rocking and nursing and cuddling. They keep getting older; their legs keep getting longer and more difficult to fit on my lap…they keep becoming more independent.

But they keep needing me. And I pray to God that I NEVER take that for granted.

These thoughts inspired me to create a FREEBIE for YOU. Sign up below to grab my new download, ‘Wellness Support for You & Your Littles.’ Save it, print it, share it, use it. And if you have any questions, always email me! I love hearing from my readers and I am so thankful for ALL of you.

Essential Oils: How to Grab Your Starter Kit

Hi, Friends!! I’m so happy you are here and are interested in learning more about Essential Oils! This post will help you step by step, so leave this tab open and get started!

Sign up as a Member – this does not mean you have to sell oils ever, it just means you are getting a starter kit & will therefore get 24% off retail prices!

ORDER HERE  – and make sure the number 20381963 appears in both the “Enroller” and “Sponsor ID” fields. Sign up as a MEMBER to get the 24% off! (See below for FAQ). Reminder you do not have to sell oils ever! 

Next you can choose to set up your Essential Rewards monthly auto ship (by picking out a few other items like the Thieves cleaner, Grapefruit, Tangerine, or White Angelica essential oils) to try out next month! We highly recommend this optional program as a way to order those things you wish to have outside the kit and begin to cut toxins from your home with YL cleaning products & makeup.

When you sign up as a member buying a starter kit you are not only joining us, you get to join a much larger community as well! We have private wellness groups on Facebook that are designed to help YOU get acquainted with your oils and learn all the fun and different ways to use them. In these groups you can draw on the experience and knowledge of thousands of other oils users. Ask questions and find endless DIY’s, recipes and so much more!

If you are interested in selling the oils and sharing about the company I am passionate about helping women earn income to help support their families! We have monthly business bootcamps & provide mentorship to everyone who joins our community!

FAQ
What can you use oils for? For just about everything!! Whether you are looking for oils to help you sleep, for natural immune system support, for energy, focus, or relaxation, for your kids, or for natural alternatives to cleaning products – the list is endless – there is an oil for that!! And you will learn along the way, there aren’t hard set rules, but part of joining our oils team is that you get access to the most amazing resources & our private Facebook community.

Why Young Living? YL has an unmatched Seed to Seal process to guarantee the purity & potency of every oil. Each batch of oils is rigorously tested in house for therapeutic viability & they are so confident in their products that you can actually visit the farms & participate in the harvest/distillation process.

How can you use oils? You can diffuse them (you get a diffuser in your starter kit!) which is great for making your house smell great, helping your babies or kids relax at night for bed, getting rid of unwanted odors in the house & more. Or you can apply oils topically (some require a carrier oil like coconut oil; you’ll learn all about that later!). You can make rollerball combos, creams, sprays, and just about anything!!

How will I learn how to use my kit? You’ll get plenty of reading material with your kit, but as mentioned above, you’ll also get access to our exclusive Facebook community full of amazing resources, including things like how to use each oil in your kit, which oils to avoid around kids or while pregnant/nursing, and all of the dilution ratios for individual oils. We have classes, books, live Facebook hangouts & search functionality that will help you navigate through any questions you might have.

What should I get? A premium starter kit, which comes with 12 of the most commonly used oils + your diffuser (I recommend the Desert Mist, it has a flicker setting to give you all of the candle feelings!), two NingXia Red samples, a Thieves Cleaner sample, a Thieves Hand Purifier, two Roller Fitments, the most gorgeous guide to ALL things oils & the wholesale membership that you only buy once. This is the best value & provides you with everything you need to get started. You’ll get over $400 worth of product for only $165.

Do you have to order more oils monthly or sell them? Nope! Your kit can be a one time purchase, but along with it comes a wholesale membership, which just means that should you decide to purchase oils in the future, you would get a 24% discount! You will also get a personal referral link should you ever decide that you want to share them, but neither is required.

If you still have questions or just want to chat more about oils, shoot me an email here.

***Any suggestions made on this blog are very specific to Young Living essential oils and should not be used with oils from another source. Statements made on this website about Young Living Essential Oils have not been evaluated by the FDA. These products and information are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Anyone suffering from disease or injury should consult with a physician. If you are currently on medication, please do not stop.