'I'm sorry, what?!' is probably what you're thinking after reading my title. And I don't blame you. But if anyone wants to know what the current season looks like in the Glass household, it can literally be summed up by those six words.
When you are a parent and you have begun potty training, I promise you there will be an orchestra of applause when your Little One decides to finally GO on the toilet. Pee is good and great but poop, that's a whole other story. Especially for my son, who was honest to God terrified to go #2 on the toilet for almost an entire YEAR after he was regularly using it for pee, (and he started doing that as soon as he turned two); any time he mustered up the courage, we would run in to the bathroom and cheer, "Yay!! Look at your poop! You did SO good, Buddy!!" or something along those lines.
It wasn't much different for our daughter, though pooping for her was never even close as big of a deal for her. We still applauded and cheered her on and encouraged her to keep using the potty because she was such a big girl. Mommy and Daddy were SO proud, and we're still super ecstatic when after nap or bed there is no nasty brown stuff in their diapers! Poop--it's a BIG DEAL! And it'll be a GOOD day here when we can officially kiss diapers goodbye.
So this summer, ya'll know there's been a ton of sickness here. There's been lots of cleaning, organizing, de-cluttering, disinfecting, and apparently, pooping. A few weeks ago my husband and I laughed out loud after our almost 3-year old daughter used the bathroom. She had indeed gone #2 and BOTH kids, Lord help us, will yell, "I POOOOOPED!" from the potty because they obviously still need help wiping. (LOL Guys, parenthood, it's SO glorious!) I was the closest and I exclaimed something like, "Wow, Reese! That's a big one! Good JOB!" and she screamed at the top of her lungs, "DAD! DAAAD! COME LOOK AT MY POOP!"
"When did our life come to this?!" he joked after going to admire his daughter's bowel movement. "Mommy, come look at my poop, that is SERIOUSLY what this summer has consisted of!" I laughed.
And then we were cleaning the living room. He moved the couch so I could vacuum behind it. "Hold on a sec," he said. "There's something brown and kind of gunky there we need to clean up." I went to get paper towels. "It's probably chocolate," he said. "Or gosh! I HOPE it's chocolate?!?" ONLY in a house of toddlers, could this be ones' life. Chocolate? Or poop? Only one way to find out.
Lord have mercy. What does your average day look like with young ones? I mean seriously, the STUFF we hear ourselves say that you just cannot even fathom until you are wearing those shoes!!
-Don't bite your brother's butt.
-Stop threatening to hit your daddy in the penis.
-No, you may not pee in the bathtub.
-Do NOT fart on me!
-Do not put your head in the toilet EVER again. (my recent favorite)
I mean, there's probably a hundred different Pinterest boards that all consist of the funny things kids say, but it's so true. In all honesty, wiping butts is NOT glorious. Cleaning up vomit is every parents nightmare, teaching your son how to aim IN to the toilet to pee is a chore, explaining to your daughter why she CANNOT and SHOULD NOT pee OUTSIDE all the time is just absolutely not something you ever think of when you're in the beginning stages of, "Aww won't it be fun to start a family someday? A mini you, a little me, all mixed into one? It'll be SO cute and so fun." No. Not. at. ALL. But if you're a parent than you are right here with me in saying I really can't think of a great blessing than being Mom.
Sure, it'll be a good day when they learn how to wipe their own butts. And if I know my family, we will forever be comparing poop sizes... but good Lord how deep they love and how hard they make us laugh! Leave a comment below with something funny your child has said or even something YOU said as a kid that your parents still tease you about.
"Dad, did they call you Dad when you were a kid?" -Sean [my big brother]