Mommy, Come Look at My Poop

'I'm sorry, what?!' is probably what you're thinking after reading my title. And I don't blame you. But if anyone wants to know what the current season looks like in the Glass household, it can literally be summed up by those six words. 

When you are a parent and you have begun potty training, I promise you there will be an orchestra of applause when your Little One decides to finally GO on the toilet. Pee is good and great but poop, that's a whole other story. Especially for my son, who was honest to God terrified to go #2 on the toilet for almost an entire YEAR after he was regularly using it for pee, (and he started doing that as soon as he turned two); any time he mustered up the courage, we would run in to the bathroom and cheer, "Yay!! Look at your poop! You did SO good, Buddy!!" or something along those lines. 

It wasn't much different for our daughter, though pooping for her was never even close as big of a deal for her. We still applauded and cheered her on and encouraged her to keep using the potty because she was such a big girl. Mommy and Daddy were SO proud, and we're still super ecstatic when after nap or bed there is no nasty brown stuff in their diapers! Poop--it's a BIG DEAL! And it'll be a GOOD day here when we can officially kiss diapers goodbye. 

So this summer, ya'll know there's been a ton of sickness here. There's been lots of cleaning, organizing, de-cluttering, disinfecting, and apparently, pooping. A few weeks ago my husband and I laughed out loud after our almost 3-year old daughter used the bathroom. She had indeed gone #2 and BOTH kids, Lord help us, will yell, "I POOOOOPED!" from the potty because they obviously still need help wiping. (LOL Guys, parenthood, it's SO glorious!) I was the closest and I exclaimed something like, "Wow, Reese! That's a big one! Good JOB!" and she screamed at the top of her lungs, "DAD! DAAAD! COME LOOK AT MY POOP!" 

"When did our life come to this?!" he joked after going to admire his daughter's bowel movement. "Mommy, come look at my poop, that is SERIOUSLY what this summer has consisted of!" I laughed. 

And then we were cleaning the living room. He moved the couch so I could vacuum behind it. "Hold on a sec," he said. "There's something brown and kind of gunky there we need to clean up." I went to get paper towels. "It's probably chocolate," he said. "Or gosh! I HOPE it's chocolate?!?" ONLY in a house of toddlers, could this be ones' life. Chocolate? Or poop? Only one way to find out. 

Lord have mercy. What does your average day look like with young ones? I mean seriously, the STUFF we hear ourselves say that you just cannot even fathom until you are wearing those shoes!!

For instance: 

-Don't bite your brother's butt. 
-Stop threatening to hit your daddy in the penis.
-No, you may not pee in the bathtub. 
-Do NOT fart on me! 
-Do not put your head in the toilet EVER again. (my recent favorite)

I mean, there's probably a hundred different Pinterest boards that all consist of the funny things kids say, but it's so true. In all honesty, wiping butts is NOT glorious. Cleaning up vomit is every parents nightmare, teaching your son how to aim IN to the toilet to pee is a chore, explaining to your daughter why she CANNOT and SHOULD NOT pee OUTSIDE all the time is just absolutely not something you ever think of when you're in the beginning stages of, "Aww won't it be fun to start a family someday? A mini you, a little me, all mixed into one? It'll be SO cute and so fun." No. Not. at. ALL. But if you're a parent than you are right here with me in saying I really can't think of a great blessing than being Mom. 

Sure, it'll be a good day when they learn how to wipe their own butts. And if I know my family, we will forever be comparing poop sizes... but good Lord how deep they love and how hard they make us laugh! Leave a comment below with something funny your child has said or even something YOU said as a kid that your parents still tease you about. 

"Dad, did they call you Dad when you were a kid?" -Sean [my big brother] 
 

Backwards Compliments and What NOT to Say

Photo by: Aubrey Renee

You are gorgeous, for being forty! 
She looks SO good, for having had kids! 
For not getting much sleep, you look pretty good! 
You look really great, for being pregnant.

Compliments. They're fun and we all love getting them, right? They make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside, they light up our day and we remember them when we're in a slump. But what happens when a compliment sounds more like an insult? When you are told something that was potentially supposed to flatter you, but that leaves you stewing instead?

Recently I got a message from a sweet friend venting about a backwards compliment she had been given. She wanted to know if she was reading too much in to what was said. I thought about what that person had told her and ultimately decided, no... she wasn't internally overreacting and I can see 100% why instead of being flattered, she was offended. There was a time that I appreciated weird compliments, such as, "You look so young but you'll appreciate that when you're older!" or "For being so young, you act so mature." Now here I am, two kids later, approaching thirty, and these backwards compliments just irk me.

Having kids doesn't ruin a woman. It changes us, sure. But not ruin. Women after kids are allowed to wear the skin they have however they choose. I didn't choose to have Postpartum Thyroiditis which kicked my butt weight wise, and I didn't choose the loose skin now present on my belly. But I can choose to work my butt off, aim for realistic goals and see what happens (maybe I'll get killer abs someday and maybe I won't?) So do I look good [for having had kids] or do I just look good, period? I'm not even asking literally here, Lord knows I don't really want your opinion about my appearance via the Internet.

So the point is, I have two kids. My friend who contacted me, she has two kids too! She has always been fit and athletic, she's gorgeous, and she's a kickass woman, period. So does she look beautiful [for having had two kids?] Or is she just gorgeous, period? My vote is the latter. And the same with other crazy weird compliments too. My current least favorite is this one: 'Wow, she looks awesome for being forty!'

Do you know what this says to me? This says that forty is old. And oh my GOSH, forty is NOT OLD. Congratulations though, you have now made me terrified to TURN forty. Because is forty my end-point? Do women stop being attractive and gorgeous, when we turn a certain number? And to who? Fifteen-year old girls who think forty is ancient? To thirty-year old males who don't check out women under twenty-five?

What if I told you, "You are so smart [for your age!"] or "You are so much fun [for being a DAD!"] Wouldn't that be weird?!

Well, so are the other stereotypes. Because the world likes to categorize us by our labels: moms, dads, young, old, fit, not fit, skinny, fat, tall, short...And guess what? I'm guilty of it too. My grandma lived to be 100-years old (seriously!!) and I'm sure at one point or another, I categorized her in the, "doing so well [for her age]" bracket. Sometimes it just slips. It's not on purpose. You're not TRYING to be a total B with your compliment to your friend, butttttt it still feels like a dig. If you don't have kids and you don't want kids, awesome! And for us moms who have one or two or ten children, we don't want to be told that we look good FOR having had the kids we did; just like you don't want to look good for [fill in the blank--never working out? Working out a lot? For being smart? Or short? Or tall?]

Guys, can we break the stereotypes? Can we make our goal to create positivity and spread sweet compliments to one another, all the mean while remembering what NOT to say??

Girl, you look GOOD. Period.
Dude, you are AWESOME. Period.
Sister, you are smokin' hot! Period.
Friend, you are so freakin fun. Period!