Only a Decade

A post I recently shared on Instagram said this:

“Who else’s son (or daughter) can barely fit on your mama lap anymore...? It keeps dawning on me we have a decade until this kid turns eighteen. Doesn’t a decade seem SO short when you think of it regards to our kids growing up?! Anyway, Pierson is going on an adventure with his dad today and I’m just holding on to his sweet self as long as I can. They are going on a fishing trip with a professional fisherman, staying in a cabin, and I just know they are going to create the best summer dad and son memory together. * Hang tight to your babes, friends. Soon their feet will dangle off your lap and holding them won’t be as easy!* ❤️”

Lots of other mamas shared their hearts with me there; all agreeing the years have gone much too fast. Our Pierson Clive turned 8 on June 15 and I am still in disbelief. I’ll never forget laboring with him, bringing him home from the hospital, and the precious newborn moments we had. Eight years of this boy…EIGHT! On his birthday I turned to my husband and said, “We only have a decade left until he’s an adult….”

Yeah, yeah I know…18 is very much still a teenager in many ways, but you know it’s that weird mix: teen + adult + brand new person ready to take on life full speed. I mean heck, when I look back at my OWN years, I was married at the age of 20! Two years past 18?!

I wonder where he will want to go to college..I wonder what he will want to be..I wonder what he will accomplish..I wonder what he will fail at..I wonder if he’ll still need me.

I’m sure you’ve had those thoughts too. I say it all the time and I’m not the one who came up with this phrase: “The days may be long but the years are short.” Only a decade, P Man…you’re growing so fast.

You are a brave and kind soul, Kiddo. Right now you are OBSESSED with ‘creatures,’ big and small, the creepier and crawlier the better. Recently you brought me a LIVE spider IN TO MY KITCHEN, and I quickly applauded you and asked you kindly to take him back OUT. You are my frog catcher, fishing lover, sweet, sweet son. In a couple of months, you start third grade, and I just can’t believe it. The end of your second grade year was pretty robbed by a pandemic, but you took it in stride and did amazing, as we knew you would. We are proud of you, cheer for you, and daily ask the Lord to keep you close to Him. Sure eight looks great on you, but my mama heart will always be a little sad that you are getting SO big. I wonder where the baby boy who fit so perfectly on my lap went…and then I look at you, and you’re right here. Growing, changing, maturing, laughing, loving, learning, and I love each and every single stage with you.

Worry No More Thanks to this Magic Blue Roller

Aahh the “I don’t want to go to school blues.” Our kids are both amazing in school. They don’t have behavior problems, they listen and are respectful, they easily make friends, and they are so well loved. However, second grade for Pierson has admittedly brought some new challenges and it’s been kind of a weird spot for us parenting wise. The first few months of school he was really struggling with some anxiety. We couldn’t pin point it, but it even got to the point where he was complaining of chest pains and he needed to be seen by a doctor! Luckily and by the grace of God, we are MOSTLY out of that stage/ phase, but I wanted to share with you a fun tool that we have also been using with and for him.
The Magic Blue Roller:

This roller contains Frankincense (in your premium starter kit), Valor (also in the premium starter kit,) stress away (hello premium starter kit) and Bergamot. Bergamot was an oil I purchased for fall blends AND so that I could add it to roller balls like this one; it has a calming and centering scent, which is why it’s a well-known oil for stress relief.

I thought it would be fun to have Pierson help me with this and he loved it! My kids have loved being a part of our ‘oily journey,’ and have had a lot of fun adventuring with me, especially on DIY stuff like this! (And Reese LOVES to talk in my stories as y’all know about the starter kit and oils themselves.)

All you need to do for this roller is to add 10 drops of each oil into a roller ball, and then add your favorite carrier oil—in our case we used Jojoba! (Many people use fractionated coconut oil, but Jojoba is what I had on hand.)

I think it was pretty funny that Pierson wanted to wear his Harry Potter costume while doing this; I told him it was very fitting since this roller is called the Magic Blue Roller (or you may see it as the ‘Unicorn Roller.’

He was SO proud of himself and he immediately put it in his backpack for school. I told him to talk with his teacher and make sure she was on board, but that he should be able to apply it to his wrists a couple of times a day when he was feeling anxious or worried, and that he could breathe it in to try and help de-stress. He LOVES it, guys and I’m so glad his teacher was totally cool with it. It’s been a little over a month that he made and was using it pretty often, now he tells me that it’s in his backpack instead of locker, and that he doesn’t need it ‘as much’ as he had been. This blend is GREAT for all of the ‘scared of the dark,’ ‘I don’t want to go to school,’ ‘I don’t like crowds,’ and all the ‘can’t stop worrying about all the things’ type of feelings. Not only has it been good for Pierson, but I have made one for MYSELF because y’all know I can be QUITE the worrier!!

I want to add that consistency is key with these oils. Are they actually magical? Of course not. It takes repetition and time for oils to do their job; to BE the health support that we want them to be. If you have a sore throat, use your oils every 4-6 hours like you would over the counter medicine; when you’re feeling anxious—use your roller, and then use it again. It’s not going to hurt you, ever! For me personally, I am easily affected by scent and smell. When I breathe oils in like the above roller ball recipe, it does help me feel calm. But it’s not a one time one and done thing. If you make this recipe I would love to know! Comment below your FAVORITE essential oils for calming support and/or anxiety relief! I would love to hear from you :) And if you are interested in learning more, please comment or email me so we can be in touch!

When Your Baby Turns 5: A Letter to My Boy

"Nonsense. Young boys should never be sent to bed. They always wake up a day older, and then before you know it, they're grown." -J.M. Barrie

Surely it was yesterday that we brought you home from the hospital. Father's Day 2012 to be exact. In your little lion knit hat, a lion embroidered onesie, your dad and I drove away from the hospital and we knew it then--we were setting out on the biggest adventure of our life. But wait, sweet boy, the reality is that actually, now you are turning five. And as much as I hold tightly to the memory of you as a newborn, the truth is, you haven't been one for quite a while. That summer was a magical one. The three of us tucked inside our well air conditioned home, the dogs gently licking you from time to time, the cats curious but content; it was the summer of lazy days, long naps, and cuddling on the couch whenever we wanted to. We didn't have a care in the world, and I can't remember a more simple season than that one. 

It all changed of course once your sister was born. You were a mere fifteen months old, just a baby yourself in my eyes. I remember when you ran in to the hospital room with your Gg, you were so excited. You wore a 'Big Brother' shirt and I snapped some very blurry shots of you loving on your new sis. You of course won't remember a day without her, and while I think I barely will either--I do cherish the times it was just you and me. I love her, of course! But the first fourteen months of your life was just all about YOU. Watching you learn to sit, crawl, walk, run, your first time in a pool, you meeting 100-year old Gram, your first foods, sickness, teeth. Gosh, now it is a blur but at the same time, it feels like a movie reel replaying in my head and heart constantly. Nothing was wrong at all once we were gifted with our Reese, but suddenly you had became bigger, and when we brought her home, I realized how having my second baby made my first, you, seem so grown.

In Shauna Niequist's devotional, Savor, which I received on Mother's Day of this year, the first devotional for me to read was May 13th's and she said this about her son: 

"I see flashes of Henry's future face all the time in him...and because he's on the tight rope walk of little boy and big boy. Yesterday at his kindergarten screening I saw both of them--the little boy and the big--in alternating moments. He was shy and proud; he was uncertain and full of swagger. He was little and he was big, right in the same day, in the same moments."

Hello, tears. Pierson Clive, I see in you daily, the little and the big. You are brave and strong, yet you want your mama close by often. When you trip and fall and the tears stream down your face, I scoop you up and embrace you in my arms. Your long legs spill over mine and I fear the day that you will be too big to sit in my lap. (Some days I wonder why God couldn't have created me to be taller JUST so you'd seem little a tad longer?)  I've had to press pause while writing this over the past several weeks, yes, weeks. I can't seem to find the time to sit and consistently type longer than a few minutes or so, and honestly as I write, I just can't stop crying. I'm currently wondering if other moms my age ever experience this, what I'm feeling. I am so proud of you, yet at the same time, it feels as if my heart is literally breaking as I know you are hitting a gigantic milestone, and getting so very big. 

Currently we are on vacation in Gulfport, Mississippi. We drove ten hours to stay at the beach for a week, and it has been the most amazing thing watching you swim in the ocean, diving head first in to the shallow waves, being an awesome big brother to your little sis. While walking back to our hotel, we all witnessed a car blow out two tires and come to a skidding stop on the shoulder across the street. It was pretty traumatic for both you and Reese, and while your dad walked over to help the frazzled driver, you asked me to pray aloud and ask Jesus to help the man be okay. You guys wouldn't stop talking about it, even though I tried to reassure you that everything was okay. "I just need to go to a quiet place when we get back to the hotel, Mom. I just need to talk to Jesus alone and ask Him for help." Sure enough, the three of us walked into our room and you put your shoes away, quietly shut the bathroom door, and I listened with my ear against the door to hear your sweet voice speaking to Jesus. You prayed so sincerely, confident that Jesus would help this man. Your dad and I could not be more proud of the boy you are; one who runs to your Creator when you are frightened, one who believes that He can fix all things. 

Your little and your big, I can see both. Your childlike innocence and faith, I have watched it grow exponentially and am in awe of you.

I have to remind myself that you are turning five, not fifteen, and absolutely not twenty-five. We have a long journey to walk together, many more memories and moments while you are yes, still little. You aren't a baby anymore and you're not a toddler; I think now you're officially a KID. Somehow five years have come and gone. The little lion baby that we brought home from the hospital has turned into a child who loves to draw, color, write, and read. Your small hands love to create and your heart loves to love. You tell me all the time that you love everyone, and that you can feel your heart getting bigger because it just loves "so many people." You remind me a lot of childhood me, Pierson; if you can't tell, I feel things so very deeply and it's very evident that you do too. 

I pray that with your feelings, I can help you sort through them with strength and stability. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with love for you kids that I think surely I'll pool up and melt right into the ground, but I'm not sure that's exactly rational. I hope that you continue to chase and rest in Jesus and that when I let you down and disappoint you, you'll be able to feel His arms. Pierson, thank you for being my boy. My first born. The child who first made me a mama. The one who always wants me, who wraps his arms around me, who tells me that he loves it when I wear dresses. Thank you for being mine.

Here's to five [and many more!] years, Buddy. These five went by so quickly, and if you remember them at all, I pray you'll remember how loved you are. You're my big little guy, P Man. And I love you to the moon and back. 

Love, 

Mama.