Mid Year, Mid Life, Mid 30's?!

That number feels super weird coming out of my mouth. 35. Thirty-FIVE? Officially MID thirties now, right!? Everyone said that ’30’s is awesome,’ buuuut is it….? Let’s see. Maybe reflecting on this phenomona will help me realize it….

I got my first HORSE when I turned 30. Dream come true. 

I lost my dream job I never knew was my dream job (voluntarily, that still counts.) Boo. 

I got diagnosed with MS. Weird. Tough. Kinda shocking.

I got to meet pregnant teens and mamas and establish meaningful and longterm relationships with several of them. What a cool opportunity!! 

We have fallen in love with our church, Northeast Christian, and are meeting new friends. 

I ran my self-made mini marathon in my 30’s all by myself, that was cool. 

I lived through a pandemic in my 30’s. Weird. Sad. Thankful for healthcare.

I started intentional and semi intense therapy for myself, and my marriage, in my 30’s. That’s been eye opening. 

My son got accepted into the best middle school in the district, state really, and I teach there for part of my work day. Pretty darn neat. 

I had some really fun and cool partnerships these past few years, and have done well photography speaking. That’s awesome. 

Had my first spinal tap, suffered immensely from the post lumbar migraine, and I NEVER want to live through that again..

Got a new tattoo on my bday last year, definitely want another. 

Kinda weird, but 35 means a whole new age demographic. I’ve surpassed 25-34 and now I’m in the 35-44 range! It feels weird to tell my students that I’m 35 or that I just had my 35th birthday, in which most say, “You don’t look that old!!” THAT old. 

But you know what? I feel like these days and with SOME things, I’m thinking more clearly. Like I can say, “look, this is me being transparent and honest and this is me.” Facing a brand new medical diagnosis was a huuuuge eye opener for me, and it was also one that showed me the greatness of God. Could I be mad and upset that I HAVE this disease? Sure! But instead I see how vastly He is has worked in my favor. Every time I lift weight and run and ride my horses, I thank Him. So this birthday I have decided that that’s statement I feel for myself regarding turning ‘another year older…’ grateful. Grateful for another year. For my health. For the Lord doing ginormous things in my sometimes mundane life. I am grateful for my family and my friends who surround and love me. There will always be another birthday to freak out about or become weirdly reflective during—but each year I HOPE I can always see how far I’ve come and that I’ll be GRATEFUL for all the steps it took to get there.

A Letter to My Ten Year Old Son

Ten years of you, my dear boy. Ten glorious, beautiful, BLESSED, years with you. I am so thankful the Lord trusted us to be YOURS. At 11:11am on 6/15/12, you were born into this big, scary, ever changing world. 

I was thinking, what have I learned in these ten years of being your mama? Well, the first is that time is fragile. You can’t stop it, or catch it, or hold it with your fingers. It slips through our fingers and truthfully, the cliche saying, “The days are long but the years are so fast,” couldn’t be more true for how I feel. 

Double digits. Wow, that is YOU, today. You are tall. Your long legs are so lean and strong. You love to play sports and have a new interest in soccer, which has been fun to watch. You are incredibly smart, and I can so see you being a savvy engineer one day. Maybe not. Maybe you’ll be a teacher. Or a doctor. Or a scientist. Maybe you’ll be a college athlete. Time will tell. And as I said, we already know that will feel like all too soon. 

The world needs you, Pierson Clive. You are a wonderful, brave, adventurous little boy that is going to change so many lives. You’ve changed mine, sweet boy. Oh how you have changed mine. 

In just ten more years, you will be twenty. Will you still be at home? Living with me and Dad? Going to a local college, maybe U of L? Again, time will tell. I can’t think about how there may be only “eight more summers” that you spend with me at home. My mind will explode and my heart will surely shatter. Instead I will be so thankful for what I do have with you—the time, the laughter, the memories, the hugs, the still nightly back tickles and you asking me to sing a bedtime song. 

The world is work, Pierson. There may be an easy route, a simpler path, but that doesn’t always make it right. I pray that you have work ethic, and grit. That you realize how sweet success is when you have put a little sweat into it. But beyond the physical work, my son, the world is full of emotional work as well. I pray that you will love dearly every version of you. I also pray that you will know and love and cling to Jesus. In every part of your life. That you will trust Him with the answers, and you will always seek Him first. In the good times and the bad, happy and sad…I promise He is walking with you.

Oh how you will change these next few months, these next years. Be quirky, goofy, curious, and believe in yourself even when others do not. And know this, whatever phase and stage you are in, your dad and I and SO MANY PEOPLE, believe in you. 

We love you. All ten years of you. The ups and downs, the funny and everything in between. I hope you look back on these ten years and smile. Knowing that we have loved every single second with YOU.

Happy 10th birthday, Pierson. Mama loves you so dang much.

Hi There, I'm Jack Bogart

Well, Friends. We did a thing.

Golden Retrievers are basically my love language, so it was a no brainer when Asa and I finally felt ready to add to our clan. We prayed and prayed and looked and looked and ultimately decided that Great Golden Breeding near Morehead, Kentucky would be where our new pup came from. We picked him up on Labor Day and trust me when I say it was SO hard to choose. ALL of the boy puppies were so great! We knew we wanted a boy because Asa has missed HIS boy so dearly—our wonderful Humphrey Bogart, and we wanted to get another guy in his honor. That’s why his name is Jack Bogart. After our sweet boy we had twelve incredible years with.

We were number three in line to choose from the male puppies, and when we got there, we knew we had chosen the right breeder. Farah was incredible, kind, patient, and very helpful and her facility for the pups was wonderful! It was such a fun memory that I hope our kids remember forever!

Not a day goes by that I don’t miss our Elsa Noel. My first American Golden. This boy is in honor of BOTH Asa and I’s first kids ;) Welcome to the family, Jack Bogart. So far we call you Jack Jack, Jackie Boy, and Reese calls you Bubba.

Emma sure was surprised and as reserved as I was to GET another dog, gosh they both make my heart so full. She adores him SO much and he just loves her. They play and play and Emma is so patient and gentle with her new baby. We wrapped him up and told her we had gotten her a gift.

Bring on the potty training, some sleepless nights, and ALL the Golden kisses. Here’s to the newest chapter in our life. We are very, very excited!

Only a Decade

A post I recently shared on Instagram said this:

“Who else’s son (or daughter) can barely fit on your mama lap anymore...? It keeps dawning on me we have a decade until this kid turns eighteen. Doesn’t a decade seem SO short when you think of it regards to our kids growing up?! Anyway, Pierson is going on an adventure with his dad today and I’m just holding on to his sweet self as long as I can. They are going on a fishing trip with a professional fisherman, staying in a cabin, and I just know they are going to create the best summer dad and son memory together. * Hang tight to your babes, friends. Soon their feet will dangle off your lap and holding them won’t be as easy!* ❤️”

Lots of other mamas shared their hearts with me there; all agreeing the years have gone much too fast. Our Pierson Clive turned 8 on June 15 and I am still in disbelief. I’ll never forget laboring with him, bringing him home from the hospital, and the precious newborn moments we had. Eight years of this boy…EIGHT! On his birthday I turned to my husband and said, “We only have a decade left until he’s an adult….”

Yeah, yeah I know…18 is very much still a teenager in many ways, but you know it’s that weird mix: teen + adult + brand new person ready to take on life full speed. I mean heck, when I look back at my OWN years, I was married at the age of 20! Two years past 18?!

I wonder where he will want to go to college..I wonder what he will want to be..I wonder what he will accomplish..I wonder what he will fail at..I wonder if he’ll still need me.

I’m sure you’ve had those thoughts too. I say it all the time and I’m not the one who came up with this phrase: “The days may be long but the years are short.” Only a decade, P Man…you’re growing so fast.

You are a brave and kind soul, Kiddo. Right now you are OBSESSED with ‘creatures,’ big and small, the creepier and crawlier the better. Recently you brought me a LIVE spider IN TO MY KITCHEN, and I quickly applauded you and asked you kindly to take him back OUT. You are my frog catcher, fishing lover, sweet, sweet son. In a couple of months, you start third grade, and I just can’t believe it. The end of your second grade year was pretty robbed by a pandemic, but you took it in stride and did amazing, as we knew you would. We are proud of you, cheer for you, and daily ask the Lord to keep you close to Him. Sure eight looks great on you, but my mama heart will always be a little sad that you are getting SO big. I wonder where the baby boy who fit so perfectly on my lap went…and then I look at you, and you’re right here. Growing, changing, maturing, laughing, loving, learning, and I love each and every single stage with you.