Women with kids, I don't know about you, but come eight o'clock every night, I. am. done.
Like, I put whoever's turn it is down for the night, turn around five seconds later to hug him or her five more times, fill that cup of water, blow their nose, put socks on their suddenly cold feet, take socks off now increasingly hot feet, and then I fall asleep outside their door. Okay, that falling asleep part doesn't happen. I usually head to the computer, turn my desk lamp on, and get to work editing photos and/or reaching out to companies/respond to e-mails. You can usually find my husband in his comfy grey chair [formerly known as Reese's rocking chair], remote in hand, kicked back and ready for a couple of hours of unwinding. Sometimes I remind myself that everything I THINK is important after being mom ALL day, just isn't. And I join him on the couch, after grabbing my favorite fuzzy blanket, ready to potentially pass out for the rest of the night.
Parents, I don't know about in your household, but our routine pretty much looks the same, every. single. night.
Is that just us? We have a schedule, we have the things we each enjoy doing, we kind of separate ways, and we hunker down to do whatever we want to do. Sometimes that's together, and sometimes that's apart. It's eight years of marriage and it's not BAD, it's just comfortable. Comfortable is sweet, don't get me wrong, but sometimes, you need to switch things up.
Recently as I tucked the kids into bed, (plural, because they each need me to tuck them BOTH in AFTER Asa has done whichever one)--I was missing him. Staying at home feels SO different than being away from him teaching. Because teaching, we were doing very similar things all day long: teaching 3-5th grader emotional and behaviorally challenged children. And we were both apart from our own children, but we shared a common thread. Now that I'm taking some time off, and my conversations are almost solely with a 3 and 4-year old around the clock, I miss the heck out of him!
I walked down the stairs, probably hunched over because I was so tired, and I KNOW I was feeling ready for bed that particular night. But I came over to my computer, searched "songs to slow dance to" on YouTube, and started playing the first one that came up. I went over to the TV, turned it off, and grabbed my husband by the hand. He looked very confused, but was already starting to smile. I stood on his feet, like I always do, and rested my head on his chest. "What motivated this?" he asked.
"I just miss you," I replied.
We danced through the whole song, he spun me in a few circles, and then planted a giant kiss on my forehead. We exchanged I love you's, and then instead of going to the living room to crash and watch TV, we sat at our eight foot farm-table instead. We talked and laughed for an HOUR. And I realized that what was once a typical and mundane Tuesday night, had turned into the most amazing and absolutely needed date night. This is it:
Marriage.
Dating.
Love.
Romance.
Exhaustion.
Sharing.
Caring.
Vulnerability.
Risks.
Eight years of marriage.
We had the honor of being a part of a friend's wedding this weekend and I was the only bridesmaid who was a wife and mother. As teary eyed as all the rest of the ladies were staring at the bride and groom, I looked over at my husband who was being the epitome of SUPERDAD with our two kids in the front row; trying to keep them quiet, rested, attentive, and to help them get through however long the ceremony was going to be without a ginormous toddler melt down. Of COURSE I was SO excited for our friends who were exchanging vows and sharing in communion with each other, but tears welled in my eyes when I looked over at him and his eyes locked with mine. It hasn't been easy. There have been so many arguments, so many selfish remarks and comments and actions [mostly on my end...ALL on my end???], disagreements, forgiveness being plead, grace being begged for, and just LIFE.
SO MUCH LIFE...
housed in these eight years. And I looked back over to this gorgeous bride and groom and thought, "May you ALWAYS dance with each other."
And I suppose that's my recommendation to all of you. When you're tired and feeling weary, when life feels boring and more than mundane, when you've wiped a million boogers and changed thousands of poopy diapers... look to your spouse, your love, your person. Take him or her by the hand and whisper,
"Babe, let's dance."
If you want to hear the song that has always been our absolute favorite, the one we call "our song," click here!
