When You Ruin Date Night

Recently my husband and I had a date night. I’m not sure if those come easy for you lovebirds…? But for us, they are few and far between, largely because intentionally planning them hasn’t really been a priority throughout our marriage. Asa and I are REALLY good at nights in. Inwardly, we are kind of homebodies. Toss me my pajamas, give me my favorite blanket, and I am GREAT to curl up on the couch and binge watch ALL our TV shows with him. It’s not that we don’t enjoy going out, because we do. It’s always fun to get a babysitter, dress in real clothing, put some makeup on, and go OUT to a nice meal—it just doesn’t happen often, or even monthly for us.

[Now I’m curious…how often do you plan and go on actual dates with your spouse??]

Well, the other night we had gotten a great babysitter, the kids were excited and literally shooed us out the door, and Asa and I were soon sitting down at a restaurant. A little back story could maybe help this post make some more sense, so bear with me. It was a Friday night. My work week had been incredibly stressful; daily getting an influx of new students, and the days themselves left me feeling pretty drained overall. Also, I have been getting quite panicked about my quiet e-mail inbox and the lack of partnerships/collaborations being offered. I know January is always slower for Influencers and Bloggers, but for whatever reason, I have been FREAKED. Asa and I had spent most of the week spit balling about what I could do differently with my Instagram account, why I was dropping followers like flies, and praying about what I even want to be DOING social media wise. That, was also mentally exhausting.

Then, we started to talk about the horses. He never said anything offensive or hurtful, but for whatever unknown to me reason, I started to shut DOWN. I got super quiet (because that’s what I do when I first get mad), and then my emotions began to spiral out of control. The night in itself resulted in us fighting, and me going to bed without him.

I should clarify, this fight wasn’t loud, ugly, or out of control. But I was being and feeling completely irrational, Asa felt hurt and confused, and our one in a million date night was ruined. Has this ever happened to you?!

The next MORNING, I woke feeling just plain depressed. I was sad our evening didn’t go as planned, that I had once again let my bratty inner child surface, but yet, I continued to be a jerk. I remained quiet when Asa woke up. I didn’t make eye contact. And I couldn’t even explain WHY!!! I decided to sit down with my Bible and journal. I began to write down the parts that I could remember sensing my heart get upset as we drove around and talked. I wrote it all down, and then I realized this:

For whatever reason, I felt ALONE. But in actuality, I was far from it.

Asa has ALWAYS told me that he is here with me and for me, never against me. When I get downright angry because of my anxiety and worries, I tend to lash out at him or just speak aggressively and defensively. I can get so annoyed at my circumstances that I speak from my fear and NOT in love. I asked him if he could please read what I had written in my journal because that was the best way I knew how to process what I was feeling. He of course willingly did so, and then pulled me onto his lap…yet again reminding me that he is here WITH me. That he didn’t say anything to be hurtful or offensive, or to upset me—he had spoken some truthful statements, such as, “When we got Rocco, I thought we were agreeing to leasing Paddy to someone. That decision wasn’t me agreeing to be a two horse family, yet, in that moment.” He then had told me that it’s all OKAY, God’s worked it out beautifully so far and he’s not upset with me or the situation, that was just something he had noticed. And he was RIGHT. Back in September I thought for sure I would find someone to lease Paddy because I didn’t truthfully think that I could ever ride him WELL again. Then I rode him at his new farm, and ride after ride was wonderful, leaving me wanting to ride him AGAIN. I quickly had no desire to find him a new home or to have someone lease him, because I was doing the unimaginable. But when Asa said that, I took it so personally as if somehow he was disappointed in me or upset.

Do you ever do this? Project thoughts and feelings on to someone you love who does NOT deserve it?!

“Often, I STILL assign thoughts to others that they never actually think. I hold them accountable to harsh judgements hey never make. I own a rejection from them they never game me” (29). Lysa Terkeurst is by far still one of my favorite authors and her book Uninvited will FOREVER be teaching and reminding me. When Asa has something to say to me, he says it. Why or how do I get so caught up trying to read in between the lines, when there aren’t any lines to READ?

Anyway, friends. I ruined that date night. But I learned a valuable lesson by doing so. After ten years being married to the man that I love, I still need to calm the heck down and have a reality check. I also want to try harder to BE more intentional about actual date nights, and that is one of our goals together for 2019. Stay tuned, I’ll let ya know how our future February date goes ;) Asa and I strive to continue having an exceptional marriage, and I am forever thankful for the patient and loving man that he is.

Kicking Off 30 Right: a Night at the Omni!

When you are about to turn a chapter on a brand new decade, I'd say it's absolutely necessary to go big or big home celebration wise! I am super thankful to our brand new Omni Hotel for ensuring that this happened for me last weekend and I am pumped to tell Y'all about it. First of all, look at that VIEW!! That was from our room, which was on the tenth floor. It was so inspiring to look out the window and see so much beautiful history--from the buildings, skyscrapers, and even in the distance, the bridge connecting Louisville and Indiana. 

The hotel is covered in a crisp and shiny glass, giving you that WOW impression as soon as you arrive. There are intersecting towers that represent the crossroads of the past, present, and future of Louisville. There is a common theme of bourbon, culture, and water throughout the Omni, and within the design, there is a beautiful blend of polish and grit; seen in the colors, the shine, textures, and nuances throughout. 

The trusses in the lobby ceiling are representative of the Big Four Bridge, which has a TON of history! There are Edison lightbulbs throughout the entire hotel--did you know his light bulb was first demonstrated to the public IN Louisville?? I had no idea he lived in the Butchertown neighborhood [not far from where Asa and I spent the majority of our marriage thus far.] 

We walked so slowly around the Omni, soaking in the richness of the culture, history, and beautiful art pieces throughout. Across from the escalators, there is a giant wall of art, which are all locally sourced from various Kentucky artists across ALL media [photography, watercolors, textiles, contemporary, and interactive]. Can you guess which my favorite pieces were...? 

I have never been to a hotel that offered SO many things and activities to do. There are at least twenty within the Omni; ranging from restaurants to eat in, a marketplace to shop, a bourbon tasting lounge, an amazingly adorable retail store, a flower shop, a Spa, a rooftop pool, a library bar, and get this--even a speakeasy with a cocktail lounge and bowling alley inside!! And guys, that isn't even covering them all. So, what were our favorite parts? Well, I hope I can convey to you just how incredible they are but I have a feeling you're going to want to check out the Omni for yourself--and I hope you do! 

I am very much so a 'knick-knack' kinda gal, so the Miller & Co. retail store was heaven for me. I literally want ALL of you reading this to go here, if for nothing else, then to meet Leeanne, who greeted us with a huge smile and Southern charm. She made me laugh out loud the second we met and when I asked her if I could snap her photo, she said, "Girl! Let me put my hair down!" I told her I wanted her autograph and she signed my receipt. YES, I bought stuff, duh! Do you SEE that horse bag I'm holding?! It's mine all mine and was only $25! 

Lewis + Louis was next. This is a bourbon retail and tasting room, where you will be professionally guided through bourbon tastings in a unique and relaxed setting. The city of Louisville was actually established AFTER Louis XVI, in 1778; so this was another incredibly culturally rich experience. PS: there are more bourbon barrels than people AND horses in the state of Kentucky, sooooo that's kind of mindblowing. 

The Library Bar was one of my absolute favorite spots. A stylish and casual atmosphere, there is a giant fireplace in the center and tons of comfortable seating throughout. Here too, there is no shortage of BEAUTIFUL art; one of the walls is covered in beautiful black and white vintage images. I love seeing the history behind where we live, I think it is so inspiring and really made me fall in love with Louisville all over again. 

The Falls City Market was absolutely mind-blowing. Here is where you will find the Omni's urban market and Food Hall, with open-air street access featuring tons of locally sourced products. The well-known Heine Brothers is your easy access to delicious coffee and lattes, and there are a TON of dining and food options. You can get delicious crepes and waffles at Belle Crepe, or mouthwatering BBQ at Bridges, sushi at the sushi bar which has counter seats, as well as daily prepared gourmet rolls. There is a butcher there providing meats from local farms, fresh seafood, a food truck featuring tacos, Iron Quarter which serves Artisan pizza paired with wine and local Louisville craft beer. In the Market, you'll find a flower shop, the Bottle Shop that sells fine wine and spirits, fresh produce, milk, cheeses, fruits, and over 2,000 grocery items! There are housewares such as Williams Sonoma, and Wendell's Book and Magazine store; Y'all, I could go on and on but I think you need to check it out for yourself. I'm telling you, everything is designed and created so beautifully, you will love experiencing it! 

Let's talk about our actual room for a moment, shall we? The carpet is a stylized interpretation of flowing water (Falls of Ohio!) and ties back to one of the three design elements. The windows overlook our magnificent city, providing excellent natural light. The bed was comfortable, the room spacious, and the BATHROOM was the nicest hotel bathroom I've ever seen. The shower in our house is so small and so cramped, my six-foot-four husband barely fits. Even petite me has my nose in the corner and it's always more of a chore than a refresher to be in! THIS shower, is first of all gigantic with strong water pressure, and guess what? We weren't fighting over who got to stand in the stream of water! 

Now let's talk about my favorite part, equally my husband's favorite as well--the Mokara Spa up on the third floor! We have been married for nine years and we have never had a couples massage. Let me just tell you that I am now convinced we need to have one at LEAST a few times a year because hello, Heaven! The spa is absolutely stunning! There are seven massage treatment rooms, four manicure, and four pedicure stations, and there are an array of products you can buy to treat and take care of yourself. 

Inside the Spa's locker room, there is a beautiful and large shower. There is also a cedar sauna (I wish I had had more time to indulge in that but we were kind of on a time crunch to pick up our kiddos from the sitter--guess I'll just have to go back, right? Ha!) There were cold rags, fruit-infused ice water, and gorgeous vanities where you could sit and do your hair. Asa and I had an hour-long massage and truly, it was magical. The ladies had us choose which oil we preferred, lit a calming candle, and they both did a fabulous job helping us feel relaxed (especially since we had run nine miles together the day prior!)  I really want to go back some time this spring or summer and do that again, I have realized that I am not the greatest at being still and remaining calm--and the massage helped me do just that. 

I have SO much more to share about the Omni, but truthfully, I believe you need to head downtown and see for yourself. Allow yourself a moment to get away, eat some delicious food, enjoy some beverages, and definitely treat yourself to a Spa treatment. Asa and I ate at Neighborhood Services for dinner and we weren't disappointed ONE bit. This is a restaurant ran by renowned chef Nick Badovinus, featuring his signature self-described 'honest food and drink in the American tradition.' For an appetizer, we ordered the Hot Brown Tater Tots (oh my word, I'm making myself so hungry writing this, guys). Asa got the chicken and waffles as his entree and I ordered a giant salad with a side of mac n' cheese. ALL of it was SO good and we want to go back with friends soon! 

Last but not least, let me just say that I haven't ordered room service at a hotel since I was a KID and my parents were the ones paying--so this basically felt like real life heaven Sunday morning. We had crepes and vanilla yogurt with granola, fresh fruit, orange juice, and a pot of coffee.

Asa and I haven't had a weekend away from our house in a LONG time. We feel forever thankful to our sweet babysitter who stayed overnight with our kids and for the Omni, for making all of this possible.  

If you're planning a trip to Louisville, I give the Omni five stars. If you're local, go take a little staycation and enjoy the history of this beautiful city! You could even go for a date night or girls night, the options are limitless with all that this hotel has to offer. Dinner, drinks, bowling ALL in the same spot?! And valet parking to boot! 
 

Let's Dance

Women with kids, I don't know about you, but come eight o'clock every night, I. am. done. 

Like, I put whoever's turn it is down for the night, turn around five seconds later to hug him or her five more times, fill that cup of water, blow their nose, put socks on their suddenly cold feet, take socks off now increasingly hot feet, and then I fall asleep outside their door. Okay, that falling asleep part doesn't happen. I usually head to the computer, turn my desk lamp on, and get to work editing photos and/or reaching out to companies/respond to e-mails. You can usually find my husband in his comfy grey chair [formerly known as Reese's rocking chair], remote in hand, kicked back and ready for a couple of hours of unwinding. Sometimes I remind myself that everything I THINK is important after being mom ALL day, just isn't. And I join him on the couch, after grabbing my favorite fuzzy blanket, ready to potentially pass out for the rest of the night. 

Parents, I don't know about in your household, but our routine pretty much looks the same, every. single. night. 

Is that just us? We have a schedule, we have the things we each enjoy doing, we kind of separate ways, and we hunker down to do whatever we want to do. Sometimes that's together, and sometimes that's apart. It's eight years of marriage and it's not BAD, it's just comfortable. Comfortable is sweet, don't get me wrong, but sometimes, you need to switch things up. 

Recently as I tucked the kids into bed, (plural, because they each need me to tuck them BOTH in AFTER Asa has done whichever one)--I was missing him. Staying at home feels SO different than being away from him teaching. Because teaching, we were doing very similar things all day long: teaching 3-5th grader emotional and behaviorally challenged children. And we were both apart from our own children, but we shared a common thread. Now that I'm taking some time off, and my conversations are almost solely with a 3 and 4-year old around the clock, I miss the heck out of him! 

I walked down the stairs, probably hunched over because I was so tired, and I KNOW I was feeling ready for bed that particular night. But I came over to my computer, searched "songs to slow dance to" on YouTube, and started playing the first one that came up. I went over to the TV, turned it off, and grabbed my husband by the hand. He looked very confused, but was already starting to smile. I stood on his feet, like I always do, and rested my head on his chest. "What motivated this?" he asked. 

"I just miss you," I replied. 

We danced through the whole song, he spun me in a few circles, and then planted a giant kiss on my forehead. We exchanged I love you's, and then instead of going to the living room to crash and watch TV, we sat at our eight foot farm-table instead. We talked and laughed for an HOUR. And I realized that what was once a typical and mundane Tuesday night, had turned into the most amazing and absolutely needed date night. This is it: 

Marriage. 

Dating. 

Love. 

Romance. 

Exhaustion. 

Sharing. 

Caring. 

Vulnerability. 

Risks.

Eight years of marriage.

We had the honor of being a part of a friend's wedding this weekend and I was the only bridesmaid who was a wife and mother. As teary eyed as all the rest of the ladies were staring at the bride and groom, I looked over at my husband who was being the epitome of SUPERDAD with our two kids in the front row; trying to keep them quiet, rested, attentive, and to help them get through however long the ceremony was going to be without a ginormous toddler melt down. Of COURSE I was SO excited for our friends who were exchanging vows and sharing in communion with each other, but tears welled in my eyes when I looked over at him and his eyes locked with mine. It hasn't been easy. There have been so many arguments, so many selfish remarks and comments and actions [mostly on my end...ALL on my end???], disagreements, forgiveness being plead, grace being begged for, and just LIFE. 

SO MUCH LIFE...

housed in these eight years. And I looked back over to this gorgeous bride and groom and thought, "May you ALWAYS dance with each other." 

And I suppose that's my recommendation to all of you. When you're tired and feeling weary, when life feels boring and more than mundane, when you've wiped a million boogers and changed thousands of poopy diapers... look to your spouse, your love, your person. Take him or her by the hand and whisper, 

"Babe, let's dance." 

If you want to hear the song that has always been our absolute favorite, the one we call "our song," click here!