It's been a while since I've written for this series and having launched it in December, it seems surreal to somehow now be in the month of May! Loving and celebrating women is something that I am extremely passionate about, largely because I've realized that with social media especially, we {women} have a tendency to slip quietly behind the scenes and watch what everyone else is doing. We often feel not as important, or less than the world around us. That's why I started this series: The Beloved Woman. Because I want you to read the words of your sisters and know that even though you may not personally know these women, they are with you. They have been through so much of what you have; this is a place to share your voice. Here is where I want my friends and readers to know YOU. Where you are front and center, no longer behind the scenes. Here is where I want you to feel appreciated, noticed, deeply loved: beloved.
I am excited to share a dear friend of mine with you today, Allison Grubbs. I have known her amazing photographer husband, Billy, through word of mouth in Louisville and through Facebook. A while ago I decided that I also needed to know his wife. I had seen some of her posts because Billy would be tagged in them. I saw right away that she was such a strong woman, and that she had a story and testimony that needed to be shared. Allison, now 27, was diagnosed with endometriosis at the age of 22, and it is with such eagerness that I introduce you to this brave sister of mine.
A little bit about Allison:
"I am originally from Pennsylvania, but moved to Louisville KY at a young age. Now I live in a quirky 100+ year old home in the Highlands with my husband and our crazy Goldendoodle, Sunday. My husband, Billy Grubbs, is a film photographer and owner of State Film Lab. As for me, I have worked as a hairstylist for 8 years and I just completed my first year of nursing school at Spalding University. I’ll be spending my summer working as a Women’s Health Nurse Extern at Baptist Health Louisville. It’s been a long time coming (like seriously, I’ve been working on my Bachelor’s degree off and on for 6+ years!), but the plan is to graduate in June 2018 with a Bachelor’s in Science and Nursing degree. Upon graduation, I will be continuing on with Baptist Health as an RN, and the goal is to specialize in Women’s Health nursing.
I asked Allison, "When do feel the most beautiful?" I think this can be a challenging question for us ladies to answer, because we fear of coming across vain or narcissistic. But when I ask my sisters this, I mean feeling beautiful inside AND out. I love asking them to figure out when they feel beautiful, without necessarily a reason. It's not always when our hair and makeup is done or we are dressed all fancy for a date, and I loved her response. Allison said,
"I have come to learn that a person finds their true beauty when they are doing whatever it is that fills them up to their core. So at the risk of sounding complete cliché, I feel most beautiful when I am serving and taking care of others. This was instilled in me at a young age being that my grandmother and great aunt both had Limb Girdle Muscular Dystrophy. Taking care of someone is all that I have ever know, and it’s the one thing that comes to me so naturally. It’s the thing that fills me up to my core."
Allison has an incredibly humbling story about her journey with endometriosis, and she has such a heart for women and couples who struggle with this. I asked what her heart beats for; her biggest passions and dreams and she said:
"After being diagnosed with Endometriosis at the age of 22 and watching the disease strip me of my own fertility, one of my greatest passions in life is to educate and encourage other women who are silently suffering with diseases like endometriosis and infertility. Since our failed IVF treatment last March, I have been on a year long “break” from trying to conceive, and have been able to redirect my attention away from fertility to instead focus more on my nursing career. If I’m being honest, it has been so nice to step away from it all because it consumed my every thought for years. Of course, Billy and I long for a family. We can envision what our life would look like with a baby, and even though we have had 4 ½ years to process it, I’m sure we will still be totally unprepared, but our hearts will be so, so full."
In one of her recent Instagram posts, Allison shared a piece of heart with one of her miscarriages:
"04.25.17 marked 3 years since our first miscarriage.
This locket holds one out of the three mere moments in my life that my body has sustained a life other than my own. That pitiful little sprout that's barely hanging on is from a Forget-Me-Not seed that I planted in remembrance of that tiny soul that left all too quickly.
I can remember that day so vividly. Every painful contraction, every tear shed. It's a grief stricken memory that I never want to watch fade, because it's likely the most raw and pure emotion-filled moment I will live to see. But now I don't only look back and see my deep chest-caving-in sadness that I griped tightly onto for so long. Instead I see a messy start to a beautifully knitted testimony, one that God intricately pieced together, specifically for me. So for you my little one, I am endlessly thankful."
I have not personally gone through anything like what Allison and Billy have endured, however I am sure many of you reading this have, or know someone who has. I asked her what she would like to encourage you with and she replied:
"I would tell them that they are not alone in their sufferings. Infertility is the loneliest of places, and it’s so incredibly easy to get wrapped up in your own sadness. You have to sit back and watch everyone around you get what you have been fighting like hell for. You become desperate, frustrated, obsessive, bitter, jealous, and just plain sad. These emotions are completely normal, you have to grieve the fact that you may never be able to conceive the baby that you have spent years longing for, the one who has mommy’s eyes and daddy’s nose. So take time to throw yourself a little pity party, replenish those empty spaces, and move on knowing that God is working tirelessly during your waiting. Let your struggles drive and motivate you, and empower other women to do the same by being brave enough to share your story, and do this utterly unashamed. Stick with it so that you have a story to tell, one about how you managed to overcome your adversities, and how somewhere in between the spaces, you found your full potential to be the beautifully strong woman that God intricately designed you to be."
On Father's Day of last year, Allison had shared this little blurb about Billy, and it just absolutely made me tear up thinking of my own husband, who is a dad of two littles. The strength in her words, and the faith that she holds for her Creator is just really humbling. I'd like to think that I would be as faithful and trusting as she is, and at the same time, I'm a little ashamed to think that I might not be.
"Celebrating this guy on Father's Day and every day! He is beyond supportive in every aspect of my life. He has been there since the beginning...from my endometriosis diagnosis, multiple surgeries and scares, negative tests month after month, heartbreak when we lost our babies, each painful injection for IVF, and the list goes on. He continues to be strong and encouraging for us, and our future family. I am not in this journey alone...he goes through the motions of infertility just like me, and stands tall by my side. Some of the most special fathers are the ones who have to endure losing their babies before they ever get to meet them. He is, and will be, the best father in the world..."
Sisters and friends, wherever you are reading from, please know that I appreciate you. The love and support you've given towards this blog and my writing, this series, and my work--I am so grateful. If you would like to follow along with Allison's journey, you can find her Instagram account here. She and Billy are in continuous prayer, and I know YOUR prayers and encouragement would mean the world to them.
Please take a few seconds to comment below and give Allison some love! This woman holds so much love in her heart for SO many people, I really am blessed to know and call her friend.
