Most days I don’t think about my role, being Mom just seems normal. But there are a couple instances when I have felt like my heart is walking outside of my body and one of the times was when I went on vacation for the first time without my kids, and Asa and I were simply ALONE. Just the two of us. Without our kids. The first day I remember being somewhat giddy and excited and READY for several days with JUST my husband. And then I woke the next morning and my heart had disappeared. GONE. I was anxious and confused and overwhelmed and wondering constantly IF my kids were okay. Would the sitters remember to do this or that or what to sing them or how to comfort them? My heart was outside of my chest as I walked around the city and the beach, and as people passed us by—”They don’t know that I’m a Mom,” I thought.
To some of you, that may sound crazy ;) But to many of you, you’re like, “I get it.”
Once you’re Mom, you’re MOM. And while often you may not think about it because you’re doing the day in and day out and the chores and routine…but do you KNOW how important this role IS?
Enter how I have recently began to feel on sick days. Not my sick days, where I’m feeling like crap and missing MY mom—but the days where fevers are burning my sweet kiddos bodies, their heads are throbbing with headaches, their legs are weak with fatigue, they’re cranky and emotional and exhausted. These days. My heart starts walking outside of my chest and it grasps at their six and seven year old selves. My role as MOM explodes with such uniqueness. I think it was when our kids turned four and five and the baby and toddler days just felt so far behind me; that was when it hit me like a ton of bricks that these days are FLEETING. When they’re sick, who do they want?
Mom.
Dads and husbands, please don’t take offense at this post. Lord knows my kids ADORE their Dad and he is quite literally the BEST Dad there is. Our kids will sit on his lap and rock with him and cuddle, but then it’s time for Mom. The phrase used to be, “Mommy put me down,” when they couldn’t construct great sentences. Now they can actually say, “I love you, Dad. I want Mommy…”
There’s something about being needed isn’t there? Maybe that’s mostly what it is... Having tiny souls want you and need you and love you with all of their being. I kind of laughed as I wrote this out, it sounds so SELFISH. But this blog is really for me to remember how I feel. When our kids are sick, the Mom gene inside of me goes full fledge into overdrive and I’m there for it all. When they wake crying because their fever spikes, my feet fly up the stairs. I hum and sing and stroke their foreheads. I bring fresh cups of ice water and fill their diffusers with all the right blends to make their rooms cozy and clean. There’s something about being MOM on their sick days, that is so fulfilling; that is so valuable. They won’t always need me the way that their little selves do. And I finally understand how my own mom must feel with her daughter living six hours away. Probably like a piece or two of HER heart is outside of her chest… (I wonder if she knows how I FEEL when I am sick?!) When a fever hits me, guess who is the first for me to text and complain to? Yup…my mom!
Also don’t get me wrong—I don’t LIKE when our kids are sick. Heavens, no. I know that there are sicknesses FAR WORSE and more severe than the colds and viruses ours come down with; all I really mean, is that sometimes it is mundane to be Mom, when really there is nothing mundane about it. When they were newborns and then toddlers and were needing me on sick days, it was so different than it is now. It consisted of a lot more HOLDING and rocking and nursing and cuddling. They keep getting older; their legs keep getting longer and more difficult to fit on my lap…they keep becoming more independent.
But they keep needing me. And I pray to God that I NEVER take that for granted.
These thoughts inspired me to create a FREEBIE for YOU. Sign up below to grab my new download, ‘Wellness Support for You & Your Littles.’ Save it, print it, share it, use it. And if you have any questions, always email me! I love hearing from my readers and I am so thankful for ALL of you.
