Motherhood and Sick Days

Most days I don’t think about my role, being Mom just seems normal. But there are a couple instances when I have felt like my heart is walking outside of my body and one of the times was when I went on vacation for the first time without my kids, and Asa and I were simply ALONE. Just the two of us. Without our kids. The first day I remember being somewhat giddy and excited and READY for several days with JUST my husband. And then I woke the next morning and my heart had disappeared. GONE. I was anxious and confused and overwhelmed and wondering constantly IF my kids were okay. Would the sitters remember to do this or that or what to sing them or how to comfort them? My heart was outside of my chest as I walked around the city and the beach, and as people passed us by—”They don’t know that I’m a Mom,” I thought.

To some of you, that may sound crazy ;) But to many of you, you’re like, “I get it.”

Once you’re Mom, you’re MOM. And while often you may not think about it because you’re doing the day in and day out and the chores and routine…but do you KNOW how important this role IS?

Enter how I have recently began to feel on sick days. Not my sick days, where I’m feeling like crap and missing MY mom—but the days where fevers are burning my sweet kiddos bodies, their heads are throbbing with headaches, their legs are weak with fatigue, they’re cranky and emotional and exhausted. These days. My heart starts walking outside of my chest and it grasps at their six and seven year old selves. My role as MOM explodes with such uniqueness. I think it was when our kids turned four and five and the baby and toddler days just felt so far behind me; that was when it hit me like a ton of bricks that these days are FLEETING. When they’re sick, who do they want?

Mom.

Dads and husbands, please don’t take offense at this post. Lord knows my kids ADORE their Dad and he is quite literally the BEST Dad there is. Our kids will sit on his lap and rock with him and cuddle, but then it’s time for Mom. The phrase used to be, “Mommy put me down,” when they couldn’t construct great sentences. Now they can actually say, “I love you, Dad. I want Mommy…”

There’s something about being needed isn’t there? Maybe that’s mostly what it is... Having tiny souls want you and need you and love you with all of their being. I kind of laughed as I wrote this out, it sounds so SELFISH. But this blog is really for me to remember how I feel. When our kids are sick, the Mom gene inside of me goes full fledge into overdrive and I’m there for it all. When they wake crying because their fever spikes, my feet fly up the stairs. I hum and sing and stroke their foreheads. I bring fresh cups of ice water and fill their diffusers with all the right blends to make their rooms cozy and clean. There’s something about being MOM on their sick days, that is so fulfilling; that is so valuable. They won’t always need me the way that their little selves do. And I finally understand how my own mom must feel with her daughter living six hours away. Probably like a piece or two of HER heart is outside of her chest… (I wonder if she knows how I FEEL when I am sick?!) When a fever hits me, guess who is the first for me to text and complain to? Yup…my mom!

Also don’t get me wrong—I don’t LIKE when our kids are sick. Heavens, no. I know that there are sicknesses FAR WORSE and more severe than the colds and viruses ours come down with; all I really mean, is that sometimes it is mundane to be Mom, when really there is nothing mundane about it. When they were newborns and then toddlers and were needing me on sick days, it was so different than it is now. It consisted of a lot more HOLDING and rocking and nursing and cuddling. They keep getting older; their legs keep getting longer and more difficult to fit on my lap…they keep becoming more independent.

But they keep needing me. And I pray to God that I NEVER take that for granted.

These thoughts inspired me to create a FREEBIE for YOU. Sign up below to grab my new download, ‘Wellness Support for You & Your Littles.’ Save it, print it, share it, use it. And if you have any questions, always email me! I love hearing from my readers and I am so thankful for ALL of you.

Happy One Year to You, Emma Rose!

From the beginning, we thought Emma would be our Healer. Little did we know how true that would end up being…do you remember when we first got her!? She was seven weeks old and I wrote a post when she was nine weeks, about how wonderful and sweet she was. Well, good news, she STILL is, and never had we have SUCH a cuddly and docile dog. Truthfully I can’t remember a TON about Elsa when she was one year old, but I remember she didn’t crave human touch and cuddling AS much as our little Emma does. It has been so fun to see and watch Emma grow, from a teeny tiny puppy to a gorgeous one year old DOG.

Emma is an English Creme Golden Retriever who we purchased from Cold Spring Mountain Retrievers located in Chuckey, TN. We made it a fun overnight trip with our kids and we came back home with our sweet little girl pup. She has been such a good dog since day but, however we often joke that she is part Humphrey [our chocolate Lab who passed away last spring, whom she adored] and part Elsa [our Golden.] Humphrey loved mischief and he could be pretty sneaky at times…Emma has surprised us a few times with her own curiosity, but she overall, she has been such a trustworthy girl. She does not climb on the furniture, she does not destroy household things [though she did nibble once on our wooden coffee table when she was teething], but frankly, we have been amazed at simply how GOOD she is.

I still swear it’s largely the breed…she and Elsa are the reason that I will ALWAYS want a Golden Retriever. They don’t lick, they don’t jump, they are patient and empathetic, gentle and incredibly loving. When it is muddy outside, Emma knows to sit on a towel right by the door and wait for her paws to be cleaned. When it’s bath time and she is too filthy to just towel down, she knows to go into our shower and she sits and waits to be cleaned up?! Like, HOW?! It makes me giggle thinking about her adorable traits, and ever so grateful that we chose HER.

Flip through the slideshow below to see some of my absolute favorites (though there are so many more, haha. You know me and my picture taking……) xox

She’s a girl with lots of nicknames, one is often Emma Lou. Growing up my childhood dog and best Christmas present EVER, was a white lab who I named Holly Lou. I’m not positive why it was Lou…? But she too, was an ANGEL of a dog. She took to my oldest brother Nathan the most, he has special needs and I think she always just knew. Naturally Emma Lou just flows from my mouth, but she’s lots of names. Emma Rose, Emma Rosie, Emma Lou, Emmie Girl—but the moral of the story is that she has healed in our hearts in so many ways and we are so in love with her fluffy, white, adorable self! Happy first birthday, Emma Rose!

Go to Bed! Except Wait...I Miss You, So Maybe Don't??

Let’s talk about bedtime. No not your bed time or mine, but when OUR kids go to bed. Its like magic once you’ve said the last goodnight, filled the last cup of water and finally… you can breathe. Let’s be honest, my husband and I eat most nights at 9 o’clock at night because we find it more relaxing to enjoy our meal when the kids aren’t around. I know, that’s sad, and fairly unhealthy. But it’s kinda our reality in this busy season. Some days we feel like we are simply SURVIVING until bedtime so that we can finally live. Oh, and when did they start in on begging us to stay up late? Don’t those tiny demons know what they are really asking? Asking me to give up the 2 hours of my day that I get to be irresponsible. Asking me to sacrifice time on my couch, in my sweats, with MY show. No Peppa Pig or stinkin’ Blimpy allowed. Don’t get me started on Blimpy. That guy has to go. (Does he remind you of modern day PeeWee, anyone??)

Our week days start at 6 am, and we give, and work, and serve them and others all day. So 15 hours later, at 9pm, when its finally still and quiet…darnet, I want it still and quiet. Sometimes I wish my husband would recognize that those two hours of quiet isn’t an invitation for sex, nah. It’s simply mommy’s personal quiet and Netflix time. (Heartland anyone??? Just me???)

Ok, in all fairness, this is a wee bit extreme. Maybe I feel this way sometimes. Most days are so long I sincerely can’t WAIT til bedtime. But it never fails, 10-15 minutes of quiet and my mom heart starts to miss them. Starts hoping they are having sweet dreams. My mom heart wants to go snuggle them, kiss them one last time. Because heck yes they are exhausting, but I’d rather be exhausted for this love than anywhere else. The other night I went in and snuggled up next to Reese while she was asleep. I wondered, a.) how creepy would it be for her to wake up and see me staring at her?? and b.) does she know HOW deeply she is loved?? I also prayed, “God, please help her to always be good. To always seek YOU. Lord… PLEASE don’t let her do the stupid shit I used to do before I found Asa.”

And THEN I wondered, “Does anyone else cuss when they pray?!?” I don’t do it REGULARLY, but let’s be real, it happens.

Anyway, I digress. Our kids are 5 and 6 years old currently. People ask if life is ‘easier’ (what does that mean??) now that they’re “older.” No, no it does not mean this. Sometimes life seemed more simple when our daughter was a newborn and our son was a toddler. Now they have opinions and REAL voices and they know how to manipulate and beg and LIE (don’t get me started on that because trust me, that’s a future blog post in of itself….) Right now we are teaching them how to read their Bibles, how to pray, how to treat each other (I feel we’ve always tried to do that…??? But it’s nooooooot working sooooooo maybe someone else should give it a try???) Our days are long. We’re tired. We balance 5 million bajillion things. Sometimes, all we want is bedtime.

Except we don’t. Being a parent might be addicting. How can you be so damn tired, wore out, frustrated, annoyed, impatient, and on the last straw a hundred times…yet, also love being needed SO incredibly much. This is life. Right here, right now. My motherhood. And I suppose it’s safe to say that I love every crazy tiring minute.

August Happenings: It's Been a While

Well it happened again. I went an entire season (almost) without keeping up here and regularly posting/writing. Remember when I launched this blog back in January of 2016? My goal was to have fun with it, write often, document my kids lives, track what's happening, just take NOTE...and it's just NOT happening. That being said, I am praying about getting a better grip again, and for now, I'll write when I can. 

I had babies yesterday, and they're going into kindergarten and first grade next WEEK. If you've ever had any vacation time, you know how hard it is to return back to the workplace after some time off. I've come to the conclusion that it's hard for everyone, not just me. Time off is sweet. It's refreshing and peaceful. Yet it's also crazy, filled with adventure and breaking up *tons* of sibling arguments--around the clock. (I realize now that probably doesn't sound appealing to you whatsoever, but honest to God? I wouldn't trade it.)

May 31st until August 13th, we will have been off. A long [not long enough] time that I am so super grateful for.

So here is where I want to tell you what I love about these crazy beautiful kids I'm blessed to call mine :) 

Pierson: 
Six years old. Earlier this summer, he was absolutely obsessed with all things basketball. He played on his first team ever his kindergarten year, was the youngest on the team, and he finished the season like a champ. He's now in love with baseball, and daily wants to play catch with his dad. Ended kindergarten reading on an upper first grade level, kicked butt on all of his report cards, and was the kid on the highest behavior level (4) ALL school year long. His love language is gift giving, he cuddles in my arms every Sunday at church while we sing hymns, and asks me to tickle his back. His body dangles well past my knees, and it's getting to the point that I am wondering how much longer I'll be able to hold or carry him. Never, right? Promise me NEVER!! He is a good kid, a loyal kid, and I love every ounce of who he is. 

Reese, Reesie-Cup, Reese Elisabeth, Liz, Sis:
4 years old, 5 in just one month, Heaven help me. She got her ears pierced TODAY. We went for a manicure, and had a sweet and special day together. She's turned into my biggest barn helper and sincerely loves our horse. I think her love language is words of affirmation, just like me. She is genuinely interested in hearing about people's day; how a meeting went, or the horses were, or how my ride was at the barn. She loves to learn and color and sing. She seems to be very artistically inclined and has a natural talent for memorizing lyrics. She wants to start gymnastics...so we'll see if that can happen soon. She did her first ballet classes during her preschool year, and while she ended up crying all throughout the very last class, she seemed to enjoy all the others. She is sweet, super cuddly, and doesn't know a stranger. Oh how I adore this girl!! 

This summer has been really, really great. I photographed a wedding in Wisconsin, which was one of the best experiences of my photographing career. We went camping with family at Cumberland Falls here in Kentucky. And we also had a week of staycation, where we visited my brother and his wife in Nashville; we did an overnight stay at the Omni Downtown [more coming on that, ASAP!!!!], and we took the kids to Kentucky Kingdom, the Science Center, and a 'fancy restaraunt.' Also, Paddy and I are doing well, thank you, Jesus! I still have a lot of moments where I get fearful riding him, but he is so good, and so sweet. We have learned and grown a lot in the short four months we've been together! 

What's next? Asa and I start back in the classroom August 13th. I'll have kindergarten and first graders in the morning, fourth and fifth in the afternoon (same as last year.) I'll have the same instructional assistant, which will be great, and I really love the women working on my unit with me. Asa will still be teaching self-contained EBD (emotional behavioral disabilities), and he'll get to see OUR kids daily, which has me uber jealous. What is going on in your life? What has your summer looked like? We'll never forget two summers ago when our kids were literally sick the ENTIRE summer. They had Hand Foot Mouth, Strep, the never ending stomach flu...So we've thanked God OFTEN for good health this season.

 If you've read this, thank you!! I know I am not the best at posting here and I really do want to be better. Thanks for sticking with me and I hope your summer was wonderful!