Why a Beautiful Home Isn't Nonsense

As I've gotten older I have realized that my need for 'stuff' has diminished quite a bit. At one point I wanted brand new wardrobes for each season, and then I quickly discovered that my clothes color pallet exists in this order: greys, earth tones, and more grey. The comfier the outfit the better; give me all the joggers, giant wool cardigans, and an abundance of fuzzy socks and I am GOLDEN. My husband jokes with me that before we were married I would say, "Beauty is pain," (WHO made up that quote?!) and now I fully admit that I actually believe beauty is COMFORT. 

I once had a friend though, that made me feel so terrible about the fact that I wanted to have things. That and drying or straightening my hair/wearing makeup, she called me 'high maintenance.' The literal definition of that adjective is 'needing a lot of work to keep in good condition.' Demanding, challenging, difficult, hard to please--all synonyms of high maintenance. I remember asking Asa, "Am I high maintenance because I want to do my hair before photos?" and he'd say, "No, there is nothing wrong with wanting that." I would talk to her about my desire to have a big beautiful house, two stories, and in it, beautiful things. She would remind me that she didn't 'need' anything; if it were up to her, she'd live in a tiny house and have the bare minimum within it. There was nothing wrong with her desires. But there was largely something wrong with the way I felt most times after hanging out with her.

Over the years and having lots of space between us, I have grown up quite a bit (thank you, Jesus). There isn't anything wrong with me wanting to do my hair, or putting on makeup. It doesn't make me less of a free woman that I often do those two things. My husband and I started our lives in a dirty, one bedroom, dark apartment. Our second wasn't much of an upgrade, but definitely brighter and better than the first. Our first home was beautiful; a restored 1900 bungalow with character that spoke to every person who walked in the front entry. While we searched for the newest home that we are currently it, we both agreed that it needed to LOOK nice. We thought we wanted a fixer-upper, but we didn't. We wanted open, bright, with lots of natural light, and it had to be two stories [my request.] We yearned for a place to host, to gather our people--friends and family that would eat around our table and laugh by the fireplace. 

I recently started Jen Hatmaker's newest book 'Of Mess and Moxie,' and friends, within it she spoke my heart. I often wondered how to put into words what I felt about owning beautiful things or having a gorgeous house, and by golly, she wrote them. 

"Dear one, may I say something? It is not shallow or empty or frivolous to create a beautiful space to live in. It's not silly, not vainglorious, not a waste of time and energy. It doesn't make you superficial nor slides you down the godly scale. We spend the majority of our hours in our homes with our people. Creating beauty and nurture under your roof with colors that soothe, art that inspires, furniture that invites, and textures that thrill is a wonderful use of your small space on the planet" (67). 

If where you want to live is in a high rise in the city, by all means, live that dream. And if your heart longs and loves large and open spaces, sister, you do YOU. We shouldn't make each other feel bad when the desire in our hearts is joy and happiness. We shouldn't label our friends by what they wear or don't wear, eat or don't eat. Jen also says this, which duh, I love: 

"Home is the scene of so much love and happiness, community and pot roasts. It is where you invite people in and say, 'You are so welcome in this place.' It is the reel our children will replay in memory of the leather chair you read in, the farmhouse table you shared, the braided rug where you played eleventy-billion games of Chutes and Ladders. It is your little corner of the earth, entirely. YOURS to make lovely. In a world increasingly dominated by fear and violence and isolation and loneliness, you can claim restoration under your roof, where people are nurtured and loved and fed and embraced, where God reigns and hope is spoken..." (70)

I love that Jesus has intertwined mine and Asa's hearts in that we both love people and more than that, we love gathering with them. I don't like to cook, but he does! And I find joy in cleaning, dusting, and rearranging things like candles and flowers. We love having a beautiful home that has TONS of light, inviting furniture [seriously, thank you Havertys], and there's no shame in the fact that I think white walls are calming. More significantly than the beauty that exists here, Jen was so right when she talks about nourishing and caring for our little ones here. My number one job is to love and serve my husband but ALSO to train up my children to follow and serve the Lord. "Making your home pretty is nice," she writes, "but making it nourishing is holy" (70).

I don't want you to think for a minute though, that the home we chose is perfect or that it has to BE perfect to be beautiful. I actually often talk in the future tense, "In our next home I want to do this differently or add this or change this," because I don't believe this is our forever home. I still long for acreage and horses surrounding the greenery around me, but my heart is happy here, for now. I actually have a gorgeous blue velvet couch that I only once dreamt about. I have a matching console and cocktail table. I have an eight-foot farmhouse table where a TON of people gathered for Thanksgiving. And I LOVE that Jen Hatmaker mentioned how God created the wildflowers and waterfalls and pine trees and hummingbirds and warm sand and mountain ranges and tulips; because He very clearly doesn't think that beauty is nonsense (67). "If God decided to make his whole earth pretty, we can choose to make our little homes pretty without tension, guilt, or shame." For us, we choose beauty to bring people to gather. Our home isn't huge, but it's open and our table is large. 

May we never forget our dream of hosting and creating, regardless of where we end up next. (Please be on land, please be on land, please be on land!) And may YOU believe that where you are and what you dream about is beautiful too. 

*Please don't allow anyone else's negative comments or shaming hurt you. You were created with visions and dreams, passions and talents. It's an ongoing battle that I continue to go forward with comments that have hurt me, but time has been a healing agent and I just want you to know that YOU are wonderful!!!*

Gather with Havertys: Finger Food+ Charcuterie Style

Sometimes fancy meals and extensive dinners are fun, but other times you crave simplicity. This past Sunday we had so much fun sitting on the floor, eating in our newly designed living room (thank you, Havertys!!!), and laughing with dear friends. My husband enjoyed choosing the foods for this meal, and my big requests were pesto, a fresh baguette, and a variety of cheeses. Guess what, Y'all? He did NOT disappoint!! 

I've had so many compliments on this cocktail table from Havertys, so go ahead and click here to see more details. It definitely served us well this warm autumn afternoon. We had refreshing cranberry mock-tails mixed with Asa's homemade simple syrup--keep reading for the recipe! 

We did a mix of charcuterie boards and antipasto. Fresh baguettes, peppered salami, roasted red peppers, Swiss cheese, gruyere, prosciutto, grapes, sun-dried tomatoes, (I may have begged for a cheese ball) fresh mozzarella (aka HEAVEN), and, you betcha--pesto! Ha ha!  

Oh, you see that NAVY BLUE SOFA up there behind all that delectable food? Don't worry--you can have one too! Click here to check it out, and remember, you can design your dreams away with H Designers through Havertys, and ALL the employees are super helpful. And the insanely plush and comfy rug that my sweet senior dog is on? Check that here! 

We try to have special Sunday meals regularly throughout the month, and to make them a really memorable event. It's one of my favorite days of the week because all of this, right here, is unforgettable. What you can't hear through the photos is our son Pierson writing letters to Santa and asking us how to spell certain words. And our daughter Reese laughing and walking around with her backpack on, getting ready for 'work.' 

It's always a good day when the kids enjoy the food too--and as you can see, ours did. There was one dilemma... all of the animals felt that the table was perfectly at THEIR level? So keeping them away was quite the struggle. Don't judge me on this photo below ;) 

The rest of the afternoon was spent pretty much outdoors, or else running up and down the stairs and playing all sorts of silly games. One of Pierson's favorites is to dangle his legs out of the banister to get Asa to jump up and grab them. The living room has been our spot, where we sit and mingle and talk and catch up. It's also where we ended the night to start The Grinch; truth be told the weekend had me exhausted and my KIDS had me exhausted--and just sitting in quiet to watch a Christmas movie was really divine. (#momlife)

Okay, and now for the sweet twist to this blog post: Asa's Cranberry Simple Syrup Recipe: 

-Combine 1 cup of sugar, and 1/2 a cup of water.
-Bring to a boil. Add in 6oz of fresh cranberries, and the juice from two oranges.
-Toss in the whole oranges (rind and all). Add 1 tbsp cinnamon, and 1 tsp each clove and allspice. Simmer until thickened.
-Pour everything in a blender and let her rip. Strain the pulp reserving the syrup for your mocktail.  
-For the mocktail fill your shaker with ice. Its very important you shake this drink. Add in 1oz of the cranberry simple syrup, and 4 oz of sprite or club soda. (I suppose you could always add a little rum or bourbon it that's your thing.) Shake well.
-Serve with a little twist of orange. 

Now I'd love to hear from YOU! What is your favorite FOOD memory; it can entail something that you cooked, your mom cooked, or that you would die to know HOW to cook. And you know that I adore Shauna Niequist, so I'm leaving you with one of her endearing quotes: 

"Gather the people you love around your table and feed them with love and honesty and creativity. Feed them with your hands and the flavors and smells that remind you of home and beauty and the best stories you’ve ever heard, the best stories you’ve ever lived."

Terrific Tacos + Sweet Sundays

I am kind of convinced that Shauna Niequist is my spirit animal (can another human BE another human's spirit animal?!) She said, "If the home is the body, the table is the heart, the beating center, the sustainer of life and health." If you think about it, where does MOST of your household's laughter come from? Sure, there are sweet family walks, backyard sports, board games, and if you're anything like mine--the tickle parties that ensue nightly; but truly, isn't most of it around the table? I am blessed to have married a man who not only loves to cook, but one who loves to bless PEOPLE by his cooking. This particular Sunday we declared a taco night, and had some amazing friends over to enjoy the meal with us.

Do you see the darling table runner in these photos? Our 9-year old niece Lily who lives in Rhode Island made it by hand for us!!! She even embroidered a sweet little message on the back of it. Maybe you've made a table runner before (for an 8-foot table?) but I haven't, so I'm clearly very impressed. 

We've known Kris and Lisa for a long time, and Lisa even used to babysit the kids for quite a long time! They were the ones who introduced us to our new church, and I am so glad that we all go there. The kids loved playing games and showing them their new rooms, Sundays like this one make me so happy! 

Tim made the carnitas (pulled pork) and it was delicious. We had guacamole, bean dip, salsa, and lots of chips, obviously ;) Team work makes the dream work, and that's always so evident on these get-togethers! 

In today's devotion that I read, Shauna writes: "When we consider how many stories in the Bible involve food, perhaps its not something to be treated so lightly as we often do." Reclaim the table. Invite others in. Laugh, talk, and enjoy being real with the people you love. Gather. And tell me all about it. You can comment below your favorite mealtime memories or send me an e-mail. I'm so thankful not only for the people locally I have relationships with, but also here in this space. You all make what I do SO much better, and I believe community happens everywhere--not just where you live.