The Christmas Blues: Do you Have Them Too?

It’s okay to not be okay. It’s a familiar feeling at times, as my kids are getting older...Christmas Eve comes (out of NOWHERE), and the day is generally sweet and magical. And then it’s gone. Christmas Day comes (even quicker) and the presents are opened, trash picked up, and the emptiness under the tree just stares at me. It’s not about the gifts (or the lack thereof), it’s just the reminder that the Holiday has come and gone, once again...and when it returns in a year, my kids will be even older, and things may be less magical. 

In the silence of our house on December 25th, with the kids and even my husband sound asleep...I look at the dark tree, and the fireplace that doesn’t have a fire blazing within it. (It needs to be cleaned from the day before, and our tree lights were on a timer that I didn’t feel like turning back on.) It was dark. It was quiet. And I sat there reflecting on the day. Could it have been better? Was I wrong to get the kids iPads when I already loathe screen time anyway? Did I keep my patience the best that I could? Did I share the gospel of Jesus WELL enough with my family? 

December 26th comes...I finally sleep in. My body apparently finally relaxed and I slept soundly until 10:30 in the morning. (Thank God for a husband who wakes earlier and who doesn’t mind his wife sleeping in…) I pour a cup of coffee and immediately just feel--OFF. Not mad, not sad, not angry, not happy, not anything, just off. I look around and while we’ve done a pretty great job at keeping clutter/messes to a minimum, I am even more frustrated by the clumps of Golden Retriever hair floating in the corners and (very few) dishes in the sink. I checked the temperatures outside often, wondering whether I should run outside or not...if I should go to the barn and ride, or not. Ultimately I decided to get into warm running attire and head out. I prayed my knee could handle it, that my lungs wouldn’t burn too much from the cold, and that I could do at least six miles. With the music in my ears, I took deep breaths and I took off. The pavement underneath me felt like a punching bag for my feet. With every mile, I felt lighter, and lighter, more accomplished, more okay. 

Half way through the run I paused on a bridge that overlooked a mostly frozen creek. I thanked God for my strength, for legs that can so far do this, and for loving me, even when I feel unlovable. The day has generally and still feels OFF for me. The run was great, I feel thankful to have gotten it done...but my brain is still trying to figure out what it’s thinking. I mean really; I can’t stop thinking about my businesses, what more I can do for them, about school or work starting back in a week, about motherhood and if I’m doing alright? 

This post is a conundrum post. I can’t explain how I’m feeling, not well anyway. So I guess the moral of it is that I feel like at least one person reading this may be feeling something similar, and I think it’s okay. It’s okay to have the Christmas Blues--that’s what I’m declaring this. The twinkly lights will soon be taken down, the tree put away, and while you may be wondering why that matters? I mean, you may not be a Christmas lover like me, so it might not seem like a huge deal. But it’s bigger than Christmas I think...I think it’s the letdown of the beautiful anticipation that December has been to me. And I’ve said it before...I’m struggling in this current season of motherhood and I am trying so hard to pray and trust and to find contentment in the stages that my children are in. 

I sit here and remember their first, second, third, fourth Christmases...when your son doesn’t come into the living room and say, “That’s from Target!” about his Santa gift...when their hands and wrists still had those baby dimples in them. When you were able to rock them in rocking chairs while you stared at the twinkly lights, thinking back then, maybe you were excited for them to be a bit older and bigger and to need you a little less. 

The Christmas Blues. Does this make sense? Mamas...can you feel this tonight? I’m hitting POST, and praying as I do. Tomorrow is a new day. New strength, new thoughts, new memories, new laughter, and more love. If you needed this post, will you let me know? Email me or comment below. I’d love to give you a virtual hug and be here in this walk of adulting and parenting with you. 

A Much Needed Cheerful Holiday Bucket List

It’s here, it’s here, it’s really here! Hot cocoa, Hallmark movies, Buddy the Elf, Christmas lights, and pajamas! Oh wait…we’ve been living in pajamas haven’t we?! But not matching CHRISTMAS jammies!! So since our city is still largely in the middle with shut downs and re-opening and should we be out or not out; we are just thankful we don’t really have to leave the home to do some of the sweetest things on our Holiday Bucket List!

What are some things YOU want to do this Holiday season to make it special and memorable for your family? Christmas cookies always seem to make SUCH a mess, as do gingerbread houses, but it’s the best for capturing photos and documenting life where we are. And Target has the cutest supplies for at home hot cocoa bars with toppings and flavors galore, so I’m super pumped to check that one off our list!

This past weekend we took our Christmas card photo and it’s the first year ever we took it ourselves. We set up the trusty tripod (which wasn’t trusty at all because my camera actually fell off at the beginning, oh my word….) and did a mini shoot for ourselves. Y’all, I couldn’t be happier with how they turned out and I have to say that our Golden Retrievers are the best model dogs on the planet. Here! See some for yourselves!

Unfortunately Target was out of stock of the size Emma needed and get this—I had been wanting to take a matching Christmas pj photo for years. Well this year I ordered them and got the photos, but most of them don’t fit! Asa’s shirt sleeves were wayyyyy too short, Pierson’s pajama pants were four feet too long, and Reese’s nightgown was more like a mini skirt. But hey! We got the photos!! (HA!)

So let’s talk movies! We’ve watched Jingle all the Way, Jingle Jangle, Elf, National Lampoon’s Family Christmas, Christmas Chronicles, and Christmas Chronicles 2. THERE ARE SO MANY MORE TO WATCH!!

And friends, for a brief moment of seriousness, we know that during a global pandemic, all is not necessarily CALM, right? My recommendation for ALL of us, is to do things that bring JOY to our families and to the people around us. If you can hang outdoor Christmas lights, do it! Lightness will always overcome the dark, and I want to encourage you to brighten someone else’s mood during these particularly dark times.

Here is a free bucket list graphic if y’all want to use it to get your Holiday ideas flowing. Tag me if you use it anywhere on social media, I would love to see your lists! You can find me HERE on Instagram and HERE on Facebook. Happy Holidays at Home, sweet friends!

Christmas in July and Why it was a Must This Year

2020. The year that will never end, right?? From a global pandemic, and systemic racial oppression, a tanking economy, fear and uncertainty, and everything in-between...this has been a tough year for everyone. (Oh yeah, and flippin Murder Hornets? They were a thing too.) We left our classrooms in March not knowing what in the world would be next, and come August, we will return to school once again…online. The kids miss their friends, their teachers, socializing, and let’s face it, we honestly miss the normal work routine as well and being able to mingle with our co-workers. There has been tension, stress, a lot of unknowns, and a LOT of sadness and negativity flooding social media.

We decided it was time for something happy.
We decided that Christmas in July was a must this year.
…so we did it!
Once the kids went to sleep on July 23rd Asa got out some of our Christmas decorations and we (he..) got to work.

We set our alarms on the 24th and woke before the kids did. Reese is usually the first to wake right at 8am and she was right on time ‘Christmas Eve’ morning. As we drank our coffee and beamed up at her, she was SO confused. As soon as she came around the corner and actually saw the Christmas trees with presents underneath, she sprinted to Pierson’s room and excitedly woke him up. Their reactions were priceless and the joy in our home felt like a warm blanket. They looked at the presents (they each got a total of seven) and then we sat on the couch to watch Christmas movies (starting with Curious George’s Christmas that they have loved since they were toddlers.) Our plans were to spend the next two days together as a family (not that we haven’t had a ton of just family time), but to be more intentional with the things we did; baking cookies, cooking, coloring, decorating, creating, movies together, and big holiday like meals. We had Asa’s mama over as she typically joins us Christmas Eve, and after dinner Asa read the Birth of Jesus to all of us and then we watched a Christmas Story. We baked Gingerbread cookies with a Lemon Cream Cheese Frosting, and earlier in the day we went to Lotsa Pasta to get fresh ravioli for the next night’s dinner. The home was just the right amount of Christmas decor—and the whole mood of the house just felt so peaceful.

On July 25th we had breakfast and then let the kids open their gifts. Again, they got 7 each, and we wrapped things separately like paint by itself, paintbrushes, canvas’s, and then Reese got a couple of dresses and Pierson got a couple of new pairs of shoes. It wasn’t about the presents or spoiling the kids—this was all to create a happy memory for all of us for what has been such a tough and challenging year.

I diffused our Christmas Spirit oil in ALL our diffusers around the clock the entire two days. When we say it smells like ‘Christmas in a bottle,’ we totally mean it. It’s a little spicy, a tad sweet, and just smells completely heavenly. (Want it for yourself? Leave a comment here and I’ll hook you up!) Overall, we highly recommend participating in Christmas in July yourself. You don’t have to go BIG, you don’t have to set up a ginormous tree, just make it what you want and how you want! We used our porch tree from Treetopia and the pre-lit garland that we had from the same company. I had a lot of people message me and say they wanted to do this but it seemed like so much work; my husband will tell you it probably took him an hour start to finish [he is the speedy decorator, again, he is kin to Buddy the Elf so it’s just in his blood,] and he would also tell you it was completely 1000% worth it. August is around the corner, online school will be happening at LEAST the first six weeks (let’s face it.. probably longer..) and we are just praying we can take it ALL in stride and that everyone can stay healthy and happy.