This is 33

This is 33.

12:30a.m. writing this post. When I’m supposed to be long asleep (as my husband is….) Six a.m. will come too quickly, and it’ll be the first time in a little over a YEAR, for me to work IN person, WITH actual people. Tomorrow I go back, and the thought is incredibly surreal. March 13, 2020 I walked out of my classroom, as did most of the world (Kentucky at the very least) and I had no idea what was coming.

For my 32nd birthday we booked a cabin in the woods and thought we would have just a ‘few weeks’ at home. Little did we know, right? We celebrated with lots of hiking, confetti cinnamon rolls, and Asa zoomed his family through his laptop to wish me a happy birthday. I remember being SO weirded out at that, a zoom call?! HA HA!!! It’s been the literal story of my life for a YEAR. Yours too, probably…

“How old do you feel?” I’ve been asked. And you know what… I have NO idea!! Is there actually an age that you feel right now? I’m super curious. I guess if I had to really dwell on it, I still feel like I’m in my twenties, but in a much BETTER way. While I still have insecurities and anxieties, they don’t compare to what twenty-something Ashley used to feel. I have been brushing things off a lot better these days, not hyper-focusing on things that just do not matter. Birthdays are always contemplative for me, so I wanted to share just a few things that I believe I’ve learned and become:

-My time is valuable. I work a full time job and a lot of ‘side’ jobs. I have several businesses and I spend a lot of time WORKING. But the days are fleeting, my kids are growing up SO fast, and I believe with each year that passes, I am reminded that we aren’t guaranteed a set number of days here on Earth. Therefore? I want my yes’s to count, and my no’s to count too. Time is valuable, and I want to make sure that I don’t waste mine.

-It’s OKAY to work and it’s okay to want to make extra income. I have a very big dream (yes, still!) of owning land and being in our forever home surrounded by open spaces. Getting there on two teacher salaries probably isn’t super feasible, so I enjoy being a multi-passionate entrepreneur and working hard to TRY to win a shot at my big dreams. I’m also incredibly grateful to have a husband who is willing to dream alongside me, even though many days I drive him up a wall ;)

-Taking medication for mental wellness is OKAY. I’m sorry, but how many people dealt with more stress and worries and anxiety the last YEAR then quite possibly ever before?! Sometime last summer (I think summer??) my favorite cat was diagnosed with diabetes. That’s a LONG story, but it was the straw that broke my back for a while. We lost our senior dogs back to back, and then we legitimately thought we were losing Manny. I spoke with my doctor and told her I felt my head was spinning constantly, I was having such obsessive and neurotic thoughts and I couldn’t even enjoy LIFE because I was stressing over him ALL THE TIME. Really, Ashley, over a damn cat you got put on anxiety meds? Yup. SHO DID. A baby dose at that, (a friend jokes with me that it was a placebo) and I stopped taking it within a few months (after his diabetes went into remission, like WHAT?!) but I LEARNED that it was OKAY. And if I ever feel I need to be back on it? That’s okay too.

-I’m not for everyone. And that is OKAY. I have been told by more people than I can count now that they are going to ‘unfollow me.’ I have been deleted and blocked on Facebook by family members and I’m sure on Instagram as well and you know what…? That’s okay!! While I may not understand it (I’m a huge advocate for two ways conversations, not one sided judgements) I absolutely encourage everyone to make the decisions that are best for THEM. Okay what I REALLY want to say and I’m going to because it’s my birthday: “No need to announce your exit but regardless, don’t let the door hit you on your way out!” ;)

-Patience. The past year especially has taught me this fruit of the spirit immensely. We couldn’t DO anything the last twelve months. We couldn’t go anywhere. We couldn’t change the circumstances. All we could do was figure out the best way to make our life a happy one and to try our best to love one another, EVERY single day. Teaching from home, our kids learning from home, trying to run my other businesses from home and not being able to GO OUT and take photos (a big part of my living)….PATIENCE.

-Still a night owl. I would rather work until three o’clock in the morning than go to bed at a decent hour and wake up earlier. Nope, nope, nope. I am obviously still a night owl (almost 1 a.m. and my alarm will be going off in five hours. Ouch.)

-I’m a decent runner. Last June I started running more consistently again, and as I began to increase my miles, I decided I wanted to run a mini marathon of my own. The one I ran in 2017 was a horrendous experience for me (the aftermath especially), and I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to do it again…but sure enough, January 30th, when my sweet sister in law was laboring with my nephew in Nashville, I ran 13.2 miles all on my own in the very freezing cold. THIS time I had trained more appropriately, and while I ran I kept thinking, “If she can have a baby, I can keep running.” HA, same thing, right, Beth?? (Lord bless my sister in law, y’all; that’s also another story for another time but she is SUCH a fricken warrior and we are so glad Johnny is here!)

-Jesus > me. The hurt in the world is too vast for me to try to make sense of, but if there’s one thing I have learned over the past year especially, it is that Jesus is bigger than ME. And guess what, He is bigger than YOU too. I do not care what church you attend or that you were a part of, if they are not actively seeking and representing JESUS. Not religion, not rules, not traditions or customs, I want JESUS. And because currently my Asian friends and family and my African American friends and family STILL are questioning whether or not they are worthy and loved!? I am begging for JESUS to be bigger than the noise and hurt. I am praying so hard for Light to overcome the Darkness and that for me personally, I will show light and love to all.

I’m sure there’s more that I could write and expand on, but really this is a pretty good picture of what I look like at 33. Not physically as in the photo above, just who I am. Thirty-two was a good year; a weird one, but good. I was able to stay home with my family every single day…for a year. I pray my kids look back on our time together fondly. That I didn’t yell too much or seem too busy. I hope that they look back and remember our time around the table, the card games, the meals, the walks in the woods and fields with our dogs, the movie nights in our family room, the laughter and the cuddling.

Being a wife and mom is an incredible honor for me and I don’t take it lightly. Here’s to another year around the sun, friends. Let’s see what this one brings…!

How to Create and Enjoy Your Outdoor Space

I don't know about you, but I basically live for all things outdoor. I thoroughly embrace each season (okay, that's a lie...I think I hate winter!!) so when they shift and each one makes room for more opportunities spent outside, I take every chance! When we moved into our new house last summer, the first thing we noticed was how empty the back deck felt. We already had a gazebo with globe lighting, but I dreamt of outdoor furnituture; preferably some that I could comftorably lounge and get sleepy on. We knew that realistically we couldn't afford to buy anything (buying a brand new house is *kinda* pricey all on its' own.....) so we waited until the time was right. 

See this sectional? You better believe this is where I do the majority of my ME time. Sometimes I let my husband join me... kidding, kidding, kidding! We spend a LOT of time talking and cuddling right there. I remember the first night he set this all up. It was still cool and crisp outside (not 103 degrees as it CURRENTLY is) and we completely dozed off under that Opalhouse blanket. Thank you, Target, for generating a brand new line that basically resembles Anthro, but is way more affordable, am I right, Girls?! 

All of the pillows can be found yet this season at Target. The long rectangular one is not technically an 'outdoor pillow,' nor is the throw, but I decided to risk it anyway. They didn't have many options that I loved that are considered 'outdoors,' so when it rains I just do my best to grab them and put them on our living room couch. 

The sectional is an amazing Amazon find! It is seriously SO comfortable and very easily washable. It IS considered an outdoor couch, so yay. It came with the table, and we went with the Nature Brown option. Honestly the table came broken, with a piece of wood split open on the side. We decided to fix it ourselves instead of shipping it back, and Amazon was great to refund us $100 for the trouble. 

The two side chairs were also purchased on Amazon, but are technically Walker Edison Furniture pieces. They came in a set of two, and while the wood doesn't match 100%, it's very, very close and looks great with the sectional. We love that we can host 6+ people easily on this patio, because one of our biggest passions is gathering and fellowshiping with our friends and family. It's not just us who love lounging in this space, clearly our pets spend a lot of time here as well. Our grey cat, Manny, starts to howl around 6 in the morning to be let out and when I actually get UP for the day, I always smile when I see him curled up in a ball either on the couch or in the circular tray on the table.

My biggest advice for designing your outdoor space, is to create it around your family's needs. Sure, cute things are great, but they're not always functional. We made sure that we had a couch large enough that we could host, but made sure to choose one that could be cleaned and would [hopefully] last a long time. The outdoor rug is also easily sprayed off, and can still be found at Target.  

Pops of color are always great in a neutral space, which is why I went with the Opalhouse line of products that I did. I am obsessed with those salmon, and light pinks, and they look great on that cream colored sectional! And lastly, I am a firm believer that fresh flowers make *every* space better and more appealing. So at least whenever we host or plan to spend a few hours on the deck, I like to buy some and fill a vase. 

I would love to know what your dream deck looks like! Or what projects you're currently working on! I am so grateful to have this space and look forward to many cozy nights spent outside because of it. 

Feels Like Home: Master Bedroom Progress

Well, we're here! Apparently I'm really good at writing posts and then taking long breaks, but we've had a pretty good excuse. We are all moved in and settled at our brand new home, and with as many questions as I've had for our master bedroom and furniture and decor used, I thought now was the perfect time to share with y'all. 

I loved our bedroom in our first home. It had three giant windows that overlooked a beautiful park, and the natural light was to die for. The first thing that I noticed when we walked through our new home, was that the master was beige. It's not that beige is bad [it's not!] it's just that it isn't me. I take a LOT of lifestyle photography in our bedroom, as well as boudoir, and I'm trusted by a lot of people and clients to use the space to produce great photos. So, the day after we moved in, our trusty painter came early in the morning and got started. He used Sherwin William's Snowbound, and three coats later, it looks exactly as I had dreamt it would. 

I wouldn't call the room 'complete' by any means. But it's at a great point that I can show you what we've done thus far, and I'll continue to update you as time goes on. High on my next must have, are matching and modern lamps. The one on the left is an antique Aladdin lamp that my dad has had since he was in his twenties; the one on the right is my great grandmothers. Both are beautiful, but I think they could be used elsewhere in the home (once we get new ones). 

The photo above was taken shortly after our Golden Elsa was home from minor surgery. She had a wart and small tumor removed (ouch!) and she was so tired, I decided not to finish making the entire bed. Ha, I'm a sucker for these fur kids. Anyway. Let me show you some more! 

We had a house warming party this weekend (yesterday!) and so many people said, "You bought a new dresser" when they walked in our bedroom. Nope!! We didn't. We've had this dresser our entire marriage, it's been in my husband's family forever. Before we moved out of our first home, he said, "What if we painted it with the exterior paint that's here?" At first I was skeptical, first of all, the paint was pretty old (probably a big no no in professionals worlds?) but I am thrilled with how it turned out. We purchased new knobs from Lowe's, and their finish is just beautiful.

The round mirror is something that I have wanted for years. Thank God for Instagram and the saving ability; I have had SO many photos saved of this mirror and as soon as the bedroom was painted, the rest of the room just started to flow. It's a Target find, of course, and I went to two different stores across town just to get it. It's currently 5% off now and you can get it online, so for all you who've asked, grab yours quick! 

 The I Choose You print is completely custom and from Dear Lily Mae. The quote is near and dear to my heart, and means a lot to my husband and I. We have it tattooed on our arms, so having it over our bed just made perfect sense. 

The curtains we actually switched with Reese, they used to be in her old room. I love how the gray and white simple design goes with the space. The bedding currently on the bed is from Boll and Branch, by far one of the greatest companies I've been blessed to partner with. The duvet is so soft, (Elsa clearly agrees) and we love using it.

Currently the room is simple, yet elegant, which is exactly how I had envisioned. I think there's some room to tweak and re-arrange, and over time we may get some accent chairs for some extra sitting space. Every day I wake up and open the curtains and my heart is so happy. My husband hung a hummingbird feeder and bird feeder on the deck which is right outside one of the windows, so often while I get ready I see my new bird friends enjoying their treats. It feels like home, and I feel abundantly blessed. 

**Thanks for following along, y'all! If you have any other questions, feel free to shoot me an email or leave a comment in the space below! Happy designing!**