The Beloved Woman

beloved allison

It's been a while since I've written for this series and having launched it in December, it seems surreal to somehow now be in the month of May! Loving and celebrating women is something that I am extremely passionate about, largely because I've realized that with social media especially, we {women} have a tendency to slip quietly behind the scenes and watch what everyone else is doing. We often feel not as important, or less than the world around us. That's why I started this series: The Beloved Woman. Because I want you to read the words of your sisters and know that even though you may not personally know these women, they are with you. They have been through so much of what you have; this is a place to share your voice. Here is where I want my friends and readers to know YOU. Where you are front and center, no longer behind the scenes. Here is where I want you to feel appreciated, noticed, deeply loved: beloved.

I am excited to share a dear friend of mine with you today, Allison Grubbs. I have known her amazing photographer husband, Billy, through word of mouth in Louisville and through Facebook. A while ago I decided that I also needed to know his wife. I had seen some of her posts because Billy would be tagged in them. I saw right away that she was such a strong woman, and that she had a story and testimony that needed to be shared. Allison, now 27, was diagnosed with endometriosis at the age of 22, and it is with such eagerness that I introduce you to this brave sister of mine. 

A little bit about Allison: 

"I am originally from Pennsylvania, but moved to Louisville KY at a young age. Now I live in a quirky 100+ year old home in the Highlands with my husband and our crazy Goldendoodle, Sunday. My husband, Billy Grubbs, is a film photographer and owner of State Film Lab. As for me, I have worked as a hairstylist for 8 years and I just completed my first year of nursing school at Spalding University. I’ll be spending my summer working as a Women’s Health Nurse Extern at Baptist Health Louisville. It’s been a long time coming (like seriously, I’ve been working on my Bachelor’s degree off and on for 6+ years!), but the plan is to graduate in June 2018 with a Bachelor’s in Science and Nursing degree. Upon graduation, I will be continuing on with Baptist Health as an RN, and the goal is to specialize in Women’s Health nursing.

I asked Allison, "When do feel the most beautiful?" I think this can be a challenging question for us ladies to answer, because we fear of coming across vain or narcissistic. But when I ask my sisters this, I mean feeling beautiful inside AND out. I love asking them to figure out when they feel beautiful, without necessarily a reason. It's not always when our hair and makeup is done or we are dressed all fancy for a date, and I loved her response. Allison said,  

"I have come to learn that a person finds their true beauty when they are doing whatever it is that fills them up to their core. So at the risk of sounding complete cliché, I feel most beautiful when I am serving and taking care of others. This was instilled in me at a young age being that my grandmother and great aunt both had Limb Girdle Muscular Dystrophy. Taking care of someone is all that I have ever know, and it’s the one thing that comes to me so naturally. It’s the thing that fills me up to my core."

Allison has an incredibly humbling story about her journey with endometriosis, and she has such a heart for women and couples who struggle with this. I asked what her heart beats for; her biggest passions and dreams and she said:

"After being diagnosed with Endometriosis at the age of 22 and watching the disease strip me of my own fertility, one of my greatest passions in life is to educate and encourage other women who are silently suffering with diseases like endometriosis and infertility. Since our failed IVF treatment last March, I have been on a year long “break” from trying to conceive, and have been able to redirect my attention away from fertility to instead focus more on my nursing career. If I’m being honest, it has been so nice to step away from it all because it consumed my every thought for years. Of course, Billy and I long for a family. We can envision what our life would look like with a baby, and even though we have had 4 ½ years to process it, I’m sure we will still be totally unprepared, but our hearts will be so, so full."

In one of her recent Instagram posts, Allison shared a piece of heart with one of her miscarriages: 

"04.25.17 marked 3 years since our first miscarriage. 
This locket holds one out of the three mere moments in my life that my body has sustained a life other than my own. That pitiful little sprout that's barely hanging on is from a Forget-Me-Not seed that I planted in remembrance of that tiny soul that left all too quickly. 
I can remember that day so vividly. Every painful contraction, every tear shed. It's a grief stricken memory that I never want to watch fade, because it's likely the most raw and pure emotion-filled moment I will live to see. But now I don't only look back and see my deep chest-caving-in sadness that I griped tightly onto for so long. Instead I see a messy start to a beautifully knitted testimony, one that God intricately pieced together, specifically for me. So for you my little one, I am endlessly thankful."

I have not personally gone through anything like what Allison and Billy have endured, however I am sure many of you reading this have, or know someone who has. I asked her what she would like to encourage you with and she replied: 

"I would tell them that they are not alone in their sufferings. Infertility is the loneliest of places, and it’s so incredibly easy to get wrapped up in your own sadness. You have to sit back and watch everyone around you get what you have been fighting like hell for. You become desperate, frustrated, obsessive, bitter, jealous, and just plain sad. These emotions are completely normal, you have to grieve the fact that you may never be able to conceive the baby that you have spent years longing for, the one who has mommy’s eyes and daddy’s nose. So take time to throw yourself a little pity party, replenish those empty spaces, and move on knowing that God is working tirelessly during your waiting. Let your struggles drive and motivate you, and empower other women to do the same by being brave enough to share your story, and do this utterly unashamed. Stick with it so that you have a story to tell, one about how you managed to overcome your adversities, and how somewhere in between the spaces, you found your full potential to be the beautifully strong woman that God intricately designed you to be."

On Father's Day of last year, Allison had shared this little blurb about Billy, and it just absolutely made me tear up thinking of my own husband, who is a dad of two littles. The strength in her words, and the faith that she holds for her Creator is just really humbling. I'd like to think that I would be as faithful and trusting as she is, and at the same time, I'm a little ashamed to think that I might not be.

"Celebrating this guy on Father's Day and every day! He is beyond supportive in every aspect of my life. He has been there since the beginning...from my endometriosis diagnosis, multiple surgeries and scares, negative tests month after month, heartbreak when we lost our babies, each painful injection for IVF, and the list goes on. He continues to be strong and encouraging for us, and our future family. I am not in this journey alone...he goes through the motions of infertility just like me, and stands tall by my side. Some of the most special fathers are the ones who have to endure losing their babies before they ever get to meet them. He is, and will be, the best father in the world..." 

Sisters and friends, wherever you are reading from, please know that I appreciate you. The love and support you've given towards this blog and my writing, this series, and my work--I am so grateful. If you would like to follow along with Allison's journey, you can find her Instagram account here. She and Billy are in continuous prayer, and I know YOUR prayers and encouragement would mean the world to them. 

Please take a few seconds to comment below and give Allison some love! This woman holds so much love in her heart for SO many people, I really am blessed to know and call her friend. 

beloved lisa

Some of you are going to be coming to this post wondering, 'what is the beloved woman series?' So before we dive in, let me tell you a little about it.

In an interview once, a woman asked me, "What do you wish you could tell childhood Ashley?" It was a question that really stumped me. I felt flustered and nervous and like I could probably tell little kid Ashley a million different helpful things, but spilling out of my mouth was this:

"I would tell her to live loved."

Not a very common phrase, it's one that I discovered in Lysa TerKeurst's book Uninvited a few months ago. Both her and Lara Casey have written about it, seeking to empower women to live their lives knowing and embracing that they are loved. WE, are loved. You. And me. By so many different souls--Our Creator, who knew the hairs on our heads before we were born, and beyond; to the husbands we are wives to, the children we are mothers to, the brothers and sisters, the parents we were born to, and the friends that we cling to. But knowing that we are loved, and actually believing it, are two separate things. I know that I am loved by my husband. I know that my kids adore me and beg each night for it to be my turn to put them each down. I know my parents love me, my brothers, my friends. But do I believe this to my core, to the point that I don't doubt my beloved strengths? I'm afraid not. And I am guessing you may need some help here too.

Sisters, you are beloved. And I long to help you believe this truth. I want to know you better, to encourage you, to wrap my arms around you, to challenge you to think deeper about yourselves; so that in turn, soon, YOU will feel the love. It is my great honor to introduce you to this month's beloved lady: Lisa Diederich. She is an artist, a creative, a photographer, traveler, daughter, fiance, and a beautiful friend to SO many. This lady dreams BIG, and I'm so excited for you to see a glimpse of her story.

I have been a big fan of Lisa through social media and really, her photography, for a long time. She has always been a woman that I thought, "Gosh I'd love to meet her!" as I scrolled through her gorgeous photos. When I learned that she didn't actually live far from me, I reached out to her. I'm incredibly thankful that she was willing to let me spend a morning with her, drinking two delicious cups of coffee, cuddling her dog Toby, and chatting on her crazy comfortable couch. It's always fun when you meet someone and instantly just feel at home.

I asked her to share a bit of her background with y'all, where she's from and what life looks like, and here's what she said:
Hi Ashley! Thank you so much for including me on your amazing blog. I'm so excited to follow along with you and other women on this platform! As for me, I'm a professional photographer and just moved to Nashville, TN. I grew up in Indiana and then moved to Sydney, Australia where I lived for 5 years with my fiancé, Sam. I also started my photography business there and I have been photographing weddings, families, brands and campaigns all over the world since then. 

She told me about some of her travels and what living in Australia looked like and I just stood in awe. As a dreamer of photographing weddings in bad ass locations like the ones she has, I know that I have a lot to learn from women [and artists] like Lisa!

"If you could sit in an empty room, with 1 other chair, and have a cup of coffee with 18 year old Lisa, what is something you wish you could tell her?" I asked.

Anything worth doing is going to be difficult.

 I couldn't agree with that more, friends. It hasn't been the easy things in my life that have been the most meaningful, the most valued. And something that I have realized personally as a photographer and woman period, is that we are so hard on ourselves. We are crazy talented, have so many unique strengths, we are beautiful, but yet, we struggle sometimes, don't we? So I proceeded...

"Sometimes loving ourselves as women can be difficult. Is there anything you struggle with that you wish you could help other women know and believe about themselves? 

I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with creative work. I feel so fulfilled by photography and I'm really proud of my business and work. But I know that I can't just settle there forever! I have to push myself to be better - to critique my work, challenge my own decisions and learn new things. Stepping out of that creative comfort zone and risking failure can be scary and sometimes disheartening. But in the end, that's what makes me grow as a person and a photographer.

These days, incredible talent and inspiring people surround us. It's an amazing motivator, but it can also be crippling when you compare yourself to others. I think it's something we all struggle with (especially in this world of social media) but I try to see comparison and competition as friendly fuel. Some days it's easier than others, but it's always the goal.

"Is there anything you'd want to share about a piece of childhood that shaped you into the woman you are today? As a photographer, what inspired this?"

I was a competitive gymnast from the age of six until I was 18 (and I also did four sports in High School). It was completely crazy, but I loved it! That was such a huge part of my life growing up and I can see so many ways it influenced me. I'm self-motivated; super goal-oriented and I love a challenge. But I'm also a perfectionist and fiercely competitive. It's a blessing and a curse J

I love hearing the things that excite others! The joys and dreams that make them bubble over with excitement. Lisa and I talked about this some and she shared that she feels most thrilled over change and challenge.

 I feel excited and most alive when I’m dreaming of my next adventure. Whether that’s in my business, my travels or my personal life, it’s thrilling to think of what’s next! When I moved to Sydney, it was a scary, but exciting change. I left my friends and family and comforts behind and moved overseas with just two suitcases. For a moment, it felt like I was giving everything up, but I was really gaining so much more. I found a true partner in Sam, joined a second family, met some of my now closest friends and changed my life forever. I’ve carried that lesson with me and try to collect people, passions and experiences as I go through life.

"When do you feel the most loved and/or most beautiful?" I wanted to know. Because really, sisters, this is usually something we really have to think about. I don't mean surface beauty, but hey, if you really love your eyes or legs or arms, there's no shame in celebrating that! I want to know when you as women feel and really TRUST that you are both loved and beautiful. Lisa's response was really wonderful:

I feel so loved by my family and friends. They are endlessly supportive of me - whether I'm moving 9,000 miles away to another country or starting my own photography business, they have always had unwavering faith in me and encouraged me to follow my dreams every step of the way. I don't think I've ever thought about being 'beautiful'...it just doesn't cross my mind! But I often think about being happy and fulfilled. Sometimes it's during a shoot or a wedding; when the light is perfect and I'm completely in the zone - capturing those pure moments of joy & emotion. At other times, it's just being curled up on the couch with my fiancé, our dog and a movie. 

If you haven't yet checked out Lisa via Instagram or her website, I really think you need to. Her sense of style and design completely inspires me, and she's a gal worth knowing for sure. If there was something inspirational in this post, comment below and give Lisa some love, would you?

And friends, I really want this series to spread. I mean REALLY spread. Empowering women is something I am so passionate about; celebrating the diverse and beautifully unique ladies around us. I wish I could feature hundreds of you! Feel free to nominate your own Beloved Woman by e-mailing me or through the contact here on my website. Who do you look up to? Whose story do you want the world to see and hear?

As always, thank you for reading! Whether you stopped by because you saw it on Instagram or other social media, or you just happened to land here, I'm so grateful! I hope you'll stay a while and know that YOU are BELOVED!

beloved morgan

Sisters, I could not be more excited to share this lady with you. I stumbled upon her Instagram feed months ago and when I saw where she lived, close (ish) to my parents home in Michigan, I squealed. I was all giddy and knew that I wanted to meet her. Her gorgeous farmhouse has been my dream for a *very* long time; but not just for her HOUSE; her captions always made me laugh, her two boys looked darling (they are!) and she is just a really big inspiration to MANY! 

If you haven't yet gotten familiar with the Beloved Woman, well then first, welcome! This article is part of a brand new series here on the blog and I am so pumped you are here. My mission this year is to celebrate women worldwide, to somehow make you feel loved, valued, and cherished. I want to photograph you, hug you, and share YOUR story with readers everywhere. So with all of that said, please grab your warmest blanket (because I'm freezing as I type), a large cup of tea, and enjoy this post, celebrating my dear friend and sister: Morgan Ford.

I wasn't able to meet her husband, but she shared the sweetest stuff about him when we talked:
"He was my next door neighbor, but being in the country, that means we were a mile apart.  I always wished he was my age so I could date him, or that his parents had more kids because I wanted a boy just like him! He told me after we married that he had long ago told his best friend that he had always been looking for a girl just like me! Our families always had a small Christmas together.  He hadn't come to one in years and was finally there there one Christmas six years ago.  Boy, did we hit it off!  He asked me to see a movie on Christmas Eve.  I was at a family Christmas party at the time and told my grandfather I was going home because I had a date!  I told him who it was with and he said "Ohhhh no, that boy is trouble." It made me laugh because being in a small town, of course everyone knows everybody! (And of course he had been in trouble a few times and my family knew all about his "wild streak.") Fast forward a few months (or maybe it was just weeks??) to the moment I knew he was the one.  It was cold and dark out.  He was taking me somewhere and had the truck all warmed up for me.  He had to get out to close the barn doors and had a pair of very worn leather gloves in his back pocket with a Carhartt jacket and jeans.  Something about that moment, I just remember feeling a sign or a whisper that he was the one.  Right then and there...it was nothing he did or said, but just a moment that stood still in time and a feeling that warmed my heart.  He was and is my only one."

Morgan is a nurse and fluctuates working between her closest town's local urgent care and ER. She says:

"Sometimes I think I would be better at picking or paint colors than reading EKGs, but this pays the bills and warms my heart caring for those in need. I work most weekends, as we don't have daycare, and I try to find the family-work-life balance by being home with my family."

So first of all, are you not completely in awe of their farmhouse?! The wood stove she told me heats their entire home (awesome!) and they have COMPLETELY redone the home themselves. No hired help, just them. She and her husband have been married for three years and says they haven't vacationed since their honeymoon. 

"We took a trip up north in his old rust bucket of a truck. We planned a five day trip touring the Upper Peninsula and ended up in Copper Harbor Bay the third day, in a quaint cabin. My husband looked at me and said, "You know here my favorite place is?" Where, I asked. "With you and at home!" We headed straight for home the next morning, because it's just where we both longed to be. We don't vacation or drive fancy vehicles. We have a few beat up trucks that he has built on his bolt and he's turned every bolt on them. We don't go out to dinner anymore, more than once every few months. We invest all our pennies on this home, where we are the happiest. This is his grandparents home that we have fixed up, and we did it while each working full time. My hubby wouldn't even change his boots when he came home, he went straight back to work making this house our home. We both dream to fix some fences this summer and hopefully get some animals to raise with our growing family."

I have photographed a LOT of people, and therefore a lot of women. I find a common thread amongst us all: we don't really feel all that beautiful, and we are in actuality pretty hard on ourselves. That's another reason I wanted to launch this series--because I want to help you as women feel gorgeous, if even for thirty minutes, and to help you feel a little more confident. I asked Morgan when did/does she feel the most beautiful and this was her response:

"I felt the most beautiful pregnant with each of the boys; primarily from the third to eighth month...and then I struggled with feeling big and miserable." (I totally have been there!!) And she said, "I really feel beautiful when my heart is full and happy. Life has its' ups and downs, but when my husband comes home from a long day at work and he has the babies giggling and I have dinner ready on the table, I feel THE happiest and most secure. When my hair is a mess and I have zero makeup on, he'll look at me and tell me that I'm beautiful. THAT'S when I feel it. It's always when I least expect it; his love is the icing on a cake to make me feel so loved and radiant."

Her sons, Auburn who will be two in February, and Woodrow who is three months, are just wonderful. There is something about following someone on social media and only seeing tiny glimpses of their live via virtual squares, and then getting to MEET them and the people in those frames--well, it's just incredible. My sister in law accompanied me on this trip (it was an hour drive, not too shabby but I greatly appreciated her company!) and as we pulled up, I was giddy with delight. Their dog Wyatt was literally just waiting on the porch, wagging his tail, and I felt like we had been forever best friends. When I got to wrap my arms around Morgan and squeeze her tight AND meet her tiny little humans, I was so ecstatic. Friends, this is the part of social media that I adore: getting to meet the wonderful people you connect with and establish life long friendships/relationships with them. 

I asked Morgan what she hopes to instill in her children and she replied: 

"I really hope both boys have a kind and forgiving heart. And that they will have ambition to do ANYTHING that they set forth to do. I want them to have the tenacity to fight through life's ups and downs, and to never allow life to break their spirits and endeavors."

Morgan has been running The Whitefarmhouse Blog on Instagram for a little over a year. With almost 50k followers, I'd say she leaves QUITE the impression on people who stumble upon her page. You can view her blog here, and check out some behind the scenes of her daily life. Morgan is a wife, mama, nurse, wonderful designer, and a sweet friend to many. What an honor it has been to interview her for this series. 

Give Morgan some love in the comments below and don't forget, YOU can nominate a lady for this series!! Think of someone who deeply inspires you, who you believe has a story the world needs to hear. And thank you again to my sister in law Beth, for journeying with me and helping be the Baby Whisperer that she is :D 

beloved danielle // the face behind lou what wear

Hey y'all! and welcome to the Beloved Woman series! Whoever you are, and wherever you are reading from, I hope you'll grab a cup of coffee and snuggle up to read about my friend here Danielle. First though, let me back track just a little in case you don't yet know what this series is about.

I launched this blog a year ago, and it's been an incredibly badass year. I've met a ton of women, worked with some amazing companies, made new friends, and have talked with a lot of YOU via e-mail and other social media platforms. I've been praying a lot about what's next, and heavy on my heart has been this: celebrating + loving the heck out of the women around me. Now, this doesn't just mean Louisville, Kentucky, where I am based--but obviously I'm starting here. Over the course of 2017 I pray that I will have traveled far and wide to meet women around the world, so that I can not only photograph you, [because that's one of my greatest passions!] but to hug you, hear your story, and then to SHARE with the world your greatness. Because sisters? YOU ARE GREAT. Not just great; you are BELOVED.

Welcome Danielle with me, won't you?


Danielle was born in Louisville but moved to Miami, Florida when she was three years old, so her growing up years were spent there. She then made her way back to the Bluegrass where she attended the University of Kentucky, and she moved back to Louisville upon finishing her degree.

Danielle works full-time at Boxcar Public Relations, where she does a mixture of account
management, marketing, PR and tons of social media on a variety of clients. She also blogs over at Lou What Wear, a life and style blog that she started in 2011.

"My husband Drew and I have three kids - Drew (6), Reese (2) and Blake (7 mo). We met 10 years ago (when did we get so old!) through my best friend Kelly. They worked together and we met at one of their happy hours. We¹ve been together ever since."

Since becoming a mother, and photographing many a boudoir sessions in my master bedroom, I've began to notice how hard it is for women to feel beautiful and to know deep in their core that they are loved. This has just really struck me over the last several years and honestly, brings me back to why I wanted to start THIS. So I asked Danielle when she feels the most loved, and this was her response:

"...When I'm getting a big hug from one of my kiddos or when we're all snuggled up on the couch as a family. Is it bad to say that it's probably when my kids are sick and they want to just cuddle up with me? That's probably a mean mom thing to say...but hey, it's true. I of course never want my kids to be sick but those snuggles are definitely the best."

[and I can completely relate to this, Danielle!! There is something about being MOM when your kids are sick. Sometimes I doubt my ability as a mom, all of us who are DO, but I know that I'm a darn good nurse Mom!]

I then asked her what she wishes she could encourage other women with, that she wished they knew.

"I wish all women would stop being so damn hard on themselves AND each other. Everyone is running their own race, and there's no medal at the end. If we all just gave ourselves and each other a little slack, it would be a much less stressful world."

Last year I had the privilege of being interviewed by several different publications and one of the questions that still stands out the most for me was this one: "What do you hope to teach your daughter and what do you hope she believes about herself as she gets older?" For me personally, I never want my daughter to think that beauty is it; that that's all she needs to strive for, that that's the best adjective to describe her. So hearing from other women what THEY want their daughter(s) to learn is something that you'll see a lot here. Danielle, who is raising TWO daughters, says this,
 

"I really think confidence is such an important key. Having confidence in yourself and the decisions you make, that's going to make everything easier."  Do y'all find yourselves hoping the same? Wanting to teach our daughters to find their own self-worth and to BELIEVE in themselves? My hand is held HIGH on this one!

Danielle told me that her heart is the happiest and most content when she is in the moment with her family. Her time with her three kids and husband keep her going strong, and she says, "truly, everything else just melts away. And when I asked what a big dream of hers is, she said,

"In some fantasy world, I¹d LOVE to pack up and just move to Key West. I'd live a much simpler life, work a much simpler job and spend every single day in my favorite place in the world. It's definitely a dream. Not sure though that we¹ll ever make that happen...at least not until we're retired!"

When I first met Danielle, I was immediately blown away by her ease. She always makes me laugh, and I of course adore the fact that we both have a daughter named Reese. (Mine thinks her name is Reesie Cup and hers thinks it is Reesie Piece.) Danielle is strong, brave, and determined in all that she sets out to accomplish. She knows how to talk fashion among the best of them (and a gazillion times better than myself because me, fashionable? Mmmm, not my strongest suit!) and amidst ALL that she does, she is loved by three amazing (and hilarious) children, and one heck of a husband (who was cooking the kiddos homemade french toast when I arrived!) Danielle has many roles and wears MANY hats, but one that I hope she will hold dearest to her heart is this one: beloved.