Goals [and Cookies!]

I am literally down to the wire until I am no longer doing the typical seven hour work day, and I literally can't believe it. Y'all, a year ago I started pinning things to a board called 'Homeschool,' and now I'm like, aw, crud, I haven't planned a dad blame thing! This week I started reaching out to other stay at home moms, seeking some schedule and curriculum advice, and I'm not panicking {yet} but I do feel a sense of urgency to come up with a PLAN.

I know I would get REALLY good at staying in pajamas all day, not brushing my teeth until noon, failing to change the kiddos into regular clothes, and honestly, forgetting to eat lunch because I won't have a set lunch time of 11:30-noon, like I did at work. While I think I'll celebrate my independence and freedom for a few days, I really hope to set some goals and follow THROUGH. So stay tuned... because I'm sure I'll have an update for you guys in a few months {progress? Or #epicfail?} EEEK.

1. Eat breakfast [at the table] with the kids and read a devotional while they eat
2. wash my face and everyone's teeth [maybe throw in a shower?] ;) 
3. start a routine of school work with them / letters, sight words, science projects, SOMETHING...
4. read aloud daily, other than at nap/bed time
5. go for a walk or play out back before naps
6. if laundry gets done, put it AWAY. this never happens [am i the only one?]
7. eat lunch. be healthy. take care of me. 
8. if i don't make it to the gym, do at least one Suzanne Bowen workout a week
9. write for at least 15 minutes a day, whether journaling or in this space
10. cook/prepare 1 meal a week, since my husband is THE chef of the household

Goals are good, right? I never keep New Year Resolutions [I've only kept ONE in my entire life, see that Pin of my One New Pie a Month grid here!] But I think goals are important for everyone. I have a lot of dreams and visions for 2017, and I'm excited to share more of those LATER. But for now, I'd love to hear what YOUR goals are as a mama or a wife. Do you stay at home full time, work from home, work outside the home? I'll still be doing photography + blogging, so I'll definitely be working from home, but I am beyond ready to lighten my load a little bit and have my children be my *main* priority. 

DON'T GO JUST YET... because here is a brand new winter cookie recipe that you should bake ASAP. Chocolate Snowballs, which came from Better Homes and Gardens Christmas Cookies magazine.

1 c. butter, softened
1/2 c. powdered sugar
1/4 c. unsweetened dark cocoa powder
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. orange zest
1/2 tsp. salt
2 + 1/4 c. all purpose flour
1 c. miniature semisweet chocolate pieces
1 c. powdered sugar
{for the record, I would use sweetened cocoa powder OR regular chocolate chips next time, just because i like things on the sweeter side}

1. in a large bowl, beat butter w/ a mixer on medium to high for 30 seconds
2. add next 5 ingredients (through salt)
3. beat until combined, beat in flour, and stir in chocolate pieces [dough will be CRUMBLY]
4. hand-knead the dough until it's in the shape of a ball and cover.
5. chill for 30-60 minutes or until easy to handle
6. oven should pre-heat to 350
7. shape dough into 1-inch balls, place them 1 inch apart on ungreased cookie sheet
8. bake about 15 minutes or until they're just firm and the tops aren't glossy
9. cool on wire racks
10. place 1 cup powdered sugar into large ziplock and add cooled cookies to the bag. shake gently to coat
 

Voila! Easy first winter cookie recipe and the kids loved them.

Disclaimer: my husband totally made these. I was completely stressing out over our dog's surgery and to keep from crying, I took myself to the park for a walk and when I came back, these were in the oven. I married a keeper, guys. A real keeper.

A Reflection of Gratitude

With Thanksgiving around the corner, and Christmas approaching ever too rapidly, I find it so helpful to slow down, and reflect on my blessings. This past weekend was especially abundant in all things GREAT, so I would love to share with you what's on my heart!

First: Not in a hundred years would I have fathomed we'd have kids so close together in age. In my 'dreams' of family planning, I remember very blatantly saying they would be at least 2.5 years apart. I'm thankful that I serve a mighty God, and that He had VASTLY different plans for that vision. He granted us a healthy son and fifteen months later, a healthy baby girl was placed in our arms. She is the definition of 'head-strong' and 'strong-willed,' but she has brought SO much joy and laughter to our family. Together, my kids teach me so much and inspire me daily to do better and BE better.

Having parents who are still married: I'll be honest, as a kid I didn't really know if that would be the case for my adult self. In fact, I remember conversing with my childhood best friend that I was pretty sure they were getting a divorce at one point. My oldest brother has severe special needs and they've been his SOLE caregivers for thirty-three YEARS. They've endured heart ache, loss, disappointments, confusion, loneliness, anger, and I've watched God spin a beautiful miracle between them. They're one of my greatest pictures of grace and redemption; they've helped me realize why a relationship with Christ is first and foremost important, and they've ingrained in me to NEVER GIVE UP. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for fighting HARD, each and every day, and for loving each other, in spite of life's many challenges.

My brothers: My oldest brother Nathan is a giant miracle, miracle. When I questioned my faith, he was the reason I always came back to this--there IS a God. He IS our Creator. Nathan is so loving, has a contagious giggle, and he NEVER lets life knock him down. And Sean, the guy who popped me on the head EVERY single morning; he's zealous and passionate, an incredibly hard worker, and loves with his whole heart. Sometimes as kids, our days were tough, and my memories are beautiful pictures of him being with me. Nonstop. Through all the challenges, the fun family vacations, the laughter, and the tears. My brothers are two of the biggest pieces of me, and I am so thankful to God for letting ME be their baby sister.

My dashing husband: the one I met in a coffee shop. The guy who has walked and talked with me for hours on end, the one who chooses ME, in spite of the ugly sin in my life. Guys, my mind spins a million miles a minute and he is always good to help me take a step back, and prioritize not only my to-do lists, but my life in general. In our dating years, I attempted several times to push him away, I've screwed up royally during our marriage, and when I look at this man, I think to myself: grace, upon grace, upon grace, upon GRACE. Asa Frank, I choose you today, tomorrow, and for the rest of eternity! 

Our zoo, aka, our five pets: When people find out HOW many pets we have, because our Golden Retriever Elsa is the dominant one on my Instagram feed, their response is, FIVE?! Asa had our Lab Humphrey before we ever met, I picked Elsa out when we were dating, and through the years, we've inherited three cats: an alley kitten, a vet rescue, and our orange wonder from Sandy's Pet Shop this past summer. As much as I complain about them and the hair they shed, doctor appointments that they always end up needing... I really can't imagine life without any of them. [Any of you with me and can relate to my crazy cat and dog lady self? Eeeeek.] 

Our beautiful 100+ year old home and ALL the crazy quirks it consists of: Do I want a house on acreage that will someday overlook my future horses and freshly washed clothes on our clothesline? You betcha. But God handpicked this current house for us and I believe that with ALL of my heart. When I saw pictures online, I told Asa, "This is our house." When I walked in the front entryway, without even seeing the rest, I said again, "THIS is our house. We will live here." And how cool is it that I've stayed in touch with the former owners, and can text her questions as needed and that not only is the couple who transformed this house an awesome one, but they're our brother and sister in Christ! Christians who once lived here, Christians who live here now, and I pray often that the next residents will also love and walk with the Lord. Reese's doorknob falls off every few days. Sometimes the water smells. The ice maker on the fridge is broke. We had to replace the kitchen floor. We need new carpet. And I complain often about needing more SPACE for the kids...but I sincerely do love every square inch of this place and I am SO thankful that it is our very sweet HOME. 

My inherited sisters: I have two older brothers and I joked that God never gave me a baby sister because he knew I didn't really like girls... BUT, I couldn't have picked better sisters for myself with the four I've inherited through marriage! My brother's wife is such a beautiful soul. She's artistic and passionate, a hard worker, and the most gracious and loving wife. Asa's older sister in Rhode Island, we unfortunately don't get to see a ton of, BUT, the second I met her, I kinda fell in love. She's patient and attentive, an excellent and driven mother of three, has the kindest and most gentle voice, and shares my appreciation for all things animals and American Girl Doll. His other sister, a mom of two, has an extreme passion for labor and birth. She inspires me often with how willing she is to talk about any and every thing, and you know that her heart feels everything SO deeply. And then, his brother's wife, not only am I blessed to WORK with in a school setting, but I ALSO get to photograph weddings with her. We share a deep love for art and photography and we're both from the North, so it's like we were destined to be friends. She's *always* there when I need her, and is one of the only people that I text at LEAST every other day. Well, other than my mother... She helped me process a LOT of emotional baggage when I first met her and was just dating Asa, and she has taught me SO much about motherhood. I never would have guessed that I would be the baby sister to so many women, but here I am. And my heart is VERY full. 

If I could sit here and write a paragraph for ALL the many things that I am thankful for, well, I think we would have a book. I've told you before that often I am a glass half empty type of gal, HOWEVER, I've been working on this a LOT. And why not share all of these good and happy blessings with you here in this space? 

What's on the top of YOUR gratitude list this week? I'd love to hear from you in the comments below! Let's chat and OH HEY, guess what? I'm also thankful for YOU. Yes, you. Reading this blog, taking the time to journey through this adventure with me. So thanks, and I hope you'll stick around! 

Home for the Holidays: [What Do You Love about This Season?]

"Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home.""
--Edith Sitwell

I used to be textbook American. No Christmas allowed until the day AFTER Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving would come and go, and THEN the tree could be set up, decorations could be sorted, and holiday music could be turned on. But not this year. 

Shortly after Halloween, our kids started asking about Christmas. "Is it Christmas yet?" "Two more weeks?" "Can we write letters to Santa?" "NOW is it Christmas?" At first I wondered if it was all about the toys... is Christmas to them, all about getting? But then I realized, no, to children it's not simply about receiving--it's the beauty in this season: warm scented candles, the soft glow of twinkling lights, anticipation of where to place their ornaments on the tree. It's setting the villages up, re-arranging all the porcelain people, the molasses cookies and time spent in the kitchen with their mom. It's family and warm blankets, more time for popcorn + movies on the couch as the temperatures steadily fall outside.

In my husband's family, Christmas IS their happy. All year long, they count down to December 25, and it's never too early to play Christmas carols or bust out a tree...sometimes even in September! So this year, when I told him that I was ready to start decorating, I think his heart leapt from his chest. And the more we got out from boxes in our basement, the more we wanted to set up. After we voted on Election Day (which was later a pretty traumatic day), we had a day-date and browsed Hobby Lobby. We decided to get the kids their own small tree, to set up in our son's bedroom. That night after dinner we spilled the good news, that WE would start decorating for Christmas! Quickly the villages came from their boxes, I was on timer duty for our homemade cookies, and Pierson exclaimed as he ran up the stairs with one in hand, "THIS IS THE BEST NIGHT EVER, MOMMY!" 

Each year I've noticed that this holiday gets more magical, but hearing those words, that sweet proclamation from my sweet 4-year old, just proved that THIS is what our hearts need. Our country is currently amidst a lot of chaos. After the Election, some people were relieved and others mourned. Still, almost a week later, social media platforms are plastered in hateful jokes, hurtful statuses, and a lot of hostility. People are trying to convince their friends that they voted for the wrong person, they are trying to prove why or why not the President-Elect is a victory or failure. So we decided that our hearts needed to be lifted and the bricks needed to be taken off. We've decided; the more family, the more celebration, the more Jesus in our household...the better this month is going to be.  

It is not yet winter, and Kentucky is bright with a still gorgeous Autumn, but I want to take it all in. The changing colors, the cooler air, the foggier mornings, and darker evenings. And I can't tell you how happy my heart is to come down the stairs (freezing cold, because we refuse to turn on the heat), and step on the floor button to turn on the Christmas tree. As the coffee brews, and my children race to the couch to be covered up by fuzzy blankets, we stare at the tree and are together. The world is out there. And while I love people outside of these walls, I have been reminded that here, is where matters the most. 

Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, I pray that in this season, you too will find peace. And whether or not you'll wait until after Thanksgiving has passed to do YOUR holiday decorating, may your heart find the joy and love it's been missing. I want to remember our children in these ever fleeting years; their laughter and footsteps racing up and down the stairwell. I want to remember the way in which they smiled as the lights were plugged in and the room around us began to glow. My daughter's voice whispering, "That is so BEAUTIFUL," as the star was placed on top. And I want to remember how I feel; here in my joggers, fuzzy socks, and sweatshirt, as the glow of the candle beside me warms my heart. 

What is it that you love about Christmastime? I am so thankful for these memories, this old home, and the love that abides. I would love to hear from you! Will you comment below and tell me where you're reading this post from? What warms your heart in this possible season of cold and darkness? Wherever you are, know that you are loved, and I so appreciate you reading! 

Office Space Oh Holy Night Print: BlursbyaiShop on Etsy
Vintage Red Truck: Target
True Love Pallet and Village: Hobby Lobby

This Body

This body has held two babies; when they were first placed into its' arms, and now, as their growing bodies stretch down more than half of its' torso. This body may be thin, but it is strong. And this body, it has ran up and down flights of steps thousands of times in search of binkies, special blankets, baby dolls, and stuffed lions. Many a night is this body exhausted, but it never gives out, it never gives up.

Since becoming a mom, I've watched every inch of me change. The increased smile lines around my mouth from all the laughter that escapes, and the brow indent from none other than that worried and cringed face when times were tough. The veins on my calves beginning to spread, the core I've been working on has flattened and yet kept its' faint stretch marks. My tummy that has gotten tighter, but yet refuses to let go of that mom skin.

Giving birth seems like a lifetime ago, yet each one is permanently engraved on my heart. I remember, just when I thought my body couldn't handle the pain, another contraction would come and go, and I found myself surviving. Two times, I was blessed to have experienced it, two times, my body carried an eight pound, full-termed baby. I'd kick my legs or I would drop to all fours, crying out, "Oh no," with each pained breath. And then, just as I realized how long I had been at it, just how tired I was, I was holding someone that was half ME. And just like that, I was given an entire second wind, un-phased by the pain.

My daughter tripped and fell when she was fifteen months old, requiring a couple stitches and a late night in the ER. She has a tiny scar in the top left of her forehead, and really, that's her only 'flaw.' Maybe I should call it a beauty mark--there's no such thing as flaws. Sure in error, when one has physically messed up or didn't mean to do something; but on our bodies, no. As my daughter continues to grow, her skin will no longer be as smooth; she too, will begin to show the test of time, she too, will reflect on these years. Both of my children will grow tall, probably like their daddy, and so much of them is destined to change. Will her hair forever hold her now tight ringlets? Will he always smile with his eyes and crinkle his nose when he laughs?

Time.

Passing.

Transforming.

Each mark, each scar, each year, telling all of our stories.

My body has told the story of TWO bouts of Postpartum Thyroiditis. It has seen two-digit numbers on the scale when it crashed after my son's birth, and it has rebounded back to healthy. A year ago I had begun to slightly panic at my reflection in the mirror; I wasn't yet ready to love this new body, all of its' progressions, all of its' pain. But now?

I'm beginning to see a victory--I don't mind as much the mom skin that still exists. I have worked hard; physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually-- to accept this body. To be proud of this body. To share its' story with whomever needs to hear. And to show my children that these changes are okay.

When I first launched this blog in January 2016, my goal was this: write for yourself + your family. Enjoy it. And if you don't? Don't do it! Days after it went live, I was strongly convicted that I needed to write about my body and the journey it has been on. I talked about body shaming and how these last few years have brought lots of shame, from lots of different people. Never fathoming that it would go viral, I realized it was a story that needed to be heard. [Click here to read]

Today my message lives on--there is grace in this body. We are given these bodies ONE time. Let's teach our children to be strong, let's show them how to love their bodies, and while we are at it, let's work on loving ours.