2023, Here We Go!

2022 started with Asa testing positive for Covid. His Facebook status (which he rarely EVER updates), read this:

For the new year, I thought I’d do something I’ve never done. Tested positive for COVID today. Is it 2023 yet?

To which I responded: 

Hey, don’t wish away our year. 2022 is gonna have crisis, heartache, drama, stress, tears and more. But it’s ALSO going to have laughter, hugs, newness, excitement, and JOY. I love you!!!! I am sooooooo sorry you are so sick and that this break has been prettyyyyyyy miserable. You and we’ve got this!

He responded, “Ashley, it better be good!” and I said (yes, this is a lot of back and forth)... “It might not be? But we can handle anything together.” 

Today was the memory of that status. He scoffingly said, “Boy were you right, Ash!” I remember how I felt this time last year. That 2022 was a new year, I was excited about it, but knew that like all years, there would be challenges that came our way. Did I ever guess that would include being diagnosed with a severe autoimmune disease? Of course not. But NONE of us know the ‘hand we will be dealt,’ right? I feel like every single year for the rest of our forever (here on Earth anyway), is going to guarantee these things: 

Heartache. Laughter. Hope. Despair. Grief. Love. Friendships. Loss. Challenges. Accomplishments. Failure. Achievements. Smiles. Tears. And maybe it’ll all repeat, maybe not? 

And I also know this: If we stay united with Christ, and with each other, it will ALL be okay. So how about 2023? What’s next?

This year I didn’t set any MASSIVE goals. I don’t need to run a certain or set number of miles, I simply want to ‘increase my miles.’ Would I love to run 10-13 miles again without stopping? Sure! Right now I can do a solid 3-4 and I’m happy to maintain that for a little bit, and then I want to pick it up. Since finding out I HAVE MS, that alone has made my workouts way more doable and enjoyable. I find myself thanking God that I CAN do them, whereas before, I took a lot of runs and lifting workouts for granted. 

I also want to make more friends at our church (and really just in general, with Christ loving people.) We’ve attended our church a few years, since the Pandemic really, and while we know a handful of people, we aren’t fully plugged IN, if that makes sense. I am craving deep and meaningful friendship. I was never in a sorority, I don’t live in the same state I grew up in, and frankly since having to move churches several times throughout our marriage, that has made friendship hard! Oh and the fact that I got married as a sophomore in college / 20-year old…ha. Today a neighbor of ours texted, “I know it’s last minute but we are making a charcuterie board and some simple pasta. Would you guys want to come over for dinner?” and I died inside. Kidding–but I was so sad we couldn’t make it! I told my husband this was my dream friendship right in front of me. A charcuterie board, pasta, and amazing people!? YES, PLEASE! PS: Motherhood / Adulting / Friends = tricky to maintain and manage, at least for ME. 

My other hopes for this year are that I will read more, and that I will grow significantly in my walk with God. I want to read more books about Him, learning about His character and who HE is. I want to decrease screen time, and believe we should ALL be doing that. Today our pastor encouraged us that as a congregation, our goals should have rhythms AND restrictions, and I couldn’t agree more. For instance:

*Rhythms: daily prayerful engagement with Scripture 

*Restrictions: limit quality and quantity of screen intake 

Nothing was huge or out of the norm as far as setting my goals for 2023. I have seen how EASY it is to walk away, and I do not want to do that. I long for our family to be so deeply rooted in Christ loving friendships and community, and that together we will be rooted in Him. No one said the year will be easy, and it won’t be. But as I said above, if we stay united with Christ, and with each other, it will ALL be okay. (My dad loves to say, “It’ll all be good,” and it makes me smile.)

(Does this feel like a big, giant spoken ‘prove me wrong’ God, to anyone else?? I tend to be on the superstitious side sometimes, where I am scared to say things aloud because then they so freakishly HAPPEN?? That I’d be lying if I told you I haven’t kinda freaked myself out with this post.) 

What about you, Friend? Wanna share your 2023 goals with me? Feel free to email me or find me on Insta to connect and say hello! Whatever your aspirations are, I pray you well and thank you for sticking around in my little corner of the internet!

A Thank You to 2020

Can we just take a moment, and bear with me, to thank 2020 for all the lessons it taught us??

For better or worse, it happened, Y’all. In January of 2020 there is no way we were considering a global pandemic that would literally shut the country DOWN just months later! Nearly 2 million deaths, an economic monstrosity, and on top of covid-19, the innumerable racial injustices and tension that broke hearts and families. 2020 was hard. It was full of adversity and it disrupted every single person’s life.

But within a year full of ALL of that, I am also eternally grateful for the things that I learned. As a wife, a mom, a teacher, a woman. Grace, authenticity, growth, humility, grit, determination, relationships, the importance of family, faith, hope, and how to be present—how about all of this just to name a few lessons?

I thank 2020 for teaching me so much. I thank it for allowing (forcing really) more time with my family and especially children, then ever before. My ‘time off’ four years ago (January-May 2016) wasn’t even filled with this much ‘togetherness.’ More time outdoors; walks and hikes, and the year that got me back into distance running.

In 2019 I didn’t think too much about a lot of things or maybe I should say, I didn’t appreciate them. Going into a bakery for a fresh donut, or sipping coffee in a coffee shop? What about hosting friends and family; gathering people into our home and fellowshipping—in person? Life without masks…seeing someone’s smile, or frown, or emotions, period. Not being fearful of someone coughing nearby or expecting the worst when they do. When viruses were simply viruses, not death sentences.

I began to find happiness in the simple things, more than ever before. As a 32-year old woman, I realized the very best things and the very best people are literally within these walls. (Okay, that’s not entirely true. They’re also at a barn thirty minutes away but you know what I mean.) We’ve always heard the phrase, “life is too short,” but now we can see so much (too much) proof of that. We live in a world of ‘go go go,’ and Asa and I have talked often about how weirdly thankful we are that we have HAD to slow WAY down. We haven’t been able to make plans every weekend. We couldn’t host, we couldn’t do date nights, and the kids haven’t had a sport to go to or be a part of in, um, forever. Will we be thankful when we get to welcome those beautiful things into our lives again? Absolutely! But let’s never forget how much more present we have been and how much more mindful too.

‘When life returns to normal,’ is a phrase I’ve heard a lot too. When will it ever be normal again? What is normal? Here’s my honest opinion. I don’t want life to return back to ‘normal.’ That’s like asking to go back in time and undoing all the beautiful things that we just learned and reaped. TRUTHS: I would love a world without masks. I would love a world where we don’t live in fear. I would love to have friends and family over for dinner and drinks without thinking twice about it. But the old normal we all had, was abnormal in so many ways. Perhaps in 2021 we learn to grieve the once normalcies we had and fight hard as a family and as humanity, to create a NEW normal.

As a believer of Christ, I believe every single day we are getting closer to meeting our Maker. Whether that’s when He comes back and returns to US, or when it’s our time to go; with that said, I also believe the Bible is the Word of God and that life will only continue to point to HIM. 2021 won’t bring magical ease. It won’t be a year of less pain or suffering. But do you know what I believe and hope for? That it will be a year we get to love EVEN more than we did in 2020. That we can open our arms and physically help and love those in need; and that we can lean on each other in big, AWESOME ways. And that we continue to spread the love of Jesus wherever our days may take us.

All of you have been seeking a New Year, and well, now it’s here. IT’S HERE! Please don’t take that lightly. And thank you, 2020, for the year of self-reflection, of gratitude, slow growth, and for the recharge to begin again.

Check in With Us and Our 2019 Goals!

We set out this year to make 12 adjustments to our overall health. Things we believe will help us be healthier mentally, physically, intellectually and spiritually. The idea was to pick one a month and to add another each month. Here’s a refresher on those goals:

12 Changes to be The Best Me:

1.     Drink More Water

2.     Wake Up Feeling Refreshed

3.     Exercise Regularly

4.     Read Actual Books

5.     Schedule and Commit to ACTUAL Date Nights 

6.     Less Screen Time 

7.     Eat Fruits, Vegetables and Vitamins Daily

8.     Do Something for Someone Else

9.     Lessen VICES 

10.  Tries Some WHERE or THING new

11.  Feed My Soul

12.  Save and Budget Money Wisely

 In January we decided to drink more water. Asa has been downing water every day, and I realized that for most of the month, I was meeting that goal…but as January went on and now in February, I am typically struggling meeting my goal of 2 full sized water bottles a day [half my body weight.]

It’s still my overall longterm goal though, and I am doing a really good job, especially compared to how much water I USED to drink… (ahem, hardly 16 ounces in a given day.) There have been great effects on our bodies and minds besides just peeing a lot more. In general, we both do feel better, are less bogged down during the day by caffeine and sugar. I have noticed a better complexion and more energy in general, especially WHILE working out. While I am not 100% meeting my goal, this is still going to be one that I strive for continuously. I KNOW the effects are great on and for our bodies and mind. It’s been a great addition to our daily life, one we intend to keep up with.

Full disclosure, we are working on several of these at a time, but only really committing to them one month at a time. In February we are focusing on adding way more fruits and vegetables to our diet. We had this realization that every single day we feed our children a meal and serve a fruit and a vegetable alongside it. For example, they’ll eat Macaroni and Cheese with grapes and snap peas, or Chicken Nuggets with carrots and apple slices. We did this because we knew this was a healthy habit for them, and something important for their overall health. And then of course we were feeding ourselves giant bowls of pasta, cheese burgers and fries, and other things that we love, but no consistent vegetables and fruit.

To be clear, we aren’t committing to a low calorie diet, this is not about losing weight. We recognize that we need more fiber, more nutrients, and vitamins that come from plants. We’re simply going to make a conscious decision to fuel our bodies more the way we fuel our kiddos bodies. Yes we will be eating Penne Alfredo this week. But instead of a heaping bowl of it, we are going to have a sensible side of it, and a side of broccoli to go along with it. We want to encourage you to join us on intentionally getting your 5+ servings of fruit and vegetables in every day. And simply ask yourself, how do you feel? How is your energy, your gastro-intestinal system, your mental clarity?

How are you 2019 goals going? We would love to hear from you!

One Day at a Time: Goals for the Year Ahead

Last year's Reflection post [what I'm calling it anyway] covered a lot of things--how good 2016 was, how many blessings arose, and the ways in which God wowed my socks off. "Look at all the GOOD things God did in our lives this last year," I had written. "And yes, I'm saying this firmly to myself. All of those things do not mean that 2017 is going to go KERPLUNK. I don't need to have ANY answers right now, all I need to do is to take one day at a time. Starting Tuesday, in just two short days, I will literally be a stay at home mom and working from home. That's a HUGE dream turning into a reality!"

2016 consisted of a crap ton of hustle in order to fulfill that dream (staying home) and then guess what, 2017 was spent with me being home with our kids and really not working at ALL. I look back, however, and think that's just how God wanted it. I had dreamt of doing crafts and baking and going to parks with our Pierson and Reese before he started kindergarten. In order to do that, I photographed 8 weddings the year prior, took every paid partnership I could get my hands on, and basically booked every possible photo session. We saved every cent and I worked 6-7 days a week. I thank God OFTEN that the prayer was heard and answered and that for almost eight months (summer vacation included in that) I was "just" Mom.

It was a different kind of hustle and one that didn't exactly bring IN money. 

Thank the Lord for His provision, friends. Here were my questions walking into 2017: 

Will I be a good stay at home mom?
Will the kids like it? Will I like it? Will I be strong enough?
Will I be able to book a lot more weddings?
Will I be able to take this blog further? (What does that even mean?!)
Will I ever have another beautiful home NOT in our current neighborhood?
Will I ever live on land?
Will I have a horse?
Will I go back to teaching? Will I teach forever? Will we stay in Kentucky forever?

If you've followed along with me, many of you know how those questions panned out. I think back very fondly on my time home with the kids and being a 'stay at home mom.' The kids too have fun memories and tell me often that they loved reading Bible stories and doing crafts and learning about school. Some days I didn't LIKE it; [once I even threatened that I was going back to work if they didn't knock it off] or something super-rational and Mom of the Year statement worthy. But in hindsight, I loved it. 

I shot three weddings last year. All three blessed my socks off but one left me with a little sting and a little hurt; communication wasn't the greatest with that one and I walked away incredibly bummed that they didn't want me to blog their special day due to privacy. Lots of things learned though in that regard, and realized some tweaks I need to add to my photography business! 

We DID move to another beautiful home, NOT on land, but just one mile to my new favorite horse who I get to visit as often as I want. Well, not as often as I want because that would be 24/7 and ya know, mom life, work life, wife life and such... but still--HUGE blessing! 

I DID go back to teaching, and halfway through the school year here I am wondering, "What am I doing with my life?!" Ha! My heart is with my children, and though they are in school (kindergarten and full-time preschool), I just want to be here. As I type our son is spiking yet another fever. He had one for FIVE days the first week of December and missed five days of school! He just went back to school TODAY from Christmas break and I'm like, dude. All the stress of "whose turn is it to stay home?" and "great, this means Reese will be next." I miss last year when that was never an issue because I knew my husband would go to work and I'd be home anyway...

I wonder what's out there--if I WILL teach forever, or if God will expand my photography and blog tenfold. I think the next best step would be for me to somehow teach part-time and that's probably a more realistic goal; I'm just not sure if even that can happen? There's a lot of factors to consider: student loan debt, new house payment, if I get a horse this year [what?!?! Yes, that's the dream but hasn't it always been? Ha ha]. Benefits and health insurance. Retirement. Life in general because let's face it, extra spending money is WAY more fun... 

Let's go back to the new house though, can we? So many blessings have surrounded this home, and honestly, mostly thanks TO my photography and blogging business. (Being able to offer high-resolution images, blog posts, and other social media benefits for companies). I did a lot of research about what brands I wanted to work with, and the types of things we wanted here. We quickly learned that our style is more of an industrial/rustic/farmhouse one, and are having SO much fun designing rooms and spaces around that. It was SO fun working with Havertys Furniture to help us plan and furnish the living room--the main space where we bring people to gather (other than our giant dining room table). Definitely add that to 2017's TOP praise and to my favorite partnership list.

So, now what? 

Lord help, because I have no idea, Y'all. I felt as if last year God was telling me to BELIEVE, and there were a LOT of moments when I needed to be reminded of that. I mean I literally wrote a post called, "Are You There God? It's Me, Ashley," because I was struggling to believe he had this home destined for us. Within that, I said, "It's not that I'm suddenly denouncing God or walking away from my faith," I said. "I am just in a season of struggling to find hope." But ultimately I did believe because He continued to show His face through the pain and through the questions that I had. 

We are three days in and 2018 already has me wondering. 

Asa's car broke down on the way to his job yesterday, the first day back TO work after our break. I came home to dog poo in our bedroom for the umpteenth time because we have senior dogs and one of them in particular [ahem, Humphrey, ahem] has questionable intestines. Our cat Manny [my favorite] was let out (pretty much like normal) and then proceeded to be gone for like 15 hours in subzero temperatures. Me being super-rational, proclaimed him dead and gone on my way to work this morning, positive I would never see him again. *Side note/praise: our awesome neighbor went looking and together she and another neighbor noticed him on our back deck while we were at work. One of them proceeded to quietly enter our backyard, grab him, and she kept him safe in her house the entire day while we were at work.* Pierson is more than likely going to end up with another virus/bug this winter which all sorts of bums me out. I just want him to be WELL and to be able to enjoy kindergarten and not miss a million days! 

I seriously wrote this sentence last year: "But wait, Ashley. One day at a time."

And I think that's what I hear Him telling me again. 

One day at a time. My sweet friend Sarah recently told me, "2018 is going to be your year, Girl. I just know it." And for whatever reason, I feel more hopeful than not that it is. What's that mean? Psh, I don't know. But I think regardless it will be good. 

Instead of making to-do and checklists, here are a few things I want to work towards this year: 

-Experience more, worry less. 
-Be more intentional in every aspect: husband, kids, community
-Love our people, always. 
-More grace, less shame. 
-More strength, more rest, more joy. 
-More faith, less doubt. 
-And dream, always.