Thirty Things to be Inspired By: Practicing Mindfulness

In 2016 I launched this blog and when I did, I had zero expectations. But the more traction the blog got, the more views, the more followers it led to on Instagram, the more I was inspired by it. I was inspired to create more and do more and make more and be more.

Recently while I was doing my early morning walk with my Golden Girls (our dogs), I looked around listened. It was pitch dark except for the glow of a full moon, and the neighborhood was completely still. I listened to my breaths and inhaled and exhaled deeply, paying close attention to the rhythm and release of tension. Life is more than a screen. It is more than numbers on Instagram; than likes, followers, engagement, and data. It is more than hustling, than always being busy. Life is so much more, and maybe you could use that reminder too. I’ve forgotten to be inspired by the things that matter. This is a simple little post reminding myself of some things I love so much:

-The first sip of coffee in the morning
-Quiet morning walks with my Golden Retrievers
-A purring cat sleeping on my chest
-Scented candles, specifically seasonal ones: pumpkin in Autumn, gingerbread in Winter, lemon and clean scents in Summer, and all things floral in Spring
-Fuzzy socks, all the sweatpants, and baggy sweatshirts (oh, and after work when the bra comes off) ;)
-Cuddling our puppy Emma, or really any and all Golden Retrievers
-Sleepytime Tea or Lavender blends
-The biggest and thickets blankets you can find
-Being held by my husband to fall asleep at night. He doesn’t like my cold feet but he takes one for the team and big spoons me anyway
-Currently binge watching: Veronica Mars
-Riding my horses through open fields being completely quiet; remembering how blessed I am to have the things that I used to pray the most for
-Journaling when I make that happen
-Reading a good book, when I can make that happen
-My kids’ laughter, their giant hugs, when they call me Mama
-Walking with my husband and the dogs
-Watching our kids ride their bikes and feeling my heart swell with SUCH pride
-Holidays: Christmas and Halloween are my current favorites with the kids
-Fall, and the beauty and crispness that makes it such a nostalgic season
-Our wood fireplace
-Warm chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies
-Peanut Butter Pie
-All things Italian
-Fancy cheeses and charcuterie boards (clearly I’m hungry….)
-Dreaming of our future, even though I have no clue what it looks like or entails
-2 story farmhouses, and how I won’t ever stop dreaming for one of my own
-Front porches, I miss ours
-Porch swings, I miss ours
-Hand written letters and cards
-Kind words
-Bedtime with my kids; tickling backs and listening to quiet lullaby music
-Praying with my kids
-Going on dates with my husband
-Printed photographs and reminiscing days gone by
-Taking photos of other people and helping families/individuals freeze memories
-Loving women and connecting with women around the world
-Friends who stay (the ones that pursue even in the busy seasons, the ones that love you in spite of everything they know about you)
-God, even if I can’t grasp just how big and good He truly is (Psalm 147:5 “Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure..”)

What about for you? What do you need to reflect on and remember that you love? Y ’all, the days are busy and they are also fleeting. I can be frustrated about many things, but I’m going to blink and wonder where the days went because I already do that—how were my kids ever babies, how are we where we are in life? There is so much goodness surrounding all of us, even amongst a lot of difficulties. I encourage you to take some time to write down or mentally reflect on the things that make you smile, of the reasons that you too, are blessed.

Happy new week, Friends. Send me a message if you want to connect, you always have a friend here!

The Dishes Can Wait: Let's Talk

What is ONE thing you need to hear from someone today? I mean seriously. Stop what you're doing for a second (well, keep reading...) and just think. How would you feel if someone checked in with you like this:

I'm proud of you. 
How are you doing today? 
You are so beautiful. 
Thanks for being so great. 
Do you need a hug? 
Hey, do you want to go see a movie? 
Let's grab dinner. 
You are so incredibly strong. 
I just love you!

As I've gotten older, I can't believe what a 'words of affirmation' gal I've turned into. Yesterday I scaled a rock climbing wall.. When I entered that gymnasium and looked all the way to the top, I didn't think for a SECOND it would be me ringing the bell at the very TOP. But when I heard my husband cheering from below, I heard him say, "Reese is going to be SO proud of you, Ash! Ring the bell!" I looked to my right and saw the next rock. I took a slow and deep breath, and I reached so high for that glorious bell. DING, DING, DING!!!! High fives and hugs greeted me at the bottom, my friend Liz (aka BEST workout buddy) beamed with excitement. I mean encouragement, y'all--isn't it great?! 

I think most days we just move through our routines. We go to school or work, put our kids on the bus or send them off to the sitter; some of us are homeschooling our preschoolers--making breakfasts and lunches and ordering toys and rooms to be cleaned up, and naps to be had. Our husbands come home and we are tired; hair untouched, teeth lucky to be brushed. The pets have been cared for, house is put together, kids are still alive, but it's now what we moms like to call witching hour; and we are TIRED. We check Instagram and scroll, scroll, scroll. Maybe we throw in a double tap for a 'like' if it's a photo that spoke to us. We check Facebook; scroll, scroll, scroll. Sometimes we comment when something is funny or there's a cute photo we like. We'll like each other's statuses all day long, but often we forget to text our husbands, "Hey Babe, I am proud of you. Thanks for loving me." We forget to call or message our family and ask, "How are you doing? Is there anything you need this week?" To check in with our friends, "Is there a time that would work in the next couple of weeks to get together? Let's get dinner and catch up. In the mean time, how can I pray for you?" 

We are busy creatures, somewhat stir crazy in our souls. The days can be hectic and the nights long. We have babies and young children who don't yet know the importance of a GOOD nights sleep, and the thoughts that rattle through our minds when our feet need to hit the floor to start all over; well, they aren't always the most pleasant. I wrote a post a while back about finding God in the crazy--to seek Him first and to pray more often. To speak to HIM, more often. I think I've improved greatly with this, but Lordy how there's room to grow. And thinking outside of that, of the prayers that need to be had, the more scripture that YES, I do need to read...is ensuring that we as a community are caring for one another. 

Who haven't you reached out to in a while? What face pops into your mind as your read this and you think, 'hey...I wonder how ______ is doing.' Don't just wonder, find out. I swear I probably have 10-15 women pop into my head all day long. Heck, as I sit here writing it's like boom, boom, boom!!! Name after name, just flying through my tired mind! My pregnant hair dresser, Michelle, seriously, so many prayers are said for you. Same for my preggo girlfriend Britney! My sister in laws, my brother, my DAD, women from our old church... I mean really, the list could go on! I don't think we are all destined to be best friends with one another and I don't think that's ever the expectation within friendships. But I think we could do better at staying in touch with the women and friends that we love. Stephanie who came to dinner, I loved you! I'm SO glad that you're 28 and we have that in common and that you love dogs and animals as much as I do. Chelcey who does my web design and helps me form emails and newsletters and is my soundboard for life in GENERAL. Peg, my childhood best friend who I dream about living closer to, with your two boys and husband; laughing with you is quite possibly the best thing EVER. Lisa who lives in Boston, who spent a season living in Kentucky WITH me. Jerrica, who is quite possibly my earthly angel, you're my everything!! 

No, I won't list every single person that I love here in this space, because there's just too many of you and my mind is too fuzzy for that anyway. But I wanted to just throw this out there, that you, whoever you are and wherever you may be, I bet it really means a lot when you hear someone tell you that they are proud of you. It feels GOOD to feel strong and beautiful, radiant and loved. 

Can I encourage you today to think about the top three people that keep popping into your head? Outside perhaps from the regular people you talk to on a consistent basis (aka my husband and my mom hear from me 300 times a day...) Who are those people?  Ask them how they are. What about them makes you proud? What do they do well that they would love to hear from YOU? And then keep going about your day! The clothes to be washed, dishes to cleaned, tables to be wiped off, prayers to be said, books to be read, kids to be tucked in...it's all still waiting for you. I even bet that somewhere along the way, you'll feel more energized and recharged to DO those things, BECAUSE you took the time to brighten someone else's day. Those dishes can wait, for all of 2.1 seconds, am I right? Let's love the heck out of each other because frankly, we're worth it. 

Who's Clapping?

Thoughts: I've been having a lot of them lately.

Most of the time, (honest moment), I feel like I'm 'in a rut' writing wise, but this is mainly because I have ten million things and thoughts scuffling around in my head, and processing them into a well-constructed and solid post, is super challenging. I'm sure you're with me; in the age of social media, the Internet being at our fingertips, the endless amounts of scrolling...

 We see SO much.

We compare SO much.

I've talked often about seasons of friendships and how life can just be funky. The ebb and flow of who sticks by our side (and whose side WE stick by), changes, all the time. But there are some friends that just stay; regardless of the amount of time we are able to spend together, regardless of our different opinions and beliefs. I have one girlfriend in particular who used to be my teaching assistant for my first two years in the classroom. On day one, I thought, "I am going to love this lady!" But then life, as it always does, proceeded to change--she took a different job, I was moved to a new school, and the seasons continued to press onward. Living on opposite ends of town, having completely different hours of availability, and not working together anymore means that we don't see each other often. But a couple of weeks ago, I took some goodies to her brand new house, we plopped down on the couch, and talked for HOURS!

During the conversation, she said something that has just stuck with me, a phrase that has been all gurgled in my mind but that I didn't know how to actually put into words, until she said it: 

"Be aware of who isn't clapping when you win."

I have another friend, she is climbing her way up the Blogging Ladder, and she works her tail off in everything she does. We meet for breakfast or lunch, text often, and as busy as she is, she has never put her successes above mine and vice versa. We write to a different platform, we were raised very differently, our ages are different, our words are different. When I have questions about websites and codes and social media, she excitedly lends a helping hand. She has never withheld information from me in fear that I would steal her thunder BECAUSE she doesn't allow for comparison to override our friendship. And when she told me some of her big and upcoming work assignments, I didn't slump over in a puddle of discouragement BECAUSE this girl deserves it!

Who is clapping?

Who is hugging you when you win? Who is holding your hand when you lose? The friend that I visited has told her daughter that phrase since she was tiny. And now that I have kids of my own, I really think it is going to be a mantra that I pass down to them--I don't want them to have friends who constantly compare. I don't want them to fear success OR failures, because I pray that as their seasons shift and change, the right friends will be placed at the right times.

There is so much room for negative headspace, especially with Facebook and Instagram. We find ourselves comparing, wondering why so and so is better than we are; why are they so successful? Why do they have more followers than us? Why does their house look brighter, their walls whiter, their clothes cuter, their bodies BETTER? But I just feel so DONE with these lies. You are you and I am me, and instead of competing with one another, I am ready to celebrate our accomplishments.

Maybe yours is that you'll run a mile straight without stopping. Or you'll start that blog that you've been day-dreaming about. Maybe it's that you've been featured on another site, and someone else found encouragement through your words. Maybe it's that you've struggled with sadness and have felt too blue to move, but you decided TODAY to get out of bed.

Be aware of who isn't clapping when you win.

And then take a deep breath, thank God for creating YOU, and hug a little tighter the ones who have stayed by your side. And as you journey, focus your attention on becoming a better version of yourself. Use what you see on your screen for inspiration, or turn the screen OFF. I have talents and so do you. I pray that you will find them, use them, and then help me celebrate others in this overly competitive world we live in.

*What are some ways that you cheer others on? What types of things encourage you the most in your friendships? Do you have a friend today, that you should text or call, just to say, "Hey, you're doing GREAT!" I hope you'll share this post, that if something resonated with your heart while reading, that you would tell someone else! YOU are wonderful and YOU are going to do amazing things, I have so much faith in that promise!*