“Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” -Simone Weil
“See me, Mom? Mommy did you see? Mom, did you SEE?” I remember our kids saying that, often. It was also “Watch, Mom, watch. Mommy, watch me!” While they still ask that sometimes, it is very rare! One is turning eleven in ONE month, the other is nine. Today’s church lesson was such a good reminder and conviction that though my kids are growing and not necessarily asking to be seen, giving them each attention is one of the best things that I can and will do for them.
The pastor today mentioned how allowing our kids to use the gifts God gave them, instead of forcing our own opinions and ‘should do’s’ on them, is going to be life changing. I wonder what paths they will walk. What colleges they will choose. What their first jobs will be. Who will they marry? Will they want kids, have kids, be able to have kids? What careers will they be in, what will their hobbies be, what will they remember?
I want my kids to be seen by me. At the end of their busiest, hardest, saddest, most exciting, most exhilarating, most trying days…to know that I am theirs.
I woke today with a hand typed letter from my son and a homemade card from my daughter. Both cards read so uniquely and vastly differently from each other’s, and both made me feel SO loved and so cherished. My son and my daughter are very different from one another—it is fascinating and humbling to watch their lives unfold before me.
I want to share parts from each’s here.
My son’s first:
“…don’t let me or anyone else say you are small. If anyone says that, they do not know what they are talking about. You’ve fallen off horses, gone to the hospital, you have MS, there are so many things that not even the tallest person in the world could handle, but YOU can. Sometimes I don’t recognize how much you do…I want you to never feel like I don’t see you what you do. I don’t think there will be enough paper in the world to write to you how grateful I truly am…..”
And my sweet girl’s:
…”thank you for helping me get cozy in my bed! It helped me a lot. I love that you hold my hand every night! Thank. you for teaching me to ride a horse! I love you so much! I can’t believe this is your 10th Mother’s Day! I use exclamation points so much…”
Pierson’s notes remind me of me when I was his age and how I would leave notes on MY mom’s pillow at bedtime. And Reese’s just makes me genuinely laugh because 1) I use exclamation points a lOT, and 2) I could only aspire to be as carefree as she is! I can see both of my kid’s love languages within their handwritten notes to me for today…my son is so much words of affirmation and my daughter’s is quality time. I see that. I know that. I confidently stand by that they’ve been this way since they were toddlers and first figuring out how to be individual people.
Lastly I wanted to share a blurb about husbands. Have you heard or seen the quote, “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother?” Henry Ward Beecher said that and I wanted to take a second to praise and love on my husband here. Today he wrote in a handwritten letter:
“In 2011 when we agreed it was time for a baby, we had no idea. In each season we have struggled and thrived as parents. Not because either of us is GREAT at it, but because we have each other. You are the calm to my loud…the gentle to my strength. The tenderness to my rough. The listening ear to my problem solving. My pause to my go…YOU complete this family. There were a million reasons we were and weren’t ready, but whether we were ready or not, YOU were the only reason I needed to say yes. You are ALL of my reasons.”
Life is short, it is tough, and it is fleeting. It was yesterday I was holding a newborn in my arms, and today I have two almost adolescents. Yesterday I was twenty years old and walking down the aisle, and today it has been almost fifteen years that I said I Do.
I see my people. Every ounce of me sees, hears, feels, and senses them. It is like I have a hundred hearts walking around outside of my chest, simply from being loved by THEM. May I always find the attention. May I always seek to love them more. May THEY always be seen by ME.
