Gather: There is Always Room at Our Table

Moment of truth: as I photographed this space and scanned through the photos I was taking, the thought, "This is MY dining room???" went through my head. Y'all, I am in love. When I first walked through here, I was a little hesitant and doubted whether our eight foot farmhouse table would FIT. We've had this table for almost a year now, and it's one of our dearest household possessions. I don't know about you, but for us, the table is where memories are made. 

One of my favorite author's, Jen Hatmaker, said in her book For the Love, "Instead of waiting for community, provide it, and you’ll end up with it anyway.” If there is one thing my husband and I strive for, it IS community. We have had led small groups for years, hosted the past three Thanksgivings, and have people over for dinner weekly. The table is where our kids eat all of their meals, it's where we recap our full and busy days, it's the place that we laugh and come together. 

Well, my husband and I have been the king and queen of hand-me-downs and vintage furniture. When we got married (ahem, almost nine years ago!) we were blessed to have parents and friends who gifted us with pieces they no longer needed. But the last few years, and especially once we received this gorgeous table, we really longed for better seating. Seating that would actually match the space, and that looked like it FIT. 

When my friends at Walker Edison Furniture gave me the green light on collaborating for these chairs, I almost cried. Literally. I mean SERIOUSLY...what more perfect chair could GO with this table?!?! The dark wood and white seat backs are almost exact, it's like they were made for each other. See for yourself, just how amazing the dining room looks thanks to these beauties. 

Thank God for a beautiful new house, with an abundance of natural light, white trim throughout, and for a gorgeous place where I look forward to hosting SO MANY meals with friends and families. We are having so much fun decorating and styling this home, but I'm 99% sure that the dining room is complete. 

We are big on loving people. On helping others feel welcome. Inviting individuals in to our mess, because frankly, as pretty as this room looks, that doesn't mean we have it all together. Here is where the goodness happens. Around my husband's home cooked meals, fresh flowers (most days), and often on chairs that have remnants of our children's messy fingers. There is always room at our table, and it's with a very special thanks to Walker Edison Furniture, that I am even more excited to gather here. 

Let's Get Real

Hey everyone, so moment of truth, how many people here enjoy working? Is it like, 10% or 90% of you reading who say, "I do! I love getting up in the morning and going to work all day!" Because I'll just be real with you: I want to stay home with my babies all day everyday, as exhausting and infuriating as they can be, and write and take pretty pictures on my terms. Can anyone else relate?

Do not get me wrong here or twist these words--I love teaching, and I love the relationships that I build with students. However, now that I've had a taste of stay at home life, well, it's that much harder to go back. My son starts kindergarten next Wednesday and my daughter starts preschool in TWO days. Bless their hearts but good LORD, could someone just heal MY broken heart?! There are some moms who are great with their kids growing up and getting older and get super thrilled about all the milestones. I have loved every stage and every single year, but let's also be real; when Pierson was three months old, you would have found me in his nursery crying, flat on my face, simply because he had changed so much. (Okay, at that time I had a serious thyroid disorder that made my hormones ALL out whack, but still!!) Most months when I feel extra emotional, it kind of spirals when I think about all the memories or moments of recent days. It's like, in SPITE of how frustrated (downright angry) I get with their bickering, tattling, and constant messes, I simultaneously want to scoop them up and hold them on my lap and squeeze them forever. 

Let's get real. I just signed up to a part of my son's PTA. I smiled and gave my email address and sat through his orientation with many other parents in the room; meanwhile, I felt like I was having the wind knocked out of me over, and over, and over again. There's a difference in losing your breath when you see your baby for the first time after hours of a strenuous labor and then losing it because you've realized that baby is FIVE freeking years old and he's his own miniature person. And the same goes for my baby girl, who is SO excited to start school because her brother is, and who talks constantly about picking her outfit for the first day, making friends, and listening to her teacher. Y'all, these are GREAT THINGS! I just need to be 100% honest in admitting that they also are making me feel physically ILL at the moment. 

You know those moments as a mom when you're utterly exhausted and you're sitting on the toilet, and you think, "This moment of peace will last a maximum of 2.3 seconds...." and then you're spot on, because the kids barge in and are either running from each other or one asks to literally see what progress you've made on said toilet? I literally shut my bathroom door today, for the FIRST TIME EVER, because we have never had an en suite. And we now have THREE bathrooms in this house [hello heaven!!!!!] so I thought, "Surely I can just pee, and close the door so that I don't hear their noise." Lo and behold Reese storms through the door: "MOM! WHY did you close the door?! That's so MEAN!!" It was a rare moment where I had my patience under control, and I said, "Reese, let's try that again. I closed the door because I can. I am a grownup and grownups can close doors, children should not. I closed the door because I wanted a minute of quiet. Why don't you try knocking on the door and asking if it's okay to come in?" "Okay, Mommy!!" she responded. And she practiced. "That's a very big girl thing to do, Reese," I praised. And then I almost laughed out loud because the entire exchange took way too long and let's face it, I had finished peeing LONG ago, I was just merely scrolling my phone at the point that she had rudely entered. However, I digress. There's going to come a day in the very near future that my daughter does not WANT to come in the bathroom with me. Let's get real. She is going to want her privacy, and respect mine, and the days of her constantly wanting me will be no more. 

Our son just recently started going into a stall at the gym to change into his swimsuit and HE has been closing the door when he uses the bathroom here at home. I don't even know when or how this happened, is that just like, an innate thing that kids do? Because Lord knows I didn't prompt that. I guess I just feel like at this moment, in this season, my kids are giants. And it's barely just begun. So here, let's look at some sappy photos and all cry together, want to? 

From none to one to five, I'm just not sure where the years went.....and here's some of Reesie Cup:

I've read many a blog post where moms write about the woes and heartache of their children growing bigger. The posts about how important it is for self-care as a mom [and it is] and how we should also not care so much about the messes and finger printed glass doors; we all experience it. We blink and they are starting school. We wake up and they are four and five. While I used to never understand phrases like, "Just you wait, tomorrow they'll be driving themselves!" I do now. I remember carrying two car seats very uncomfortably on my arms, balancing them up multiple staircases to get into our home; and now both of my kids can buckle themselves in. 

Let's get real. Life is fleeting, and I am holding on for dear life. 

Humphrey's Purpose: Cheers to Eleven, Old Man!

To all the dog lovers out there, well, I think you'll be able to relate to this post quite well. I've once been called "the most sentimental person ever," and because I fully embrace that characteristic, yes, I am writing a blog post dedicated to my now eleven year old dog. 

Humphrey Bogart, the dog that most of you know VERY well, turns eleven years old TODAY. When my feet hit the floor I saw him sleeping on my side of the bed. I dropped to the ground beside him and kissed his face a thousand times, telling him, "Happy birthday, Buddy!" My daughter Reese woke soon after and excitedly reminded her brother that today is Humphrey's birthday! I had to rush for a work meeting, but as I left, my husband and the kids were singing him the birthday song. Celebrating pets birthdays may seem kind of strange, but if you're anything like me, than your pets are pretty up there in equality to your kids. (Okay, THAT may be a stretch...I am not fully equating our animals with our human children, however, I will say that MY love for all of them is pretty dang close in measure.) 

I was introduced to Humphrey back in October of 2007. Growing up, I had a white Labrador Retriever named Holly, and I knew by Facebook stalking (you all do it) that the guy I was into (my now husband) had a Chocolate Lab. I was thrilled to spend a day with both, as that guy had invited me to meet at the coffee shop he worked at for a hot beverage. I walked out the back glass doors where his back was towards me. His dog however, saw me in an instant, and hopped up, greeting me with massive paws on my chest. He almost knocked me to the ground and I remember being so appalled at this--MY Lab, was perfect. Like, literally though, she turned herself into my brother's service dog, and basically never left his or my parents side. She was quiet and sweet, never licked, and lord have mercy, NEVER jumped! (Basically she was half human, we are all convinced, and her other half was angel.) I knew then, Humphrey was NOT part human nor part angel. Little did I know though....my heart would be transformed. 

Humphrey got kicked out of his house shortly after this meet-up, because he had 'bit' the mailman. Asa ("that guy") was living with his parents and therefore, so was his dog. Well, Humphrey never actually DID bite the mailman, he excitedly had jumped on him and left BARELY a sliver of a red scratch. Regardless, that was taken very seriously and the humane society demanded that Humphrey be quarantined completely for two weeks. Asa's parents weren't mean or anything, but they just didn't exactly want them on their premises anymore. Before we decided that he could live with me [obviously Asa and I moved QUICK, because we had spent every single day together SINCE that coffee date, and I had in that time frame got my OWN puppy--our Golden Retriever, Elsa]; Humphrey did something kind of dumb. It was a Sunday morning, we had just got back to Asa's parents from church, and we saw Humphrey running down the driveway towards us to greet us. The funny (not funny?) thing IS, is that Humphrey had started the "quarantine" and had been locked in Asa's bedroom for the short couple of hours that we would be away. He has always been ASA'S DOG, and made this abundantly clear to all of us when we noticed he had busted out of the basement bedroom window, in order to GET to Asa who pulled into the driveway. He didn't have a scratch on him that day and wagged his tail, greeting us how he always did--with an over abundance of pure energy. 

We decided that day, I would take him and keep him at my house, where he could hang out all day with Elsa. She quickly became his best friend and long lost companion--his disposition changed immensely in the coming weeks and months; though that may be largely due to how much more exercise he was getting? Asa and I went on walks daily with our dogs--taking them to open fields and letting them run ramped. Humphrey has always been the extreme, and Elsa has always been the quiet graceful one-- together, they make the most amazing duo. 

Since I probably can't write one single post talking about all ELEVEN of Humphrey's years, I know I need to wrap it up. In June of 2011, he gave us quite the scare when he and I were playing fetch. Throwing a stick and him catching it completely wrong resulted in a punctured artery in his tongue and LOTS of blood. That moment was one of many that I realized how THANKFUL I am for Humphrey and how much I freeking love his soul. 

Even when, for instance, he ate the entire Christmas ham. Or when he tried to burn Asa's parents house down by managing to turn on their stove when he hopped up for leftovers. Or when he ate a twenty pound bag of dog treats and we witnessed the results of that ALL night long. There have been quite a few (more than we can count) mishaps with this dog, but even and especially with those memories, he is the most lovable and protective friend.

We've learned this summer, that his neck has a disc that is showing wear and tear from age. Our vet explained it to us like one of us having a rotator cuff issue and it causing immense arm pain--Humphrey's neck was so sore and he was in SO much pain; he would holler out and was hardly able to move at all. Luckily it doesn't seem to be too major, and with the nerve meds he's been on and anti-inflammatories, he is already back to his normal self. See a trend here? He's just amazing. He is still on medication (I am guessing will always be?) but is no longer limping, is playing with his favorite ball, and goes out back to sunbathe on some of these incredibly hot summer afternoons. He begs 24/7, licks our faces, and his number one priority is being with us, wherever we are. 

Asa shared this sweet birthday post on Facebook today with a photo I took a few days ago: 
"This old man is one of my oldest and most loyal friends. Today he turns 11. Humphrey became part of my family when it was just he and I. I was battling depression, and had very little direction in life. He never seemed to care about those things. Humphrey was with me as I built a life with Ashley. He has protected us through 4 moves, and this week a 5th. He has been the gentle giant to both of my not so gentle children. Happy Birthday to great big lug of friend! Praying for many more happy returns!"

I feel like this sums (granted, a very LONG summary) our sweetheart of a dog pretty well. He was Asa's first, to walk beside him through some pretty dark days, and quickly jumped into the rest of our hearts. Michigan trips, lake swims, hikes, and more, he's been there for them all. I'm excited (and admittedly also nervous) to see where the months and next years take us. Eleven is a big birthday, and this guy deserves the world! Oh, and if you haven't noticed where I stand now, ten years since meeting him, I know now that Humphrey is also half human, half angel ;) 

The Company Store gifted Humphrey with an amazing dog bed for this birthday. Made of memory foam, it is easier on his joints, provides extra comfort, and is great for older dogs like this sweet man. We've washed the cover several times already (because hello shedding Labs), and it looks just like the day we received it. We are so grateful, and I think Humphrey is too! [Full disclosure: ALL the other animals sleep and cuddle on it as well. Ha! It's a hit for all of them!] Thank you, Company Store!! 

Clearly from above, boxes are currently our life at the moment. We are excited to get in to our new house and for the next pages of our story to be written! Thanks for following along, and if you wish Humphrey a happy birthday, I'll be sure to tell him! We are cooking him a burger now and about to sing together as family. 
 

xox

The Case of the No Naps

Moms, have you literally forgotten everything that happened with your first born child, now that you have multiple? Because I promise you, I remember almost nothing. First steps, I know they happened the day before his first birthday. I remember he was 25 months old when he was completely potty trained (day-time that is). I remember he was the easiest babe to break of the binky. And I'm fairly certain he was the most perfect sleeper, ever. 

But that can't be 100% accurate. Because I also remember texting my sweet friend and soul sister Jerrica with a million sleep and nap questions; she too, was a "Babywise Mom." That means we scheduled our kiddos and had a pretty good grip on when they would sleep and when they wouldn't. I know that he napped like an angel (babysitters, DID HE?!?!) up until just recently, and he just turned FIVE. 

But if you were really asking me to remember all these details....well, I can't! I'm currently in this stage of nap regressions with our dear sweet daughter. She turns four in two very short months, and she is a monkey see monkey do kinda gal. (Lord, help.) She knows that her big brother doesn't nap daily anymore, and constantly asks, "Well, is Pierson going to play quietly in his room or will he be resting in BED?????" Telling her not to worry about her brother and to just worry about herself, well, that doesn't fly. 

I've always wanted to be the sweet and soften spoken mom. The one who never yells or who doesn't fly off the handle. The mom who gently lulls her anti-napping toddler to sleep. Or who is extremely patient with said toddler when she doesn't even lay down to TRY to sleep. But guys, I fail at this *MISERABLY.* There's like: strike one, strike two, strike three, strike ZERO, NOW I'M SCREAMING, and no, I haven't given too many chances because I'm totally exaggerating here to NOT make myself seem like a total lunatic. And now I'm sitting over here all like, "HOW is she ever going to nap in preschool?? They SAID that ALL the kids lie on their mats and just sleep. But there is no way in the h-e-double-hockey-sticks that this will happen?!?!?!" First of all, Reese turns four a month after she'll start preschool, which means she will be four in the three's room. Surely there'll be other four year olds present who are in the same situation as her? But to say I'm a little worried and stressed over this thought is kinda an understatement. 

My husband likes to reassure me (by not reassuring me) that it just won't be my problem. She'll be in preschool, not ME, and there is really absolutely nothing that I can do.

Okay...............thanks?

I am betting there will be like 300 of you who tell me that your child has never napped. So all I'm going to say here is that I am SO SORRY. I really wouldn't mind the no nap thing, IF I wasn't starting back to work in three weeks, where she'll be in brand new circumstances and settings. Her grandmother will watch her two days in our home, and I'm also not looking forward to how Reese is going to test those buttons on those days, either. Maybe those will just HAVE to be her 'no napping' days? But how do you do that.........? 

Has anyone else ever admitted that raising toddlers is a crapshoot? Who am I kidding, it's a shit shoot. (Sorry, Mom!) It's just a total mess where there are days you have no idea what you're doing, WHY you're having these battles, where you haven't looked in a mirror all day, and you are drinking coffee at two-thirty in the afternoon INSTEAD of lunch, because you just want to sit and BE. I sound like I'm complaining big time don't I? But did you know on the other side of this fence that I am sitting, there is this woman who is about to cry big giant puddles of tears because BOTH of her children are starting school in three weeks?? 

I looked at my five year in the car today in my rearview mirror and saw him just sitting all properly in his booster seat, looking out the window with his insanely long legs dangling off the seat. And in that moment, I got all choked up. This KID, my first born, is FIVE. And my daughter?? The one who is currently undressing herself in bed and getting really frustrated that she can't put the shirt back on correctly (yes, daughter, I can SEE YOU)--well, she's my BABY. I've always called her my baby baby, and here we are, approaching her FOURTH birthday. 

A couple realizations: 
-I'm getting old
-and motherhood is a constant lesson, teaching me ALL the things about selflessness, SELFISHness, grace, laughter, sorrow, and love. 

The case of the no naps have officially arrived. But I suppose this too, shall pass. 

*Dear daughter, my baby baby, who is NOW currently upstairs throwing books off your bed...I love you more than there are words. Thank YOU for still choosing to love ME, even when dear old mom sometimes loses it.*