Have you ever been asked by a child, “Will you adopt me?”
I will NEVER forget when I was asked those four words. It brought back memories of when I opened our front door on Jackson Street close to downtown Louisville, and my favorite little boys stood there in front of me, eyes wide and full of anticipation—they said, “Our brother was killed last night.” Two different scenarios, but the feeling in my soul felt the same. What do you say? To a child with innocent eyes, whose heart is beyond broken; what HOPE can you offer them?
The moment in which I was asked if I could adopt is one with a lot of background. She was a former student, who I had as a fourth and fifth grader…Enter middle school, and she was back in a location where she was in need of treatment for some really poor choices she had made. After she confided in me the numerous [poor] decisions that she had made, including running away from her foster home, was when she said, “Mrs. Glass, will YOU adopt me?!”
I am always honest with my students. I don’t believe in sugar coating but at the same time, I also don’t believe in being MEAN. So in a kind but upfront tone, which she was very familiar with, I said, “Girl, what do you expect me to do with that information!? I have two small kids at home; how could this work with everything you JUST told me?” What do you think she said…….?
“But Mrs. Glass, I would BE good. I would be great for you and Mr. Glass.”
In March of 2019, there were over 10,000 children in the state of Kentucky in foster care. I tell you this not to overwhelm you, but to show you that the need for care of children is very REAL where I live. There is an epidemic of neglect, parental drug use, abandonment, abuse, and more. And this is on my heart, ALL THE TIME.
It was time for me to head home that day, so I smiled and told her that I hope she knows I love her, and that I really needed her to take care of herself. She smiled back and HAPPILY said, “Okay, Mrs. Glass. Tell Mr. Glass I said hi!”
Flash forward to the summer of 2019. We had been traveling a lot, and my mind was in that ‘I’m on vacation mode,’ which means I wasn’t in school or student mode. But she still crossed my mind often, and I was still praying for her a lot. And then I woke up to an email in my inbox.
“I am contacting you to see if you would like to be part of her support network OR consider her for adoption,” it read. It was her adoption recruiter who was reaching out, and she went on to say that this student had identified me as someone who she significantly looked up to, and I had a good relationship with.” Y’all. I felt WRECKED.
As I read, internally I was feeling a gazillion different things. I knew I (WE) couldn’t exactly say YES to adoption; we hardly knew (know) her, and there are a lot of risks when taking on that sort of responsibility with children who have suffered from psychiatric challenges, and who have had a LOT of trauma in their personal lives—especially when you have your own young kids to think about. But I at that moment knew without a doubt God was (is) doing SOMETHING in our lives with this young lady. Asa was so supportive from the beginning of this, as he always is (thank you, Lord for an amazing and empathetic husband!!) and he said, “Ash, we’ll figure it out. We can absolutely be part of her support system, whatever that may entail.” I quickly e-mailed her worker back and told her that I would 1.) check with my workplace and see what the protocol was and 2.) that we were definitely interested in helping however she thought we could.
Then, the rest of the summer it went kinda quiet. I thought about her daily, wondering how she was, WHERE she was, and praying that the Lord would continue to do HIS will and that I wouldn’t be selfish in any of this, or trying to be the hero. From the beginning she was someone I connected with, who I desperately wanted to help and who I saw as someone who could be SO successful…if she was with the right family. This is a teenage girl, who I honestly believe has never experienced what it means to BELONG. Her younger siblings were adopted all together, and she was left, yet again, alone. I don’t know if she knows what it feels like to be loved by a parent or an adult in general. Truth be told, I don’t know her well at ALL—but you know what?
GOD DOES.
Thankfully I was given the okay to be on her contact list, and that was the next step. And then a month or so ago, I received another inquiry from her case worker—this time she informed me that the student was going into a new foster family, but her team was wondering if we would consider being Respite Care for her should the family need it. Yet again, that was something Asa and I had to talk about, and ultimately we decided YES, we would. I told her worker that ideally, we would be able to meet with her and get to know her better before they hypothetically call us for that, so that’s where we have left off! I’ve been able to have several phone calls with this sweet teen this month and each one has been SO happy and positive. I always ask, “What’s GOOD?” and ask positively framed questions. I go soon to have an in person visit with her and I am SO excited.
Maybe wherever you are tonight, you wouldn’t mind saying a prayer for her? I can’t say names and I won’t ever talk about things that are protected through privacy laws, but God will know who you are talking about! She’s thirteen, has a heart of gold, and is just a kid who needs to be loved. I am praying that her current foster family is one of the GOOD ones, that she can be willing to BE loved by them, and that she is SAFE. I want so badly for her to choose success, to choose life, to choose hope.
Thanks, sweet friends. If you can’t tell, my heart tends to break for those who need rescuing. I recently started teaching high school and it was mind-blowing to me how many of my current students are also in foster care…one fourteen year old recently found out that he wasn’t going back to a family member to live with and he said, “You know…you could adopt me!” Oh if only I could, guys. If only I had all the time and resources in the world to give EVERY one of these kids a safe and loving home, I would in a heartbeat!
