Fall Traditions and How We are Still Keeping Them

How do you feel about Fall? Because by far, this is my absolute favorite season. It’s not TOO cold, it’s not too hot, and there’s no SNOW. The colors are beautiful (especially this year) and this is when we do ALL the festivities with our local family. We joke that we see each more than ever before in the Fall but come January, we’re all hunkered down in our homes ready to be recluses.

I think more than ever, keeping traditions alive is SO crucial to and for us. Especially with our KIDS. I mean sincerely, how sad a season has been the season of Covid?! They can’t go to school, they haven’t seen their classmates in over 250 days, and their life has been radically rocked—whether they can fully grasp it or not. Enter: all of this. Doing LIFE with some of our favorite people. Running and jumping and playing and being silly. Oh and indulging in ALL the apple cider donuts…And just to be safe, yes, all our kids (and us) wore masks, especially when around other people) and during all the activities. And there was plenty of hand washing afterwards ;)

This is the month we watched Hocus Pocus on a projector in our backyard, we all went to Boo at the Zoo together, we walked St. James Court in honor of the Art Fair that DIDN’T get to happen this year, and then obviously Gallrein’s Farm. It’s FALL, Y’all, and we are HERE for it. You know Asa is Buddy the Elf (except for all holidays, not just Christmas) so planning moments like this is his jam. Have you been to a pumpkin patch this season? What’s your favorite part? For me it’s the hay ride and just walking around the field admiring all the cute gourds. We go, we walk around, we snap some orchard photos, and then we buy all the donuts and enjoy every single bite. (I keep mentioning donuts but sadly I didn’t take a single picture of one this year?! Darn. It’s okay though, you know they’re freakishly delicious even if not photographed, right?)

“I am SO glad I live in a world where there are Octobers-” I mean, WHO cannot relate to Anne of Green Gables with this?!? SO much has been cancelled in our world. I am incredibly grateful the pumpkin patch DID NOT, and we were still able to enjoy these memories. We believe traditions are important. And we also believe being outdoors is a HUGE part of that. Kids need to breathe fresh air, they need to explore, and they need time with family. So what about you?? What things have YOU done this fall? Is there anything we need to add to our list of fun? Jot a comment and let us know! :) Oh and if you like looking back on memories like I do, you can see one of our previous Gallrein visits here! The kids have all grown SO much!!

Expect Something Different: First Year of Marriage

Aahh the Newlywed stage. Have people ever told you, “Your first year will be the hardest!” When Asa and I got engaged, it was mind blowing just how many outright negative comments we received. The one common thread everyone said we would fight over, was money. They also said that we would be having sex, all the time. Guess right, they were WRONG.

Whenever we have friends in our life get married we alway ask them these questions:

-What is the best part about being married?
-What is the one thing you can’t believe nobody told you about?
-What is the hardest part about being married?

About 99% of the time we get these answers: “The best part is learning to do life together, making our home, nesting essentially. The part nobody warned us about is how fiercely independent we’ve been for so many years and how hard that would be to shake off as we become dependent on each other. And the hardest part is sex. Expectations were weird, physically it’s not what we expected… and not to say it’s “bad”, (though sometimes it is) it’s certainly not the movies either.

Truthfully this is the reality for so many newlyweds, regardless we’ve found of age or how long they’ve been together. Of course unpacking and arranging furniture is fun. Cuddling with your spouse, having morning coffee, sneaking into each others’ shower are all just awesome fun things. It’s LIFE. This is why we chose to get married, to do life with each other.

The trouble comes that we seem to not realize that sharing our life, really means SHARING OUR LIVES. We share finances and we share time. We share spaces and objects. Learning that I have to communicate my schedule, my desires for OUR money, and being upfront about my expectations is challenging. Somehow though we forget in the engagement stage of the relationship that we are independent people agreeing to intertwine everything in life.

And then yes, there is sex. Your predisposed notion is PROBABLY: “It’s going to be magical, it’s going to be often, and I’m going to be really good at it.” But the truth is, unless you are both quite versed in sex prior to your wedding night, (we weren’t), its going to be awkward. It might even be hard. Yes, it will definitely be fun. But you don’t necessarily think about prior to the marriage, that you will have to find a way to be as sexy as you can, and care as little as possible about the outcome. That’s difficult, right? Things just aren’t the movies, where everything has perfect candle lit angles, and its all extremely satisfying. But you know what it is? It is intimate, it is fun, it does feel good, and it will get better. Practice makes perfect. Stick with it slugger.

We recently saw this quote that resonated well:

“The devil will do anything to get you in bed before your marriage and everything after your wedding night to keep you out of it.”

Believe it or not, this is 1000% TRUE.

Our first year of marriage, we didn’t stress about money. We were poor. Plain and simple! We budgeted extremely well and looked forward to our Thursday night cheap Chinese takeout and Grey’s Anatomy. We didn’t overspend or even want to spend. We had each other, and we lived in the heart of the city of Old Louisville. We had our dogs, our love, and Chinese…what more could we ask for?

But the truth is, as the years went on, we quickly discovered that we didn’t have it all together. Our love, as strong as it was, wasn’t solely butterflies and roses. We struggled finding the time to pursue one another, to learn what the other needed: physically, emotionally, spiritually, and intimately. The newly wed stage is magical for all the right reasons, but it’s just a phase. What we hope and pray you are creating is a healthy foundation of LOVE for all of the phases still yet to come. Each phase is beautifully tough. No phase is perfect, but ALL phases you get to face together.

Love,