Getaway for a Spectacular Weekend in French Lick

This post is sponsored by Visit Indiana and French Lick Resort, but all thoughts and opinions are my own!

Praise the Lord, it is our summer vacation!! My family and I were counting down the days until our summer could begin and finally, it is here! It was so fun to surprise the kids with a mini getaway the weekend that their school let out. We had heard GREAT things about French Lick Resort, and my husband and I are so glad we got to experience it for ourselves.

First off, for such a short drive from Louisville, it really feels like you’re ‘getting away.’ Not really an interstate close by, but two lane state roads wind you through beautiful country side. Then you pull into French Lick and there are these two MASSIVE resorts. They are historic, stately and offer such truly beautiful architecture and exploration. We pulled up and low and behold…FREE VALET. Sorry, but we aren’t typically fancy enough to have someone else park our car. That’s really a great way to start any vacation, someone willing to do mundane tasks for you. They even brought the luggage to our room free of charge as well!

We stayed at French Lick’s sister hotel West Baden Springs Hotel. You walk through a giant atrium to get to the hotel lobby, and oh my goodness, y’all—it’s magical. All of the beautiful natural light pours through, and when you stop and look straight up to the top, you can’t help being completely in awe at such a spectacular building. (I’m also blown away by whoever constructed it because holy heights, that would be kind of terrifying.)

Admittedly, French Lick is a small town, but for our weekend getaway it was perfect. Plenty of restaurants to choose from, games and activities for the kids, and the resorts have PLENTY of swimming options both indoor and out. The food at Ballard’s in West Baden, the charming train that will shuttle you back and forth between the resorts, bowling alleys, all of it was just super charming and relaxing. (PS, when you go and ride the train hopefully Todd is your conductor, he was MADE for this. Such a sweet and kind gentleman to everyone he gave rides too. He even gave our kids wooden train whistles, which I now have a love/hate relationship with; but regardless, sweet gesture!)

Outside of the resorts there were plenty of places to eat, shops to look through, and fun activities for everyone to enjoy. I recommend 33 Brick Street, which is where we had dinner one of our nights. Its a casual sports bar filled with cool memorabilia. Apparently I’m lame because I don’t really know who Larry bird is, but he has lots of things on display there!! We also enjoyed Pluto’s Pizzeria, which is where we bowled and ate pizza—a really fun experience and activity for our kids who are five and seven! For breakfast both days we went to the Grand Colonnade Restaurant Buffet. Saturday morning I had some girl time with my daughter; my husband drove our son to his basketball tournament back in Louisville (dedicated sports dad!) and she and I went to breakfast and explored some of the shops.

Big Splash Adventure is minutes down the road from the hotel, and a great activity for families who visit! It is a 40,000 square foot INDOOR water park, but get this—it has a retractable roof! All year round you all can enjoy this destination for some great family fun! Just outside of town there is Wilstem Ranch. There you can actually meet giraffes and elephants, and there is also zip lining and horseback riding here. The ranch is just ten minutes from Paoli and French Lick.

You all know me and my obsession with horses, right? We obviously had to check out the Stables at West Baden, which has trail rides available. (The minimum age requirement to ride though was eight, so we didn’t do a trail ride since our kids were too young; however, you know we cuddled them and got to know some of the staff, which in my mind, was pretty much just as awesome.) The staff there were super friendly! I’d highly recommend snuggling with the horses (and going for a ride, haha!)

We spent one of the afternoons at the pools, West Baden Springs has a great indoor and outdoor facility. It was sprinkling when we started, but the weather held off and we were able to enjoy a good couple of hours in the water!

French Lick truly was a GREAT weekend getaway place. Not far from home, but far enough away that life and responsibilities just slow down—and rest and laughter become the two most important things to take care of. I’ve heard from several friends that the decorations they put up at Christmas time are unreal, so my family will definitely be going back! Thank you, French Lick Resort for hosting our family this weekend, what an incredible place it is.

The Story I Didn't Want to Share

The story behind the story. We all have one, but you know that. You know that the families you see in picture perfect Christmas cards aren’t actually perfect. You know that everyone, everywhere, has struggled somehow in their lives, even if they haven’t shared with you how. That beautiful woman you may envy, there is a piece of her that she wishes she could share. The funny guy you work with, who seems genuinely happy ALL the time? He does too. We all do. And that’s why I’ve decided that after five years, I am finally ready to share with you one of MY behind the scene stories.

Why? You may ask. Why now? Because, sweet friend, it suddenly dawned on me that there is a phrase you need to hear—and if it’s not you who needs to hear this, I am betting you have a friend who does.

SIN DOES NOT DISCRIMINATE, BUT NEITHER DOES GRACE.

My story starts with a four word sentence:

“You look cute today.”

I was lining my students up for lunch and had grabbed my phone to put in my pocket to take with me. I stared down at that text and my heart immediately began to pound outside of my chest. It was so loud I was sure someone would be able to hear it. I’m sure I turned red. I was flustered, taken back, but more than those things, the truth is is that I was flattered. But guess what, y’all. That text didn’t come from my husband; who it would have made sense coming from. And even more truth, I wouldn’t have felt as school girlish as I did, had it been from him.

Let’s take a step back for a moment, can we? I didn’t wake up one morning, dress myself in a any particular way for work, with the mindset that a man who wasn’t my husband would compliment my appearance. That day was just like any other normal day. Except the Ashley who received that four word text wasn’t the same Ashley as before.

I got married when I was 20 (no, I wouldn’t recommend it, however YES I am thankful that I did.) In 2011 I got pregnant, in 2012 had my first baby, and then I was nursing. I started to lose drastic amounts of weight (got down to 97 pounds!), my hair started falling out in clumps, my heart rate was through the roof ALWAYS, and I was diagnosed with postpartum thyroiditis (aka hyperthyroidism and my hormones were crazy bonkers.) Well, in 2012 after having my first baby, I got pregnant with our SECOND baby! Enter the pregnancy hormones again, add on having that baby in 2013, and then going through hyperthyroidism AGAIN. Throughout that time span, I was also overstaffed to a brand new school, where I didn’t know a soul, and relationships were pretty difficult to build because of my circumstances + tired mom stage. Who was I?? I was a woman with very unbalanced hormones, a very unstable mental status, and someone who was no longer secure in the woman that she was.

And just like that, my blinders came OFF.

Growing up I knew that marriage was hard. My parents fought like most other parents, and there were plenty of times that I wondered if mine would stay married. They always worked through their issues though and it was very evident to me from a young age, that love was a choice and mine were constantly choosing it. When I was a Junior in college I discovered some pretty life-shattering information about some choices my dad had been making; and that those decisions had been pretty ongoing throughout much of their marriage. All of a sudden some light bulbs fired in my brain: one, that a bunch of stuff made sense about their fights when I was younger, and also why my mom may have been so emotionally tired. And from that day, I embedded it into my heart and brain that when or if I ever got married, it would be the man who messed up. I thought that there was NO way I would do any wrong—that if my marriage was ever challenged or when things got hard, it was going to be my husband’s fault. He would be the one who would have a wandering heart or lustful thoughts…women didn’t do those things.

And then. “You look cute today,” turned into hiding text messages, changing my stories, and becoming completely distant to everything and everyone around me. He had been a really good friend, and then somehow, he became more. He turned in to the person I was venting to, the one I was looking for compliments FROM, who I wanted to ‘look cute’ for.

And then—shit really hit the fan when I started dragging Asa right through the mud I was stirring. I felt as though I didn’t have anyone to talk to, so every single night for a few weeks, I talked with him. Out loud I actually pondered what it would look like if I left. What would life be like if I left HIM for another man? I could visibly see his hurt, and knew what I couldn’t see was even worse. But every SINGLE night, my husband said, “Ashley, I choose YOU. I will be here when you wake in the morning.” I wasn’t myself though. Each night I went to bed pretty angry…I was confused, torn, and though I couldn’t see it yet, I was playing with fire and allowing such darkness to consume my thoughts.

Life began to go thousands of miles per hour. I was blinking and sinking faster, and faster, and faster. Recently my pastor at church said, “What are you going to do when the Sea comes and the tide doesn’t stop? You can either drown…? Or you can learn how to breathe.” Oh how I remember feeling as though I was drowning…My emotional affair lasted ‘only’ a few weeks. He and I had two episodes where we were hanging out outside of work with some other co-workers, and I knew it was over when he picked me up inside of the club and asked me to make out with him. “Put me down,” I said. I then told the girls I needed to go HOME. I knew, that the ‘harmless’ flirtatious text messages were no longer really enough…that was boring. He wanted more. I soon gave him a hand-written letter, explaining that I had to stop. I couldn’t do this anymore, Asa didn’t deserve it, my babies at home didn’t deserve it. We had to stop texting, we had to just be co-workers; normal co-workers. And guess what happened? He stopped. Just like that.

Oh, Ashley. If you had JUST put a stop to it as SOON as it began…it would have NEVER turned into anything, except maybe a moment of being flattered and blushing as you walked your students to lunch.

The flirting stopped, but the emotional distress didn’t. I started running. I would run through sketchy parts of downtown Louisville thinking that I was invincible; but at the same time, wondering if anything would happen to me. Or maybe I was hoping it would. I began struggling with feelings of guilt, shame, and even more, wanting to run completely away. I called my mom quite a bit, which was normal. I told her that I wanted to be done; that sometimes I envisioned myself just driving away and never coming back. I even wondered what would happen if I got into a car accident. I felt like I needed to be punished. I wasn’t suicidal, but at the same time, I wanted everything to just be over. I couldn’t see past the tide; the waves were so deep, and so strong. You probably know what those waves actually were:

• Shame

• Guilt

• Self-hatred

• Embarrassment

How could my husband love me through this? The turning point for me was a Sunday at church. I heard the Pastor quote the scripture, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide…” The words Asa had been saying every single night were now the words I heard literally from the pulpit, and it felt as though God himself was saying, “Ashley, you did not choose me, BUT I CHOOSE YOU.” You can probably imagine the tears that flooded from that point. It was the pivotal moment, my break through; the reprieve I needed to feel whole again. Once at home, Asa and I got the kids [then babies!] down for their long nap. We sat on the couch together, me in his lap curled into the smallest ball, and we wept. Long and hard, we sobbed together. ALL of it came out. The 100% truth, no cover-ups, no sugar-coating…I felt so bare and incredibly raw. Never in my life have I felt so much remorse, and never before had Asa’s arms felt so healing.

Friends. If there is something that I hope and pray you take away from this story; this heart breaking, difficult, vulnerable story—is that while sin does not discriminate, NEITHER DOES GRACE.

That Ashley back in 2014 had to go through something I really don’t wish upon anyone, but she was restored. Through the hardships that Asa and I endured, we went through a refinement process, and through it was grace, redemption, and complete restoration. Twenty-year old Ashley believed she could do no wrong in her marriage; that it would never be ME who caused heartache for my husband. And she was so very wrong. But thirty-one year old Ashley now knows, knows that it is SO important to cling to my Maker. If the blinders start to come off for anything, it doesn’t have to be lust or a wandering heart, it can be ANYthing, I beg you to cling to Him too.

Asa and I had the privilege of sharing our story at Church and if you’d like to LISTEN to the live version we told together, here is the link! I do not believe that I in my heart wanted to be with someone else relationally. I believe that suddenly I felt trapped within the label of wife + mom. I didn’t feel attractive, I didn’t feel happy, and I didn’t feel like ME. Years of unbalanced hormones and even the physical toll that my body went through, my heart began to wander. I thank God SO immensely, for helping my husband stay with me. For being patient, loving, and so forgiving. I also thank Him for my mom, who had ultimately been in Asa’s position for a very long time, and that she also showed me what grace and mercy looks like in HER marriage. She and my dad are very different people today, in amazing and humbling ways. And it’s all because when the tide came and refused to back down, they learned to breathe with it. (That’s their own story though, so I really only want to stress how proud I am of THEM, and how much I deeply love their marriage.) To those of you reading this, if you have been there, you CAN rise again. If you are currently battling the feelings of shame and wondering how you can ever find normalcy again, pray. Talk to God, tell Him every single thing that you are feeling, and then find help. You can always email me, always! You do not have to be alone. And if you’re on the OTHER side? Where your husband or spouse has walked through unfaithfulness, you can still email me and if you would like to talk with my husband, I can put you in touch with him.

I love you all. Thank you for reading, for YOUR grace, and your friendship here.

Your Past Could Save Someone's Future

Immediately following sharing my own personal story at our church service recently, I was browsing Pinterest and saw this quote:

“Sometimes God redeems your story by surrounding you with people who need to hear your past, so it doesn’t become their future.” -John Acuff

WHOA, I thought. That’s DEEP.

I am hoping to share here soon what I talked about to our church, but I am still praying about the right timing. Nonetheless, prior to me getting on stage with my husband, I was pretty nervous that there would be no way I would have the words to say in front of a BUNCH of people sitting silently, especially because the lights at our church are SUPER bright and it feels like a total spotlight. Asa and I prayed beforehand that it would be the Lord’s words, not our own, that came to surface. Needless to say I was completely in awe that I did just fine. I was a little nervous? But not too bad deep down. I didn’t stutter, choke, or even tear up; the words just flowed. After it ended, a gal holding her baby approached me with tears in her eyes. “Thank you,” she said. “I can’t say more than thank you because I’ll just cry harder. So thank you.” I got her name and told her to please find me and talk with me if she felt she could. Then a few more women hugged me and encouraged me. One said, “I felt this was your first time sharing your story but I need to tell you that it shouldn’t be your last.”

So the thing is, with that quote above, we all have a story. Yours might not be that you had an affair, or were an alcoholic, or that you’re addicted to porn. But it’s still important! When a friend told me that she was currently dealing with what I did in my past, I almost started to cry.

“RUN!!!!!” is what I wanted to yell. But we were actually IN church when she told me and well, that would have been weird. If there is ANY way at all that I can spare another woman going through what I did; what I put my FAMILY through, oh friends I would. Do you have something that you wish could help someone be free? It took five years for me to fully heal. To feel okay with friends and family knowing some of my dirty laundry. The fact I was able to share openly in a congregation is 1000% because of the Lord and His healing. You might be thinking, “Ashley, I am not sharing my baggage, in a CHURCH…” But you don’t have to. I am just asking you to be open—if you have a friend or even acquaintance who you think NEEDS to hear your story? Be open to it.

And if you’re NOT there yet, trust the wait. Never in a thousand years did I think I would share the way that I have. Asa’s MOM, his sister, and his brother’s wife all sat in the front row. Stories are hard. Pain, suffering, guilt, shame—all very real things that make us want to be quiet and hush.

Brené Brown said it like this: “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we will ever do,” and I agree SO much! Your worst chapters might be someone else's freedom. Twenty-year old Ashley got married QUICK and never thought she would really stumble. But twenty-five year old Ashley took a swing and a giant miss at that naive assumption. I don’t have it all figured out now, and you know what, sharing my story is still scary. To me there are a lot of factors; things that can go right and lots of people I can help with it, but there’s also things that can go wrong I am sure. I know that you give Satan an inch and he’s gonna take a mile—but I also know that stories where it is proof that we are HUMAN, are most often the very ones apt to change someone else’s life.

Quote by: author John Acuff