Fearless, Feisty, Fabulous, FOUR

You know it's strange, with this one, I kind of felt like she would stay three forever. Two flew by but there were weeks and months of her being three that I remember longing for her to turn another year older. Well, here we are...at 9:56pm on September 14 she came into this world with hardly two pushes. "Look out world, I'm HERE!" is what I felt like her newborn self declared. From that minute, our Reese Elisabeth-Morgan has been nothing short of fearless, feisty, fabulous and NOW, she's four! 

Today for the most part, was pretty magical. I took the day off work to celebrate her birthday and we were so excited to spend a whole day together. Asa bought cupcakes for she and I to take to her preschool to celebrate snack time with her friends. We got there a little early so I was blessed to make it to some Chapel time. Reese sat on my lap and we listened to the story of Baby Moses and the kids recited Bible verses and the Lord's Prayer. It reminded me so much of my own Christian school elementary days, and I truly felt so blessed to be a small part of that part in their day. She sat with her friends at their table, everyone enjoyed seconds, and she colored some before we left to go back home. Once we were there, I surprised her by telling her I had made her a nail salon appointment; she has gotten her nails done once before with me and she absolutely LOVED it. My sweet friend Jess at Dollface Beauty and Brows booked me a slot with her co-worker Amy, who now runs the Glossry inside the shop; an adorable mani/pedi setup! 

Beforehand, we got ourselves some hot chocolate and a hot caramel apple cider, thanks, Please and Thank you! And Reese was feeling all sorts of spoiled, as she should! I had so much fun chatting with her in the booth; we talked about what a great morning it had already been and what she wanted to do next (which was go look around different shops nearby). 

At the salon, Reese sat perfectly still and picked out a shade of pink and a second bottle of all pink glitter. Amy was so sweet and patient, listening as Reese chatted her ear off. The other ladies who came in and out of the shop complimented Reese for her beautiful curls and for how good she was being. 

And I think that's where I just want to mention that it's been a little hard for me to write this post tonight. Wait, what? Ashley, what are you doing? Okay hold on. Do any of you have a 3-year old? Or at one point HAD a 3-year old? No, Reese isn't three anymore; but technically all day today until 9:56pm she still was, right? The past year has just been really hard on me emotionally and mentally--not constantly, but her moods would come in waves, and sometimes Reese has been sweet as pie and others, she's cutting straight to your heart with words and statements you can't believe just left her mouth. Tonight for instance, after everything we did together and the money spent ON her, she looked at me and said, "I don't like you." Shortly after that, I told her that she couldn't open another birthday present in THAT moment, and she said, "You're mean." 

Didn't I just spend literally ALL day with my daughter? Spoiling her and helping her feel beautiful and loved and celebrated? I know that you're not supposed to take the words of a toddler or ANY child to heart. But sometimes that's just not possible! It felt like a slap in the face. Like everything I had just done didn't matter. That maybe, just maybe, my daughter DIDN'T like me. 

Anyway, I won't continue a giant sob fest here on the blog, and the truth is, I'm fine. The end of her fourth birthday didn't go as I had planned, there were way more tears than I ever want to remember (so why am I writing it down?!!?), and overall, my mom heart is kind of aching at the fact that my kids ARE getting bigger--they're getting older, they're turning MORE human, and I know with that, comes lots of hurtful words, calloused phrases, and tons of opportunities for growth and redemption on ALL our parts. But I also know that she DOES love me. There's really no one else that she prefers (she loves you too, dear husband, but we all know this has been the last several years!) She isn't trying to be purposefully hurtful, at least I don't think? And I know she too, is just learning what's right and wrong.

I promise we really did have a GREAT day, and the weather temperature wise was just right... before the coffee shop and nails, Reese let me take some portraits of her in a tree covered space near our house. We talked about the colorful leaves, looked at different bugs, and she made me laugh, a lot. 

And we also explored some shops downtown Louisville this afternoon, admiring things we couldn't afford and sending me into panic at several moments at the thought of her dropping something expensive (ahem, everything we saw!) It was fun to hold hands and just giggle together, and I had some sentimental visions of our probable future together. My girl loves shopping, but I think more than anything else, she loves quality time. 

Reese Elisabeth-Morgan, I do love you. And no matter what you say over the years, I promise to forever be your very best friend. You are brave, passionate, independent, and you have already in four short years, taught me SO much. While it hurts a bit to watch you and your big brother grow so quickly...please know that I will always be here. I'll always be your shoulder, your hug, your belly tickle, your lullabye, your prayer warrior, your friend, and your mom. Thank you for being you, I am so excited (and slightly terrified) to see where four leads you! 

xox
-Your Mama

Princess Reese and Her Fourth Birthday Party

Every time I scroll through these photos my heart just kinda flops. Four years ago, I gave birth for the last time. The waiting was painful, because I was always an anxious pregnant person. For over a week, I was at 3cm dilated, and I thought surely she would be earlier than her brother (who was born five days before his due date.) Finally, when I decided to give up on all the natural methods of inducing labor, well, she came (three days before HER due date!) In five short hours from start to finish, Reese Elisabeth-Morgan was welcomed into this world and I'm sitting here today wondering HOW? How was it that long ago? How did she go from newborn to baby to toddler to KID, so fast?! 

Well y'all, this weekend we threw her a party, and it was a great one to say the least. Her actual birthday is this coming week, on the 14th, so you better believe I'm holding tightly to these last few days of her being THREE! 

Over the last year she has fallen in love with the Classic Disney princesses, so this year, that's what she verbalized wanting party wise. Last year, she had a Frozen themed celebration, and she was very clear that she wanted ALL the princesses for this one. We are so grateful to Proflowers to providing her with gifted bouquets, they were (and still are) absolutely stunning. The Day Lillies have made our home smell like heaven, oh my goodness! And we're also thankful for Sharis Berries for the complimentary strawberries, miniature birthday cake, cake pops and delicious cookies! As a blogger, I am most grateful for the lasting relationships that are built, and by far, those companies are two of my absolute favorite. 

Nords Bakery has done our cakes EVERY single birthday for both Pierson and Reese, and this one did not disappoint. Raspberry filled vanilla; our favorite!! And a Kroger Bakery win for the cupcakes. They threw in the princess ring cupcake toppers and the kids were in LOVE. We are so grateful for both bakeries for being prompt and doing such a great job with all that I envisioned for Reese's big day. 

Reese was so well celebrated and loved by all who came; though I missed my blood relatives immensely. My big brother Sean and his wife Beth, my parents, and my oldest brother Nathan--I am so grateful for my husband's family (who most of are local and able to come!) but you can't help missing your own mama and siblings right? :) Her friends from church are so good and sweet to her, and her cousins of course; we are very blessed by all! 

My mom sent her a Belle dress and when I opened it in the mail I literally almost cried. It is GORGEOUS. I decided to surprise Reese with it, and after everyone ate the desserts, I told her to come with me. I led her to my closet and asked if she saw anything that may be a surprise for her, and she shrieked, grabbing her face, "OH MY WORD!!!!!!" To say she was elated is an understatement. I dressed her in the beautiful gown and together we made our way to the family and friends waiting for her to open her gifts. 

She was so thankful for ALL the presents, and with each one opened she exclaimed all the squeals and giddy banter with those sitting around her. Really I can't express enough how thankful I am for the friends in our lives, and for everyone who came to shower our baby girl with love and memories! 

Last but not last least; it was time for the big surprise. Kent Bikes reached out to me about a month ago and offered to gift us with some bikes in their line, and I couldn't resist. The rest are coming a little later, but Reese received hers before her big party. We decided to assemble it and to have that be her very last present of the days. She got a bike last year for her third birthday but she's grown SO fast, that we knew it was time to get her a taller one. When I saw Pinkalicious being an option, I couldn't resist! Reese has SO many Pinkalicious books and even I am obsessed with her character. Thank you, Kent Bikes, for such an amazing moment we were able to capture. We can't wait to ride together as a family soon! 

Do you think she's animated enough? Ha ha ha!!! This girl, I tell ya! The life of the party, the most expressive and articulate three (almost four)-year old I know... there's never a dull moment.

Some current favorites of Reese's: 

-Her gray blanket, that she's had literally forever 
-Her bitty babies, Lizzie and Toby, both original American Girls of mine
-Drawing stick people with straight ("smiley") faces
-You are My Sunshine (still, from day one) 
-She adores all the cousins, but Idina, the middle kiddo of Asa's brother, is who she claims as her "best friend..." even though sweet Deena is four years older! 
-Princesses, clearly 
-Going to preschool; she's excelling and thriving by leaps and bounds!! 
-A BOY, named Mark (currently in her class, omg) who she refers to as her boyfriend? Oh heaven help me! We don't make it a huge deal however, since she currently goes to a Christian academy and I'm convinced every single tiny human in her class is wonderful 
-Cuddling
-Queso; YES...QUESO (that's our girl!!) 
-Going out to eat at restaurants (in particular, Chilis. Thanks, Uncle Clayton!!) 
-Dancing and singing and dancing and singing; I'm pretty sure she's half Troll
-Clothes shopping (YAAAAAAS! We will have so much fun!!!!!!) 
-Her dad's homemade 'Alfie Pasta' and all things pasta in particular (yup, she's mine!) 

Reese Elisabeth, we are so proud of you. There aren't enough words in this blog post or anywhere that can express my love to you. God knew what He was doing when He scared the heck out of me with you, and I am so glad that He did. You're a natural born leader, one tough cookies, and you have THE best laugh. You can make anyone smile, and you're an excellent friend. You're intelligent, brave, courageous and fierce. YOU, dear, are my princess, and the greatest one at that. Happy fourth birthday (officially in a few days), thank you for being YOU. While yes, I partially mourn the days of your babyhood, I also can't wait to see the good you will continue to do for this world. 

xoxox, 
Mama

Do You Blog the Bad Days?

Recently I had the GREAT honor of speaking to my dear friend (Tim Burri's) 5th grade writing classes. As our state's BIG standardized test approaches, in preparation he saw that the students may have 'blog' come up as one of their options for an on-demand writing piece. Because he is the best at tooting my horn, Tim asked if I would come present to his classes and give them some more information on what blogging is, and how voice specifically is important while writing. I had the BEST time with those kids, I'll actually write a full post about my experience there later. One of the questions in particular fits my day today JUST perfectly: "What about when you have a bad day?" a boy in the very front row asked. "Do you blog about it?" Several students actually said super quickly, "No!!!" and I kind of laughed.  

"You know what, Buddy?" I replied. "The BAD days are sometimes the best TO write about." 

So here I am, on a Friday afternoon, my head actually splitting, wishing that our morning had been easier than it was. I am not sure what it is about my son being 'almost five' that seems to have changed his disposition so greatly, but oh mercy has it ever changed. Why is it always something? [I know the answer to that: this is life with little kids, period. But still.] Two was pretty much magical for both of our kids [terrible two's was NOT a thing here,] but both sets of THREE had extreme difficulties. My husband and I have always said that four is the magic number, but some days? I'm not so sure. 

This isn't meant to be a "you-know-what-fest," because my son is wonderful. And I think 95% of the time, he is the sweetest soul. He is considerate, gentle, sensitive, thoughtful, funny, loving, creative, intelligent, he is everything good. But lately, many of his moments are spent being argumentative with me. I feel like I am constantly trying to help him re-word his phrases, to ask for things in a kinder way, and to explain to him when he asks, "why?" that it's BECAUSE I SAID SO! 

Didn't you hate that phrase?! Yet, it seriously comes out of my mouth more times than I care to admit. There is only SO long that you can try to have a rational conversation with a four-year old. Or three-year old. And I'm guessing with a ten, eleven, thirteen, sixteen, eighteen-year old? [Parents of older children, feel free to fill me in in the comments below. Mom, I'm guessing you have a thing or two to say here? Ha ha.] The other thing that has been challenging is that he wants me to force my daughter Reese, to play with him, ALL the time. And Reese will happily play with him for 10-15 minutes [is that short? It feels like a decade....] when suddenly she'll change her mind and say, "I don't want to play with you!" and leaves the room. Even if it's her room. And he SCREAMS for me, "MOM!!! REESE SAID SHE DOESN'T WANT TO PLAY WITH ME!!!!!!!" 

Well, now I'm teaching the 3-year old how to politely express that she may want to play alone, and then the 4-year old that it's OKAY if his sister doesn't want to play. It's just felt like a lot....and tomorrow he'll be super obedient, sweet as pie, and I'll want to eat his face off with kisses. And as I'm sitting here typing, I'm realizing that I don't really like the word 'bad.' Today wasn't bad. It was just hard. It was a lot of saying their names, sitting them down, mediating, teaching, discipling, and mothering. But that's what I want to do. Is to mother. And to teach them, and help them, and be here for them...so really what I'm realizing, is that days like today ultimately just teach ME something, the mom, the grownup, the adult in the room. 

I learned that even in the bad, there's nowhere I'd rather be. 

But now I want to hear from you: 

-What ages and stages were the most challenging for you as a mom? The two's, three's, four's, teen's, twenties....HA! 
-Specifically, do you remember when your kids were three and four? Did your kid have a "threenager" stage? What do you remember about four? 
-What do we have to look forward to about five? Because I'm literally depressed over the fact that my first BABY is turning FIVE in just two months. And he reminds me daily. It's good, right? 
-What have been your FAVORITE stages of your kids' childhood? If you say ALL of it, I may slap you. 
-Next, share ANY single thing you want to share: the good days, the bad, the funniest most recent memory, the most horrific...I want to hear them! Comment below or contact me via the contact page! 

Hello, Boyhood!

Summer vacation is FINALLY here and we are so excited for what these months will bring! Truth be told though, I am struggling with one part of it: my sweet first born will be turning four in just a few short weeks. When Pierson was a newborn, we received a beautiful plaque from one of my husband's friends. It read: "Nonsense. Young boys should never be sent to bed. They always wake up a day older, and then before you know it, they're grown." -J.M. Barrie

Well, little did I know how true of words these were. I feel as if we brought him home yesterday and here we are...saying goodbye to his toddler years! So for parents with babies, this one's for you. If you have a toddler, wonderful! People tell me, "The best is yet to come," and while I'm convinced they say that just to be empathetic and sweet, I have found that my heart loves my children more each day. I don't know how that's possible, since the love currently residing there is so powerful, but I'm hopeful that the moments ahead of us are going to be just as beautiful. 

I'm often asked what I love about the ages and stages of my children. I've said it before, but I will never believe anyone who says that "two is the worst." I'm sorry if you've had a different experience, but our son was so much FUN at two. My daughter, who is the prime of two currently, is continuing this fact for us that this age is just magical. So what's three? I've written a post here before called, 'In the Trenches with a Threenager,' and I meant every word. For a few short (felt like never-ending) months, Pierson was r-o-u-g-h. The tantrums, the whininess, the complaints and the indecisiveness. But when those moments passed, out came the sweetest, most endearing and polite child I could have ever prayed for! This kid has been saying 'I love you' on repeat, explaining to me all the reasons why he loves his house, his pets, his new bunkbeds (thank you, Walker Edison Furniture!!!) and his family. He's always said great prayers, but now he lays in the bottom bunk, and goes into such great detail about who and what he is thankful for. With the days passing quickly, he seems so much older, so much more grown. A few nights ago we snuggled together and with a flashlight, did numerous shadow puppets on the bed above us. He giggled so loudly and then wrapped his arms around my neck as he said, "Mom, I love you SO much." So guess what? Now I am convinced... three is my favorite. 

But wait, two is my favorite too! And I loved the newborn stage, the baby stage, the twelve month stage, so perhaps after all, I have just loved it ALL? Moms of older or grown children, right now you are nodding with me. You might also be thinking, "This lady is a little crazy, but she's right. Every single stage you will love your children more and more." Pierson's toddler years are almost gone. He looks forward to turning four and has been asking repeatedly for a sleepover in his new bunkbed with the cousins. He loves all things Avengers and can't wait to have a 'Captain America cake and balloons,' (his requests.)

Parents who fear the 'threenager year,' please don't. People will tell you that the terrible two's are hardly survivable and that three is even worse. These years, they are so fleeting and in the blink of an eye, you will be holding your almost 4-year old saying, "Where did this time GO?" I remember his crib and I remember lying silently beside it when he was a tiny babe falling asleep. The transition to a 'big boy bed' came so fast, it was the month after he turned two. His twin bed felt so enormous to me and when I saw him there, sitting proudly in the middle of it, I held back tears as I cheered him on. Over the last year he has been a huge fan of Peppa Pig and in the cartoon, she has a bunkbed. "Maybe I can get a bunkbed, Mom!" he would say. When the opportunity arose to work with Walker Edison, I couldn't pass it up. And when the box arrived on our front porch, I thought Pierson was going to lose his ever-loving mind with excitement. Within two hours, my husband had it up and ready to be slept on and I thought, "Here we go again. Hold your tears back, Mama." 

Life looks different now. My children no longer need me the way in which they did as babies, but you all know this. And they do still need me to read them books and sing them lullabies. They need me to cuddle under the covers (or for my daughter's sake who Lord help me, hasn't been transitioned to a big bed yet)--in the rocking chair. They need me to pray with them and teach them, walk beside them and laugh with them. June 15, this awesome kid is turning four, but my heart is open wide to the adventures that await with this new and exciting age. I'll hold tightly the years behind us, and I'm giving a huge HELLO to his boyhood. 

*A sincere special thanks to Walker Edison Furniture for this collaboration and your beautiful bunkbeds! We are so in love!!*