Hi There, I'm Jack Bogart

Well, Friends. We did a thing.

Golden Retrievers are basically my love language, so it was a no brainer when Asa and I finally felt ready to add to our clan. We prayed and prayed and looked and looked and ultimately decided that Great Golden Breeding near Morehead, Kentucky would be where our new pup came from. We picked him up on Labor Day and trust me when I say it was SO hard to choose. ALL of the boy puppies were so great! We knew we wanted a boy because Asa has missed HIS boy so dearly—our wonderful Humphrey Bogart, and we wanted to get another guy in his honor. That’s why his name is Jack Bogart. After our sweet boy we had twelve incredible years with.

We were number three in line to choose from the male puppies, and when we got there, we knew we had chosen the right breeder. Farah was incredible, kind, patient, and very helpful and her facility for the pups was wonderful! It was such a fun memory that I hope our kids remember forever!

Not a day goes by that I don’t miss our Elsa Noel. My first American Golden. This boy is in honor of BOTH Asa and I’s first kids ;) Welcome to the family, Jack Bogart. So far we call you Jack Jack, Jackie Boy, and Reese calls you Bubba.

Emma sure was surprised and as reserved as I was to GET another dog, gosh they both make my heart so full. She adores him SO much and he just loves her. They play and play and Emma is so patient and gentle with her new baby. We wrapped him up and told her we had gotten her a gift.

Bring on the potty training, some sleepless nights, and ALL the Golden kisses. Here’s to the newest chapter in our life. We are very, very excited!

No Half Truths. Marriage is Hard. Period.

Marriage.

A topic you all know I am super passionate about, and one that I absolutely love sharing about WITH you. I have a question for you though before I dive in:

What means the most to you when you are following someone you admire on Instagram or social channels? What type of person are you drawn to, inspired by, strive to be a LITTLE like in your own journey here on Earth.

For ME, I am drawn to people who tell the truth. I love funny people, because who doesn’t like to laugh? I love when someone I admire can share their realness, their raw struggles, and when they can offer a glimmer of hope to a situation I am personally walking through. So let me tell you when I recently discovered that a favorite famous couple of mine is DIVORCING…after ENDLESS time listening to their podcasts, reading their books, and supposedly learning from them on how to make MY marriage even greater…

I WAS TICKED.

I’m not here to judge anyone and I am not here to judge relationships, period. I believe everyone’s situation is very unique; sometimes a marriage isn’t safe to stay in. Some are toxic, dangerous, and often if there is betrayal by one, a couple cannot move forward and separating is truly what is best for THEM. Your story is your story, do not feel I am judging you, there is no space for that in this blog.

But when a public figure is literally writing books and putting out podcasts on how GREAT their marriage is or was, and that is entirely NOT the truth…well, I’ve been a little miffed. Honest to goodness, one of the podcasts was called ‘Keeping Your Relationship Strong During Quarantine,” Guys. Just a few months later on June 8th it was announced that their ‘journey as a married couple was ending….’ and that they had ‘worked endlessly over the last three years to make this work…’

WHY WAS IT NEVER TALKED ABOUT!?!

I totally get that a LOT of people don’t want to air their dirty laundry. And you don’t HAVE to!! But when you are literally building an EMPIRE and making millions of dollars from your advice on having a healthy marriage…it’s just not right. It’s a bummer, a let down, a total disappointment, and honestly feels like a slap in the face. What happened?! When did the struggle start?! WHY did it start? Was there ever any hope? What was done to try to fix it? Was it none of my business (perhaps…?!?) As far as I knew, I wasn’t following a fictional public speaker, y’all. The podcasts weren’t supposed to be made up or fictional STORIES—they were all ‘real life!’ All along, I thought they were so authentic, tried and true transparent, admirable, trustworthy, and honest with their audience.

Or were they?

I think it’s obvious I’m still a little hurt. I don’t have ill intent for their lives, or for their future relationships. I am just missing the truth. And honestly I am kind of regretting how much time I listened to their podcasts whenever I’ve spent long hours in the car; I’m sure they’ve loved each other. I am positive of it. But why not just be honest with the community you have built…struggles are real. Marriage is hard. Sometimes we all may want to walk away. And that doesn’t make you bad or less than or inferior. It just makes you HUMAN.

Do YOU know it is okay to be HUMAN? Are you sure you fully believe that? I believe I am a sinner saved by grace and the blood of Jesus. When I almost walked away from MY marriage in 2014, I felt shame, disgust, guilt, and even hatred for myself. I kept quiet for YEARS. Hardly anyone knew, and even those who were the closest to me only knew bits and pieces. But in 2019 the Lord put it on BOTH Asa and I’s heart to share that story and those chapters of our lives.

NOW our story very much looks like losing our mind some days parenting…feeling stressed by our diabetic cat…figuring out schedules of horses and barn time…figuring out schedules and routine as a family…Some days it’s hard to have sex (gasp), to not be overly tired, to turn off work mode (for me) and I could really go on. We have very much moved past giant obstacles of being in a marriage, but by no means does that mean our days are easy breezy ;)

Instagram had become a place where I naturally wanted to empower and uplift women. I have used it as a space for transparency for many years, where I am okay talking about my struggles and hardships and where I try to offer hope and encouragement to those who a part of my ‘tribe.’ In 2019 I wrote that blog post, prayed over it, released it into the vast world wide web and I continue to pray over it. Countless couples have emailed me or messaged through Instagram and it was such a huge eye opener of how many people have struggled in the ways that I have.

Asa and I’s story is not your story; it is not anyone’s exact story. And I think the fact that we all have stories of our own is a beautiful thing. How much could we learn from one another if we were willing to be a little transparent? We struggled through the sadness and grief that year and I am humbled by the grace, restoration, and redemption we found in our marriage. Quarantine has been good for us too. Honestly we haven’t really had any fights (I know, it’s insane…) and I want to remind you, that does NOT mean we are perfect!! That means we are finding a good flow with our relationship; we have learned to listen to each other so much better these past almost 12 years, and we have been very good to take deep breaths and THINK before we speak too much (especially when one of us is overly stressed or irritated.)

I pray you have good people around you—someone you can confide in and be real with. I don’t expect you all to start a blog and write about the hardships in your lives. Sharing in the way that I share isn’t for everyone :) But I do it with the pursuit of offering you some hope. Marriage is hard. It’s messy and full of tears and lots of cuss words; and it is also beautiful. My biggest take away from my rant above about the couple who divorced, is that it is so important not to idolize ANYONE. We can be disappointed (clearly I’ve felt it), but let’s just be mindful of the information we take in. The biggest reason for me that I feel deceived, is because they were selling me, their reader and listener and viewer, their authentic marriage that just wasn’t really authentic much at all.

What’s your take away on this? What are you learning or have you learned throughout your married (or dating or single!) years? I’d love to hear from you, make sure to comment or shoot me an email here!

The Summer We Didn't Set Out to Have

There was no beach trip. No walking the shore at sunrise or sunset. No white sand or avoiding jellyfish. There wasn’t a single day spent where we asked, ‘pool or beach?’ This year, our slow days looked different. The outings looked different. This was, after all, the summer that was different.

And then it dawned on me…maybe this was the perfect summer after all?

My kids fought…a LOT. I think it is literally safe to say that a day did not go by that they did NOT fight? They are fifteen months apart, and they are basically day and night different from one another. Recently my sister in law asked how I was doing, and in that exact moment, I was SO tired and SO overwhelmed. I said, “Jae, I am SO tired of my KIDS. I know that is SO incredibly terrible to say….” but it was the truth. I’m sure I had been picking up clutter or cleaning or vacuuming for the gazillionth time, and I was having a tired Mom moment. And then I heard them laughing—cracking up actually. They had been wrestling (their new favorite past time) and something clearly became funny and they were so happy. Their laugh was contagious and I started smiling, then chuckling, then I had to go find them and I started laughing too.

ALL of this time, together. Just us. Our family. Four very imperfect people. Within these walls you’ll find our three cats, one precious angel of a dog, and the four of us humans, clearly.

We have gone on a LOT of walks. We’ve been on a lot of trails. We’ve caught fish (by we there I mean my husband and son…) We’ve caught snakes (by we I mean ME on that one…) We’ve gone boating and floating in a local lake, we’ve gone horseback riding, and exploring. We’ve worked out together, ran together, learned more about God together, and really, we’ve loved one another.

These photos are from a random day we decided to wade at a nearby creek…they remind me of the summer that we didn’t necessarily set out to have, but the one that we will never, ever forget.

I realize it is not necessarily the norm for kids to have both parents who are teachers…and that summer vacations look very different for a lot of the city, state, and even world. I don’t take it lightly that we are incredibly blessed, and every single day I thank God that while I have had my moments of being tired and/or fed-up as their mom…I would not trade it for anything. Our son Pierson turned eight this summer…which theoretically means he has what, ten more summers under our roof? Sure, he can choose to stay well after he’s eighteen…but you know what I mean. The days may be long but the years are literally soaring. I thank God for photos, for these moments, and by golly dare I say it, yes, I thank Him for this summer.

Christmas in July and Why it was a Must This Year

2020. The year that will never end, right?? From a global pandemic, and systemic racial oppression, a tanking economy, fear and uncertainty, and everything in-between...this has been a tough year for everyone. (Oh yeah, and flippin Murder Hornets? They were a thing too.) We left our classrooms in March not knowing what in the world would be next, and come August, we will return to school once again…online. The kids miss their friends, their teachers, socializing, and let’s face it, we honestly miss the normal work routine as well and being able to mingle with our co-workers. There has been tension, stress, a lot of unknowns, and a LOT of sadness and negativity flooding social media.

We decided it was time for something happy.
We decided that Christmas in July was a must this year.
…so we did it!
Once the kids went to sleep on July 23rd Asa got out some of our Christmas decorations and we (he..) got to work.

We set our alarms on the 24th and woke before the kids did. Reese is usually the first to wake right at 8am and she was right on time ‘Christmas Eve’ morning. As we drank our coffee and beamed up at her, she was SO confused. As soon as she came around the corner and actually saw the Christmas trees with presents underneath, she sprinted to Pierson’s room and excitedly woke him up. Their reactions were priceless and the joy in our home felt like a warm blanket. They looked at the presents (they each got a total of seven) and then we sat on the couch to watch Christmas movies (starting with Curious George’s Christmas that they have loved since they were toddlers.) Our plans were to spend the next two days together as a family (not that we haven’t had a ton of just family time), but to be more intentional with the things we did; baking cookies, cooking, coloring, decorating, creating, movies together, and big holiday like meals. We had Asa’s mama over as she typically joins us Christmas Eve, and after dinner Asa read the Birth of Jesus to all of us and then we watched a Christmas Story. We baked Gingerbread cookies with a Lemon Cream Cheese Frosting, and earlier in the day we went to Lotsa Pasta to get fresh ravioli for the next night’s dinner. The home was just the right amount of Christmas decor—and the whole mood of the house just felt so peaceful.

On July 25th we had breakfast and then let the kids open their gifts. Again, they got 7 each, and we wrapped things separately like paint by itself, paintbrushes, canvas’s, and then Reese got a couple of dresses and Pierson got a couple of new pairs of shoes. It wasn’t about the presents or spoiling the kids—this was all to create a happy memory for all of us for what has been such a tough and challenging year.

I diffused our Christmas Spirit oil in ALL our diffusers around the clock the entire two days. When we say it smells like ‘Christmas in a bottle,’ we totally mean it. It’s a little spicy, a tad sweet, and just smells completely heavenly. (Want it for yourself? Leave a comment here and I’ll hook you up!) Overall, we highly recommend participating in Christmas in July yourself. You don’t have to go BIG, you don’t have to set up a ginormous tree, just make it what you want and how you want! We used our porch tree from Treetopia and the pre-lit garland that we had from the same company. I had a lot of people message me and say they wanted to do this but it seemed like so much work; my husband will tell you it probably took him an hour start to finish [he is the speedy decorator, again, he is kin to Buddy the Elf so it’s just in his blood,] and he would also tell you it was completely 1000% worth it. August is around the corner, online school will be happening at LEAST the first six weeks (let’s face it.. probably longer..) and we are just praying we can take it ALL in stride and that everyone can stay healthy and happy.