Motherhood and Sick Days

Most days I don’t think about my role, being Mom just seems normal. But there are a couple instances when I have felt like my heart is walking outside of my body and one of the times was when I went on vacation for the first time without my kids, and Asa and I were simply ALONE. Just the two of us. Without our kids. The first day I remember being somewhat giddy and excited and READY for several days with JUST my husband. And then I woke the next morning and my heart had disappeared. GONE. I was anxious and confused and overwhelmed and wondering constantly IF my kids were okay. Would the sitters remember to do this or that or what to sing them or how to comfort them? My heart was outside of my chest as I walked around the city and the beach, and as people passed us by—”They don’t know that I’m a Mom,” I thought.

To some of you, that may sound crazy ;) But to many of you, you’re like, “I get it.”

Once you’re Mom, you’re MOM. And while often you may not think about it because you’re doing the day in and day out and the chores and routine…but do you KNOW how important this role IS?

Enter how I have recently began to feel on sick days. Not my sick days, where I’m feeling like crap and missing MY mom—but the days where fevers are burning my sweet kiddos bodies, their heads are throbbing with headaches, their legs are weak with fatigue, they’re cranky and emotional and exhausted. These days. My heart starts walking outside of my chest and it grasps at their six and seven year old selves. My role as MOM explodes with such uniqueness. I think it was when our kids turned four and five and the baby and toddler days just felt so far behind me; that was when it hit me like a ton of bricks that these days are FLEETING. When they’re sick, who do they want?

Mom.

Dads and husbands, please don’t take offense at this post. Lord knows my kids ADORE their Dad and he is quite literally the BEST Dad there is. Our kids will sit on his lap and rock with him and cuddle, but then it’s time for Mom. The phrase used to be, “Mommy put me down,” when they couldn’t construct great sentences. Now they can actually say, “I love you, Dad. I want Mommy…”

There’s something about being needed isn’t there? Maybe that’s mostly what it is... Having tiny souls want you and need you and love you with all of their being. I kind of laughed as I wrote this out, it sounds so SELFISH. But this blog is really for me to remember how I feel. When our kids are sick, the Mom gene inside of me goes full fledge into overdrive and I’m there for it all. When they wake crying because their fever spikes, my feet fly up the stairs. I hum and sing and stroke their foreheads. I bring fresh cups of ice water and fill their diffusers with all the right blends to make their rooms cozy and clean. There’s something about being MOM on their sick days, that is so fulfilling; that is so valuable. They won’t always need me the way that their little selves do. And I finally understand how my own mom must feel with her daughter living six hours away. Probably like a piece or two of HER heart is outside of her chest… (I wonder if she knows how I FEEL when I am sick?!) When a fever hits me, guess who is the first for me to text and complain to? Yup…my mom!

Also don’t get me wrong—I don’t LIKE when our kids are sick. Heavens, no. I know that there are sicknesses FAR WORSE and more severe than the colds and viruses ours come down with; all I really mean, is that sometimes it is mundane to be Mom, when really there is nothing mundane about it. When they were newborns and then toddlers and were needing me on sick days, it was so different than it is now. It consisted of a lot more HOLDING and rocking and nursing and cuddling. They keep getting older; their legs keep getting longer and more difficult to fit on my lap…they keep becoming more independent.

But they keep needing me. And I pray to God that I NEVER take that for granted.

These thoughts inspired me to create a FREEBIE for YOU. Sign up below to grab my new download, ‘Wellness Support for You & Your Littles.’ Save it, print it, share it, use it. And if you have any questions, always email me! I love hearing from my readers and I am so thankful for ALL of you.

Happy One Year to You, Emma Rose!

From the beginning, we thought Emma would be our Healer. Little did we know how true that would end up being…do you remember when we first got her!? She was seven weeks old and I wrote a post when she was nine weeks, about how wonderful and sweet she was. Well, good news, she STILL is, and never had we have SUCH a cuddly and docile dog. Truthfully I can’t remember a TON about Elsa when she was one year old, but I remember she didn’t crave human touch and cuddling AS much as our little Emma does. It has been so fun to see and watch Emma grow, from a teeny tiny puppy to a gorgeous one year old DOG.

Emma is an English Creme Golden Retriever who we purchased from Cold Spring Mountain Retrievers located in Chuckey, TN. We made it a fun overnight trip with our kids and we came back home with our sweet little girl pup. She has been such a good dog since day but, however we often joke that she is part Humphrey [our chocolate Lab who passed away last spring, whom she adored] and part Elsa [our Golden.] Humphrey loved mischief and he could be pretty sneaky at times…Emma has surprised us a few times with her own curiosity, but she overall, she has been such a trustworthy girl. She does not climb on the furniture, she does not destroy household things [though she did nibble once on our wooden coffee table when she was teething], but frankly, we have been amazed at simply how GOOD she is.

I still swear it’s largely the breed…she and Elsa are the reason that I will ALWAYS want a Golden Retriever. They don’t lick, they don’t jump, they are patient and empathetic, gentle and incredibly loving. When it is muddy outside, Emma knows to sit on a towel right by the door and wait for her paws to be cleaned. When it’s bath time and she is too filthy to just towel down, she knows to go into our shower and she sits and waits to be cleaned up?! Like, HOW?! It makes me giggle thinking about her adorable traits, and ever so grateful that we chose HER.

Flip through the slideshow below to see some of my absolute favorites (though there are so many more, haha. You know me and my picture taking……) xox

She’s a girl with lots of nicknames, one is often Emma Lou. Growing up my childhood dog and best Christmas present EVER, was a white lab who I named Holly Lou. I’m not positive why it was Lou…? But she too, was an ANGEL of a dog. She took to my oldest brother Nathan the most, he has special needs and I think she always just knew. Naturally Emma Lou just flows from my mouth, but she’s lots of names. Emma Rose, Emma Rosie, Emma Lou, Emmie Girl—but the moral of the story is that she has healed in our hearts in so many ways and we are so in love with her fluffy, white, adorable self! Happy first birthday, Emma Rose!

Don't Miss the Holiday

As you get older, do you feel as if the days are going by even faster…? I remember saying this pretty much as soon as I became a mama. The days were flying by, though sometimes the weeks themselves felt long. The same rings true today, and almost more. Somehow, my kids are six and seven years old. Gone are the baby days; the days when bottles were being heated, diapers being changed, and when my babies were snuggled warm and cozy in fleece onesie pajamas. I try to embrace each year, but guys, they’re going so fast. In this moment, I am thanking God that I invested in a good camera, taught myself how to take photos with it, and that I can use it to capture these days.

We’ve looked forward to Christmas since November, let’s face it. I married an Elf and basically St. Nick himself, so each year it seems we start to decorate and prepare earlier and earlier. I’m not complaining though—the twinkle lights, gorgeous garland, family village pieces, and the beautiful Christmas tree bring SUCH an indescribable JOY to the home. This season, we are trying so hard to just ENJOY IT. Not to rush it; not to go from one thing to the next, and not to worry about the messes being made [too much anyway.]

Have you ever wished you could simply freeze time? Just for a moment. Or two.. or for a few years. I know I have and that I do often. There have been so many days that I am running from one thing to the next, constantly thinking, “What’s next?” and this year, Asa and I have tried to be intentional to just SLOW DOWN. I suppose no matter how hard I try, the days do keep speeding by…but we are still challenging ourselves to live as intentionally as possible with them. “Don’t miss the Holiday trying to make the Holiday,” has been Asa’s mantra and I completely agree. I hope you enjoy looking through these photos our Gingerbread House memory; this was the first time we have done this [I’m not sure how that’s possible?!] and it was so fun! (And messy…) :)

Will You Adopt Me? Late Night Thoughts From This Teacher/Mama's Heart

Have you ever been asked by a child, “Will you adopt me?”

I will NEVER forget when I was asked those four words. It brought back memories of when I opened our front door on Jackson Street close to downtown Louisville, and my favorite little boys stood there in front of me, eyes wide and full of anticipation—they said, “Our brother was killed last night.” Two different scenarios, but the feeling in my soul felt the same. What do you say? To a child with innocent eyes, whose heart is beyond broken; what HOPE can you offer them?

The moment in which I was asked if I could adopt is one with a lot of background. She was a former student, who I had as a fourth and fifth grader…Enter middle school, and she was back in a location where she was in need of treatment for some really poor choices she had made. After she confided in me the numerous [poor] decisions that she had made, including running away from her foster home, was when she said, “Mrs. Glass, will YOU adopt me?!”

I am always honest with my students. I don’t believe in sugar coating but at the same time, I also don’t believe in being MEAN. So in a kind but upfront tone, which she was very familiar with, I said, “Girl, what do you expect me to do with that information!? I have two small kids at home; how could this work with everything you JUST told me?” What do you think she said…….?

“But Mrs. Glass, I would BE good. I would be great for you and Mr. Glass.”

In March of 2019, there were over 10,000 children in the state of Kentucky in foster care. I tell you this not to overwhelm you, but to show you that the need for care of children is very REAL where I live. There is an epidemic of neglect, parental drug use, abandonment, abuse, and more. And this is on my heart, ALL THE TIME.

It was time for me to head home that day, so I smiled and told her that I hope she knows I love her, and that I really needed her to take care of herself. She smiled back and HAPPILY said, “Okay, Mrs. Glass. Tell Mr. Glass I said hi!”

Flash forward to the summer of 2019. We had been traveling a lot, and my mind was in that ‘I’m on vacation mode,’ which means I wasn’t in school or student mode. But she still crossed my mind often, and I was still praying for her a lot. And then I woke up to an email in my inbox.

“I am contacting you to see if you would like to be part of her support network OR consider her for adoption,” it read. It was her adoption recruiter who was reaching out, and she went on to say that this student had identified me as someone who she significantly looked up to, and I had a good relationship with.” Y’all. I felt WRECKED.

As I read, internally I was feeling a gazillion different things. I knew I (WE) couldn’t exactly say YES to adoption; we hardly knew (know) her, and there are a lot of risks when taking on that sort of responsibility with children who have suffered from psychiatric challenges, and who have had a LOT of trauma in their personal lives—especially when you have your own young kids to think about. But I at that moment knew without a doubt God was (is) doing SOMETHING in our lives with this young lady. Asa was so supportive from the beginning of this, as he always is (thank you, Lord for an amazing and empathetic husband!!) and he said, “Ash, we’ll figure it out. We can absolutely be part of her support system, whatever that may entail.” I quickly e-mailed her worker back and told her that I would 1.) check with my workplace and see what the protocol was and 2.) that we were definitely interested in helping however she thought we could.

Then, the rest of the summer it went kinda quiet. I thought about her daily, wondering how she was, WHERE she was, and praying that the Lord would continue to do HIS will and that I wouldn’t be selfish in any of this, or trying to be the hero. From the beginning she was someone I connected with, who I desperately wanted to help and who I saw as someone who could be SO successful…if she was with the right family. This is a teenage girl, who I honestly believe has never experienced what it means to BELONG. Her younger siblings were adopted all together, and she was left, yet again, alone. I don’t know if she knows what it feels like to be loved by a parent or an adult in general. Truth be told, I don’t know her well at ALL—but you know what?

GOD DOES.

Thankfully I was given the okay to be on her contact list, and that was the next step. And then a month or so ago, I received another inquiry from her case worker—this time she informed me that the student was going into a new foster family, but her team was wondering if we would consider being Respite Care for her should the family need it. Yet again, that was something Asa and I had to talk about, and ultimately we decided YES, we would. I told her worker that ideally, we would be able to meet with her and get to know her better before they hypothetically call us for that, so that’s where we have left off! I’ve been able to have several phone calls with this sweet teen this month and each one has been SO happy and positive. I always ask, “What’s GOOD?” and ask positively framed questions. I go soon to have an in person visit with her and I am SO excited.

Maybe wherever you are tonight, you wouldn’t mind saying a prayer for her? I can’t say names and I won’t ever talk about things that are protected through privacy laws, but God will know who you are talking about! She’s thirteen, has a heart of gold, and is just a kid who needs to be loved. I am praying that her current foster family is one of the GOOD ones, that she can be willing to BE loved by them, and that she is SAFE. I want so badly for her to choose success, to choose life, to choose hope.

Thanks, sweet friends. If you can’t tell, my heart tends to break for those who need rescuing. I recently started teaching high school and it was mind-blowing to me how many of my current students are also in foster care…one fourteen year old recently found out that he wasn’t going back to a family member to live with and he said, “You know…you could adopt me!” Oh if only I could, guys. If only I had all the time and resources in the world to give EVERY one of these kids a safe and loving home, I would in a heartbeat!