Crashes, Chaos, and Finding Grace

It's Friday. Which means we've successfully completed our week and now we excitedly prepare for the weekend. And it also means that we are pretty tired, somewhat cranky, and we are irritable with each other because well, it's been a long five days. The morning was pretty stressful but I wanted to make it fun. I attempted to make a model solar system with my son, but most of our Play-Doh was dried out and he was frustrated. He wanted the exact colors that the planets actually are, but it's been like ten years since they've played with Play-Doh, so we were out of luck. My daughter threw lots of tantrums because she wanted to do things her way, and her way only. Like when she asked me to draw a sun, but I didn't draw it the way she wanted, so she huffed and puffed and yelled at me. I've been having to take lots of deep breaths while talking to her because my tendency is NOT to be a patient and quiet mom; it's quite the opposite--I can get loud and mean REAL quick.

It's not something I'm proud of, but this space is for truth, not fluff. And today you're getting truth.

I was doing pretty good in the daughter department and my son mentioned that the sun was shining. YES, it was! And the temps were already in the fifties. So the kids wanted to take their bikes to the park AND go to the playground... which is so fricken hard for me by myself. Because I have a guilt complex if we don't take our giant dogs, we always DO take our giant dogs. So it's me with two giant dogs, two tiny children, two hard-to-hold bikes with training wheels, and a busy street that needs to be crossed. Safely.

But I put a smile on my face and said, "Okay, let's do it." We all headed out the back door, locked doors and fences behind us, and got to the end of the sidewalk to cross. And then our indoor/outdoor grey cat Manny decided that he too wanted to follow us across said busy street. No way, Jose. He's not dying on my watch, and he never crosses the street [except the handful of times he HAS followed us to the park] and today I wasn't allowing it. So I spun back around, tripped over the dogs while turning, and yelled for the kids to stay put. I picked Manny up and tossed him in the back yard, hurried back to the sidewalk, and set out for attempt #2 of crossing the busy street.

Once there, I took a deep breathe and put my shoulders back. The sun felt so good on my face and the kids were laughing and talking. "Stay together!" I shouted. They're usually good about this, and they're usually good about turning around to check where I'm at. What mom wants her 3 or 4-year old to get halfway around the park without her? Not me. But today, for whatever reason, my son decided to forget all of our park rules and he took off, leaving his sister and I in the dust. He wasn't just going fast, it's like his legs got fifty times stronger over night and he was actually FLYING down the sidewalk, without us.

I yelled his name, a normal yell at first. And then I screamed his name. "PIERSON CLIVE!!!!!! STOP! PIERSON!" Reese stopped, and was super concerned because her brother wasn't listening or slowing down even the slightest bit. Of course I started sprinting with the dogs, and my daughter who straight up abandoned her bike in the middle of the sidewalk, and I seriously felt like I was NOT going to catch up with my son. And then he wiped out. He had turned slightly, and I watched as in slow motion he crashed to the left side of the bike. His shoe had came off and was stuck in the pedal, giant tears were streaming down his face and his sobs were echoing through the park. I was so angry, SO livid, that I had just screamed bloody murder for him to stop and wait, and he hadn't. But he also just wiped out, so how could I scold him? felt my blood boiling, my heart pounding through my chest, and tears welling in my own eyes.

How did this happen? How did we get here? This was going to be a GOOD morning, a happy trip to the park, and we were going to enjoy the sunshine together.

It was a long forty minute park trip, y'all. I told Pierson to sit on a giant rock and wait for the dogs, me, and Reese to go BACK and get her deserted bike, and I heard his loud cries as I ran. Reese was repeating how bad it was that Pierson didn't listen and how he was "bad, bad, bad, Mom, he was just BAD, he did not LISTEN." I tried to patiently explain to her as we ran that he wasn't bad, that he must have just forgotten and yes, she and he do need to stay WITH Mama wherever we are. When I got back to my boy, I squatted down to his level. Previously I had been very stern as I gripped his shoulders and told him that I was very unhappy with him and this situation. This time, I told him how frustrating it was that he did not listen, and how unsafe it was to just take off without a parent. "I was worried, Pierson, and then I got angry. Mama is still not happy, Buddy, but your sister wants to play at the playground. So can you please slow down and listen, and we can all try to have fun? And can you also forgive me for getting so mad?" He quietly said, 'Yes, Mom,' and I brushed the bits of rock off his hands. Together the two of them got on their bikes, rode right beside me, and the dogs happily trotted along.

So today I'm just reflecting, and I'm letting it all sink in that yes, it's been a very long week. And yes, I am in need of a LOT of grace. 

 Tuesday I took Reese to Broadway's Little Mermaid and that was also fricken hard. A 3-year old being quiet and still for that long of a show is well, kind of silly. We did make it through the whole show [by the grace of God] but even there, I had a short fuse, was super anxious, and didn't know how I'd make it back home in one piece. When I got home, (at 10:30 at night, only three hours past bedtime), Pierson hadn't wanted to go to bed without me. And all I had wanted was some quiet with my husband, pajamas, and the couch.

Last night I had a hair appointment and was so excited to get my hair done. Until she told me that I did indeed have grey hair [10% by her calculation] because I've been joking about it the past year. I don't know about you, but I guess I'm too vain for this to NOT be a big deal for me. I'm 29 next month, so what the CRAP? And when I got home, my son had wiped out playing with a toy and nailed his head on the bricks over our old fireplace. He was lying on my husband's lap, blood being maintained under pressure, and I had a flashback to when our daughter needed a trip to the ER and stitches.

See? Long week.

This is for all you moms and parents who may have also had a long week. For those of you who doubt your abilities, your strength, your calling. Staying home has been a blessing, and it's also been a huge challenge. And I learned a few things today:

-Don't take the dogs when your hands are so full. They will BE okay.
-Or, maybe tell the kids that we can walk, and we'll do bikes when Daddy gets home.
-Refresh the kids on mom's park rules and expectations before going, because clearly, sometimes they forget.
-And when the moment is over, hug your babies, wipe their faces, and tell them how much you absolutely love them. Because they also need to hear that reminder too.

Thank God that when we got home, we were able to make our lunches, tickle each other, and laugh hysterically with each other. I opened the windows, turned off the heat, and lit some candles. And now I think I'll go brew some coffee and spend some time with Jesus, because I need to hear His reminders and expectations TOO.

Happy Friday, Friends. You are good, you are worthy, and you are loved. Even and especially when you forget.

Off Screens and Into Nature, Let's HIKE!

A little over a year ago my husband introduced me to this sweet little hiking spot only a few miles from our house. It's a nature preserve that connects to a very large park, and there are several trails and lots of creeks and rickety pallet bridges. Watching our kids leap with joy as soon as they leave the car; to run to the entrance and look at the trails beyond, well, it's really done wonders for my soul.

I think it's even safe to say that this is one of my new happy places.

Give me a horse, open fields, and nothing but barns in sight and I am definitely a happy girl, but since those moments + opportunities are few and far between--hiking is such a sweet spot. And not just for me, but for all of us.

Today the forecast predicted sixty degrees and as soon as I woke, I ran to the windows and started pushing them open. We vacuumed and mopped and I de-cluttered the entryway. "You DO know it IS still February," my husband joked. YES! But as soon as spring starts to even FLIRT with this state, I am one and done with preparations. Our kids [and I] have been antsy and ornery and stir-crazy for days. It always happens this time of year, because our hearts and souls crave for more. We yearn to be pulled away from the mundane, and I really believe it's because we need something: we long to hear the snaps and cracks of twigs breaking under feet, to listen to leaves crunching beneath our tennis shoes, and to watch silently as we pray that a deer or two will cross our paths.

There is something majestic about being in the woods. And kids NEED it. I've taught so many students who don't get this opportunity--who aren't familiar with the concept of an hour or two away in nature. And this really isn't their fault; many are wards of the state, living in one residential facility to the next, so whenever I am in the classroom I work hard to get them outside--to look at the different twigs and branches, leaves and grass. To FEEL the soil between their fingers, because y'all, nature is healing.

Today was a day that our soul needed that and I'm encouraging YOU to do the same. As soon as your temperatures allow for tennis shoes + hoodies, go! Take some snacks + drinks and play I Spy while you run alongside your littles, because I PROMISE, they will thank you. Our kids are different people when they're just surrounded by nature; their laughter is different, their attitude towards each other is different, and they have an innate way about them to just be present where we are. I am so tired of iPads and iPhones and TV's. My heart craves warm breezes + deer walking feet ahead of me; and by golly, today God gave me both.

An enlightening realization while we were walking: I don't like winter. I know, WHAT?! I am from Michigan, I do love snow, when it actually snows, but really and truly?! I would be good with sixty and seventy degree weather year round I think. "Why do you keep trying to move us to Michigan then?!!" my husband said. "Well, that's DIFFERENT," I defended. Ha ha, but seriously. I love color, and full trees, and warm sunlight, and kids who can be outdoors without needing thirty layers and lasting only five minutes IN them.

What a blessing that today allowed all of us to loosen up our hearts and just be outside. The benefits to hiking and just being outdoors are endless too, guys. Better sleep at night, exercise in ALL aspects: physically, mentally, emotionally. The fact that it's a total mood booster, feeling less stressed. I could go on. And children can learn SO much. We talked about the mushrooms that we saw, the different types of trees and branches, how the deer varied in their colors. Sigh. Can we go back tomorrow?!

Also, Reese with her Goldfish kills me. Ha ha!! I swear this girl thinks as soon as she GETS to the trails, she just needs to eat AND run. Hhhmmm, Reesie girl, there's a reason you tripped more than once this afternoon! ;)

Anyway, y'all--if you get the chance, please, please, find a park, find some trails, and go explore with your kiddos. Even if it's for ten or fifteen minutes, it's an opportunity to reset, re-charge, and completely boost your spirits.

And I'd love to hear from you! Have you taken your kids hiking or exploring? Where do you like to go? What are some tips and tricks you've learned? We are going to the mountains of North Carolina this spring [our first time sleeping in a TENT with all of us, Lord help me!!!!!] and then are heading to Myrtle Beach for a beach trip. Mountains + Ocean--something I've longed for the kids to see since they were born! And now we are actually GOING! SO: because I'm really only used to like, HOUR long hikes? Send me all your must do's and must pack items, PLEASE!

Kiddos are wearing their trusty Tsukihoshi tennis shoes--I could not swear by this brand and these shoes more. They are durable, trustworthy, and COMFORTABLE!!

2017 Reader Survey + A Chance to Win a Free Print!

Hey, y'all and happy MONDAY! We are closing in on the end of this month, and I'm sitting here wondering how it's already almost February!? 

First, I wanted to really just thank you for your support this past year. In 2016 I remember my exact thoughts when launching this blog were to see first, would I enjoy it? And secondly, would it bring inspiration to women; which was my biggest hope. Here we are, it's 2017, and I am most definitely enjoying writing and documenting life in this space. AND, I have had so many of you e-mail me, comment, share on Facebook and social media platforms, which tells me YES, some of you are getting encouragement + inspiration through many of these posts. My intention and prayer is that I will continue to be able to do this, and that God will continue to lead my path in this writing journey. 

Since this is my goal, I thought it would be a great time to pick your brain, and see honestly, how YOU think I'm doing. At the heart of this survey, I really want to know how you've been touched by the words and posts here, and what are some ways this blog can improve? I seriously thank you for every comment you've written, the personal e-mails, the sweet things you have said on Instagram and Facebook. As every writer experiences, there are some insecurities that exist while running this; I'm literally sharing my very personal words among the vastly wide space of the Internet and guys, this can be scary! YOUR encouragement and words of affirmation are what keep me going. 

This space has been a great outlet for me. I absolutely love writing about motherhood, marriage, and really our daily life, struggles, and blessings we've been given. You are a huge chunk of my inspiration; your thoughts, ideas, some of your vulnerability with sharing YOUR personal stories, and really, I wouldn't be where I am without you!

So with all of this being said, here is the: 

2017 Ashley Glass Reader Survey

I will be collecting your surveys today through Sunday. As a huge thank you for your time, I am teaming up with my friend Chelcey Tate, and we are offering you a FREE 8x10 print from our Beloved collection. Fill out the survey, and you'll automatically be put into a drawing to win this lovely print. 

Print reads: I aspire to be an empowered woman with vision and grace. Soft-hearted but strong, self aware + sure, respected for my mind, admired for my heart, and above all, always honest, open, and raw.

 

 

The Dishes Can Wait: Let's Talk

What is ONE thing you need to hear from someone today? I mean seriously. Stop what you're doing for a second (well, keep reading...) and just think. How would you feel if someone checked in with you like this:

I'm proud of you. 
How are you doing today? 
You are so beautiful. 
Thanks for being so great. 
Do you need a hug? 
Hey, do you want to go see a movie? 
Let's grab dinner. 
You are so incredibly strong. 
I just love you!

As I've gotten older, I can't believe what a 'words of affirmation' gal I've turned into. Yesterday I scaled a rock climbing wall.. When I entered that gymnasium and looked all the way to the top, I didn't think for a SECOND it would be me ringing the bell at the very TOP. But when I heard my husband cheering from below, I heard him say, "Reese is going to be SO proud of you, Ash! Ring the bell!" I looked to my right and saw the next rock. I took a slow and deep breath, and I reached so high for that glorious bell. DING, DING, DING!!!! High fives and hugs greeted me at the bottom, my friend Liz (aka BEST workout buddy) beamed with excitement. I mean encouragement, y'all--isn't it great?! 

I think most days we just move through our routines. We go to school or work, put our kids on the bus or send them off to the sitter; some of us are homeschooling our preschoolers--making breakfasts and lunches and ordering toys and rooms to be cleaned up, and naps to be had. Our husbands come home and we are tired; hair untouched, teeth lucky to be brushed. The pets have been cared for, house is put together, kids are still alive, but it's now what we moms like to call witching hour; and we are TIRED. We check Instagram and scroll, scroll, scroll. Maybe we throw in a double tap for a 'like' if it's a photo that spoke to us. We check Facebook; scroll, scroll, scroll. Sometimes we comment when something is funny or there's a cute photo we like. We'll like each other's statuses all day long, but often we forget to text our husbands, "Hey Babe, I am proud of you. Thanks for loving me." We forget to call or message our family and ask, "How are you doing? Is there anything you need this week?" To check in with our friends, "Is there a time that would work in the next couple of weeks to get together? Let's get dinner and catch up. In the mean time, how can I pray for you?" 

We are busy creatures, somewhat stir crazy in our souls. The days can be hectic and the nights long. We have babies and young children who don't yet know the importance of a GOOD nights sleep, and the thoughts that rattle through our minds when our feet need to hit the floor to start all over; well, they aren't always the most pleasant. I wrote a post a while back about finding God in the crazy--to seek Him first and to pray more often. To speak to HIM, more often. I think I've improved greatly with this, but Lordy how there's room to grow. And thinking outside of that, of the prayers that need to be had, the more scripture that YES, I do need to read...is ensuring that we as a community are caring for one another. 

Who haven't you reached out to in a while? What face pops into your mind as your read this and you think, 'hey...I wonder how ______ is doing.' Don't just wonder, find out. I swear I probably have 10-15 women pop into my head all day long. Heck, as I sit here writing it's like boom, boom, boom!!! Name after name, just flying through my tired mind! My pregnant hair dresser, Michelle, seriously, so many prayers are said for you. Same for my preggo girlfriend Britney! My sister in laws, my brother, my DAD, women from our old church... I mean really, the list could go on! I don't think we are all destined to be best friends with one another and I don't think that's ever the expectation within friendships. But I think we could do better at staying in touch with the women and friends that we love. Stephanie who came to dinner, I loved you! I'm SO glad that you're 28 and we have that in common and that you love dogs and animals as much as I do. Chelcey who does my web design and helps me form emails and newsletters and is my soundboard for life in GENERAL. Peg, my childhood best friend who I dream about living closer to, with your two boys and husband; laughing with you is quite possibly the best thing EVER. Lisa who lives in Boston, who spent a season living in Kentucky WITH me. Jerrica, who is quite possibly my earthly angel, you're my everything!! 

No, I won't list every single person that I love here in this space, because there's just too many of you and my mind is too fuzzy for that anyway. But I wanted to just throw this out there, that you, whoever you are and wherever you may be, I bet it really means a lot when you hear someone tell you that they are proud of you. It feels GOOD to feel strong and beautiful, radiant and loved. 

Can I encourage you today to think about the top three people that keep popping into your head? Outside perhaps from the regular people you talk to on a consistent basis (aka my husband and my mom hear from me 300 times a day...) Who are those people?  Ask them how they are. What about them makes you proud? What do they do well that they would love to hear from YOU? And then keep going about your day! The clothes to be washed, dishes to cleaned, tables to be wiped off, prayers to be said, books to be read, kids to be tucked in...it's all still waiting for you. I even bet that somewhere along the way, you'll feel more energized and recharged to DO those things, BECAUSE you took the time to brighten someone else's day. Those dishes can wait, for all of 2.1 seconds, am I right? Let's love the heck out of each other because frankly, we're worth it.