Motherhood and Sick Days

Most days I don’t think about my role, being Mom just seems normal. But there are a couple instances when I have felt like my heart is walking outside of my body and one of the times was when I went on vacation for the first time without my kids, and Asa and I were simply ALONE. Just the two of us. Without our kids. The first day I remember being somewhat giddy and excited and READY for several days with JUST my husband. And then I woke the next morning and my heart had disappeared. GONE. I was anxious and confused and overwhelmed and wondering constantly IF my kids were okay. Would the sitters remember to do this or that or what to sing them or how to comfort them? My heart was outside of my chest as I walked around the city and the beach, and as people passed us by—”They don’t know that I’m a Mom,” I thought.

To some of you, that may sound crazy ;) But to many of you, you’re like, “I get it.”

Once you’re Mom, you’re MOM. And while often you may not think about it because you’re doing the day in and day out and the chores and routine…but do you KNOW how important this role IS?

Enter how I have recently began to feel on sick days. Not my sick days, where I’m feeling like crap and missing MY mom—but the days where fevers are burning my sweet kiddos bodies, their heads are throbbing with headaches, their legs are weak with fatigue, they’re cranky and emotional and exhausted. These days. My heart starts walking outside of my chest and it grasps at their six and seven year old selves. My role as MOM explodes with such uniqueness. I think it was when our kids turned four and five and the baby and toddler days just felt so far behind me; that was when it hit me like a ton of bricks that these days are FLEETING. When they’re sick, who do they want?

Mom.

Dads and husbands, please don’t take offense at this post. Lord knows my kids ADORE their Dad and he is quite literally the BEST Dad there is. Our kids will sit on his lap and rock with him and cuddle, but then it’s time for Mom. The phrase used to be, “Mommy put me down,” when they couldn’t construct great sentences. Now they can actually say, “I love you, Dad. I want Mommy…”

There’s something about being needed isn’t there? Maybe that’s mostly what it is... Having tiny souls want you and need you and love you with all of their being. I kind of laughed as I wrote this out, it sounds so SELFISH. But this blog is really for me to remember how I feel. When our kids are sick, the Mom gene inside of me goes full fledge into overdrive and I’m there for it all. When they wake crying because their fever spikes, my feet fly up the stairs. I hum and sing and stroke their foreheads. I bring fresh cups of ice water and fill their diffusers with all the right blends to make their rooms cozy and clean. There’s something about being MOM on their sick days, that is so fulfilling; that is so valuable. They won’t always need me the way that their little selves do. And I finally understand how my own mom must feel with her daughter living six hours away. Probably like a piece or two of HER heart is outside of her chest… (I wonder if she knows how I FEEL when I am sick?!) When a fever hits me, guess who is the first for me to text and complain to? Yup…my mom!

Also don’t get me wrong—I don’t LIKE when our kids are sick. Heavens, no. I know that there are sicknesses FAR WORSE and more severe than the colds and viruses ours come down with; all I really mean, is that sometimes it is mundane to be Mom, when really there is nothing mundane about it. When they were newborns and then toddlers and were needing me on sick days, it was so different than it is now. It consisted of a lot more HOLDING and rocking and nursing and cuddling. They keep getting older; their legs keep getting longer and more difficult to fit on my lap…they keep becoming more independent.

But they keep needing me. And I pray to God that I NEVER take that for granted.

These thoughts inspired me to create a FREEBIE for YOU. Sign up below to grab my new download, ‘Wellness Support for You & Your Littles.’ Save it, print it, share it, use it. And if you have any questions, always email me! I love hearing from my readers and I am so thankful for ALL of you.

I'll Keep Climbing Anyway

The last few years I haven’t made resolutions as much as I have prayed about a WORD for the year. This year as I was browsing Pinterest, I came to a quote that had CLIMB at the top of it, and this as the text:

“You are exactly where you are meant to be right now. Do not compare your journey to anyone else’s; yours is a WILDLY different journey up an entirely different mountain. If you were meant to be higher up your mountain, you would be. There might be more you need to learn from this spot before you can keep climbing. There might be something you need to see HERE before you continue forward. Maybe you are simply meant to REST before the journey ahead. Regardless of where you are on your path, know that the rest of your story will unfold when it is time. Until then, enjoy your beautifully unique CLIMB.

-Walk the Earth

This quote spoke to me on such a real level. So much so, that I shared with my high school students and several asked me for a print out of it; I think the words are so raw and relatable to SO many. As a full time teacher and small business(es) owner, I tend to easily become fairly (very) overwhelmed and stressed. As an entrepreneur I am always striving for ways to bring in extra income, and for my side jobs to be successful. As the New Year approached, I thought about having ‘grow’ or ‘succeed’ be my words for the upcoming year…and then I realized that felt like WAY too much pressure. My husband thought that I really needed to pray on the notion of ‘rest…’ I am pretty constantly go, go, going in my mind and with my work. And while I do agree with that, I DO need to rest more and be able to shut off my work mode; I think that can apply to the above quote. “Maybe you are simply meant to rest before the journey ahead…” Instead of comparing my journey to others’ this year I am really going to strive to simply embrace the climb, and that goes for ALL areas of my life.

Speaking of the Climb and Life Lately…

You know we basically have a zoo: two dogs, three cats, two horses, and two kids…(do kids count?) Therefore, there will literally ALWAYS be something going on, good and bad. In the past few months, our Golden Retriever started having some urine issues. She is a dog who never had more than two accidents in all of her life, so it was pretty concerning…More than a handful of UTI laters, we decided to have her blood work checked, and God bless our veterinarian, (shout out to Dr. Matt Thompson) for sitting down with me (and calling my husband) to explain his thoughts and what the numbers showed. Ultimately we all concluded that an ultrasound was the safest route to go so that we could see the big picture. I knew before going into the appointment, we would SEE something. I just knew in my heart, maybe because I’m often a ‘worst case scenario’ girl, that there would be. As Elsa lay on her back, acting like an angel per usual, I prayed I would be able to handle the outcome. They looked at her spleen, bladder, kidneys, and then they got to the liver—I heard the word ‘mass’ and tears instantly quietly started to stream. I stroked Elsa’s face and told her over and over what a good and wonderful girl she is. When it was all said and done, Dr. Thompson and I went to the office and talked. He knows me so well that he came up with a plan, and I was fully confident in everything that he said. Our Chocolate Lab Humphrey was diagnosed last Valentine’s Day and I sobbed on the floor of the vet clinic. This year I sat silently, petting Elsa’s head, feeling as though for whatever reason, I needed to be strong for her. The tears will come. Lord help me, I know that they will come.

SO…
In a few weeks, we will do another ultrasound of Elsa’s liver. It could be benign (you know I doubt that…) or it will have grown, and possibly even spread. I am praying that I can handle all of this in stride. “There might be more you need to learn from this spot before you can keep climbing…” I’m not sure what I’m supposed to learn in this season, but I will continue to pray about it and trust that though the tears may be plentiful, the joy will also abound. Elsa isn’t gone yet. I will love her every single second of every single day; I plan on kissing her goodnight every night, and thanking her for being strong.

What does ‘climb’ mean to you? What journey are you currently embarking on? Are you in a season of rest and quiet right now…? Not really sure where 2020 will take you? Have you heard of Christian author Lara Casey? She wrote a new book titled Cultivate and I absolutely love what she wrote here:

…as I’ve observed my garden over the years, I have noticed something. In the seasons, we find balance. The seasons allow my garden to rest and grow at just the right time, and it’s the same with our lives. The seasons teach us how to do life well, revealing a life-giving rhythm; we flourish through intentional periods of STILLNESS, growth, hard work, AND REST. We need this rhythm in our days, in our weeks, and in our everything.”

Climbing can look different to all of us. But to me, it means trusting where my feet go. If some days my feet are absolutely still and firmly going nowhere, I can lift my arms and ask Him to carry me. I don’t need to skip steps because there truly is a process; God designed my climb with extreme wisdom and absolute care. Even though many days will undoubtedly be tough, I know that I NEED to trust His process.

Happy One Year to You, Emma Rose!

From the beginning, we thought Emma would be our Healer. Little did we know how true that would end up being…do you remember when we first got her!? She was seven weeks old and I wrote a post when she was nine weeks, about how wonderful and sweet she was. Well, good news, she STILL is, and never had we have SUCH a cuddly and docile dog. Truthfully I can’t remember a TON about Elsa when she was one year old, but I remember she didn’t crave human touch and cuddling AS much as our little Emma does. It has been so fun to see and watch Emma grow, from a teeny tiny puppy to a gorgeous one year old DOG.

Emma is an English Creme Golden Retriever who we purchased from Cold Spring Mountain Retrievers located in Chuckey, TN. We made it a fun overnight trip with our kids and we came back home with our sweet little girl pup. She has been such a good dog since day but, however we often joke that she is part Humphrey [our chocolate Lab who passed away last spring, whom she adored] and part Elsa [our Golden.] Humphrey loved mischief and he could be pretty sneaky at times…Emma has surprised us a few times with her own curiosity, but she overall, she has been such a trustworthy girl. She does not climb on the furniture, she does not destroy household things [though she did nibble once on our wooden coffee table when she was teething], but frankly, we have been amazed at simply how GOOD she is.

I still swear it’s largely the breed…she and Elsa are the reason that I will ALWAYS want a Golden Retriever. They don’t lick, they don’t jump, they are patient and empathetic, gentle and incredibly loving. When it is muddy outside, Emma knows to sit on a towel right by the door and wait for her paws to be cleaned. When it’s bath time and she is too filthy to just towel down, she knows to go into our shower and she sits and waits to be cleaned up?! Like, HOW?! It makes me giggle thinking about her adorable traits, and ever so grateful that we chose HER.

Flip through the slideshow below to see some of my absolute favorites (though there are so many more, haha. You know me and my picture taking……) xox

She’s a girl with lots of nicknames, one is often Emma Lou. Growing up my childhood dog and best Christmas present EVER, was a white lab who I named Holly Lou. I’m not positive why it was Lou…? But she too, was an ANGEL of a dog. She took to my oldest brother Nathan the most, he has special needs and I think she always just knew. Naturally Emma Lou just flows from my mouth, but she’s lots of names. Emma Rose, Emma Rosie, Emma Lou, Emmie Girl—but the moral of the story is that she has healed in our hearts in so many ways and we are so in love with her fluffy, white, adorable self! Happy first birthday, Emma Rose!

Never too Late for Christmas Cookies

Remember when I said the days were going quickly..? We blinked and Christmas came and went. That’ll be its’ own blog post, I am just always so shocked how fast it all goes, even when I always know it will. Since our kids were tiny we have made sugar cookies and decorated them for Santa, and this year, two of our dearest friends joined us!

Kennedy Lynn is two years old now, and I am still in denial that she is no longer a newborn. We still remember well Tim and Clayton going to the hospital when she was born, bringing her home, and then adopting her! Her birthday is only a couple days apart from Reese’s, and Reese has been her claimed BFF from the very beginning. Kennedy says her name with such pride and joy, and we just love having her around to be in these memories with us!

I recently saw a post on Pinterest [author unknown] that says this:

“You will never have this day with your children again. Tomorrow, they will be a little older than they were today. This day is a gift. Just breathe, notice, study their faces and little feet. Pay attention. Relish the charms of the present. Enjoy today. It will be over before you know it.”

I know if you’re in the thick of things in those newborn days, it may seem surreal that they will be any bigger. In any stage there are moments of frustration, of anger, of sadness, of doubts, of ALL the feelings—you’re wondering if you are doing a good job. If they will remember your hard work. If they will remember the good, especially when there have undoubtedly been moments of bad. Here are my snapshots of some of our good. Decorating cookies with small children isn’t a guarantee of sunshine and roses, of complete laughter and giddiness; often there are messes and spills, tears over mistakes, and for a mama who really loves QUIET—it is generally a very HAPPILY loud memory.

Does your family do any baking together in the holiday season? What are some of your traditions? I would love to hear in the comments below, or always feel free to hit REPLY to these posts! Happy Holidays, Sweet Readers and Friends.