Why a Beautiful Home Isn't Nonsense

As I've gotten older I have realized that my need for 'stuff' has diminished quite a bit. At one point I wanted brand new wardrobes for each season, and then I quickly discovered that my clothes color pallet exists in this order: greys, earth tones, and more grey. The comfier the outfit the better; give me all the joggers, giant wool cardigans, and an abundance of fuzzy socks and I am GOLDEN. My husband jokes with me that before we were married I would say, "Beauty is pain," (WHO made up that quote?!) and now I fully admit that I actually believe beauty is COMFORT. 

I once had a friend though, that made me feel so terrible about the fact that I wanted to have things. That and drying or straightening my hair/wearing makeup, she called me 'high maintenance.' The literal definition of that adjective is 'needing a lot of work to keep in good condition.' Demanding, challenging, difficult, hard to please--all synonyms of high maintenance. I remember asking Asa, "Am I high maintenance because I want to do my hair before photos?" and he'd say, "No, there is nothing wrong with wanting that." I would talk to her about my desire to have a big beautiful house, two stories, and in it, beautiful things. She would remind me that she didn't 'need' anything; if it were up to her, she'd live in a tiny house and have the bare minimum within it. There was nothing wrong with her desires. But there was largely something wrong with the way I felt most times after hanging out with her.

Over the years and having lots of space between us, I have grown up quite a bit (thank you, Jesus). There isn't anything wrong with me wanting to do my hair, or putting on makeup. It doesn't make me less of a free woman that I often do those two things. My husband and I started our lives in a dirty, one bedroom, dark apartment. Our second wasn't much of an upgrade, but definitely brighter and better than the first. Our first home was beautiful; a restored 1900 bungalow with character that spoke to every person who walked in the front entry. While we searched for the newest home that we are currently it, we both agreed that it needed to LOOK nice. We thought we wanted a fixer-upper, but we didn't. We wanted open, bright, with lots of natural light, and it had to be two stories [my request.] We yearned for a place to host, to gather our people--friends and family that would eat around our table and laugh by the fireplace. 

I recently started Jen Hatmaker's newest book 'Of Mess and Moxie,' and friends, within it she spoke my heart. I often wondered how to put into words what I felt about owning beautiful things or having a gorgeous house, and by golly, she wrote them. 

"Dear one, may I say something? It is not shallow or empty or frivolous to create a beautiful space to live in. It's not silly, not vainglorious, not a waste of time and energy. It doesn't make you superficial nor slides you down the godly scale. We spend the majority of our hours in our homes with our people. Creating beauty and nurture under your roof with colors that soothe, art that inspires, furniture that invites, and textures that thrill is a wonderful use of your small space on the planet" (67). 

If where you want to live is in a high rise in the city, by all means, live that dream. And if your heart longs and loves large and open spaces, sister, you do YOU. We shouldn't make each other feel bad when the desire in our hearts is joy and happiness. We shouldn't label our friends by what they wear or don't wear, eat or don't eat. Jen also says this, which duh, I love: 

"Home is the scene of so much love and happiness, community and pot roasts. It is where you invite people in and say, 'You are so welcome in this place.' It is the reel our children will replay in memory of the leather chair you read in, the farmhouse table you shared, the braided rug where you played eleventy-billion games of Chutes and Ladders. It is your little corner of the earth, entirely. YOURS to make lovely. In a world increasingly dominated by fear and violence and isolation and loneliness, you can claim restoration under your roof, where people are nurtured and loved and fed and embraced, where God reigns and hope is spoken..." (70)

I love that Jesus has intertwined mine and Asa's hearts in that we both love people and more than that, we love gathering with them. I don't like to cook, but he does! And I find joy in cleaning, dusting, and rearranging things like candles and flowers. We love having a beautiful home that has TONS of light, inviting furniture [seriously, thank you Havertys], and there's no shame in the fact that I think white walls are calming. More significantly than the beauty that exists here, Jen was so right when she talks about nourishing and caring for our little ones here. My number one job is to love and serve my husband but ALSO to train up my children to follow and serve the Lord. "Making your home pretty is nice," she writes, "but making it nourishing is holy" (70).

I don't want you to think for a minute though, that the home we chose is perfect or that it has to BE perfect to be beautiful. I actually often talk in the future tense, "In our next home I want to do this differently or add this or change this," because I don't believe this is our forever home. I still long for acreage and horses surrounding the greenery around me, but my heart is happy here, for now. I actually have a gorgeous blue velvet couch that I only once dreamt about. I have a matching console and cocktail table. I have an eight-foot farmhouse table where a TON of people gathered for Thanksgiving. And I LOVE that Jen Hatmaker mentioned how God created the wildflowers and waterfalls and pine trees and hummingbirds and warm sand and mountain ranges and tulips; because He very clearly doesn't think that beauty is nonsense (67). "If God decided to make his whole earth pretty, we can choose to make our little homes pretty without tension, guilt, or shame." For us, we choose beauty to bring people to gather. Our home isn't huge, but it's open and our table is large. 

May we never forget our dream of hosting and creating, regardless of where we end up next. (Please be on land, please be on land, please be on land!) And may YOU believe that where you are and what you dream about is beautiful too. 

*Please don't allow anyone else's negative comments or shaming hurt you. You were created with visions and dreams, passions and talents. It's an ongoing battle that I continue to go forward with comments that have hurt me, but time has been a healing agent and I just want you to know that YOU are wonderful!!!*

When Life Gets Messy, I Choose You

Several people have messaged me here on this platform and asked, "Do you and your husband ever fight? Your relationship looks so perfect and like such a dream." Well, I have some feedback on that and I think it's important to share. First, the answer is of COURSE we fight.

Our first year of marriage I got so angry that I flew out the front door of our apartment and drove to nowhere else than his sister's house; who in turn texted him and told him I was there. I don't think I was trying to hide? And I have NO idea what I was even upset about, but we have since made the agreement that neither of would ever get in our cars and leave during a fight. I can remember slamming a door in our second apartment and my husband then hopping up off the couch said yelling, "I CAN SLAM A DOOR TOO!" and of course the entire house shook when he did. I've called my mother sobbing, even when we also made the agreement that we wouldn't involve other people in our disagreements, unless we really had to. And we've had some really big ones, ones that I don't care to share about in this space or in this nature; because they've hurt, and they've left some wounds and open scars. But as you can see, yes, we fight. We recently had one of the biggest that our nine years have ever seen, but we both went to bed that night knowing that the other would be there in the morning. I think that a lot of people are private about their relationships, and of course, I largely am as well. I want to protect my husband and our kids and while a writer, I know there are boundaries. But I also think that honesty is important. Sometimes we get caught up behind the squares we see on Instagram and we are held hostage to the lies that there exists perfection.

Getting married at twenty-years old meant that I had a lot more growing up to do from the moment that I said, "I do." At the beginning of our marriage during our fights, I can remember thinking, "How will we ever move forward from this?" But we always did. Each day passed and with them, fresh years. I have realized that we will ALWAYS move forward. Promises have been broken, and there have been moments of anger, frustration, and perhaps, even resentment. Which is why I am so thankful for a Savior; for the Creator who from His hands, made both my husband and I. And I don't believe for a second that He makes mistakes. When He brought us together, He knew that I could be hot tempered and Asa could be head strong. I can kill with words and he can get loud. And when those things happen, we can take a breath, look at each other, and remind each other that we DO love one another. You've probably at some point said it yourself, "I don't like you, but I do love you." There are times when I feel as though I really don't LIKE my husband. And he doesn't like me. But we will always love each other. 

Recently he and I were circling back and trying to find some closure and here was his response: 

"After I dropped Reese off at school, I had a long drive to think and pray. As I prayed and worked through the emotions of the fight we were having, it became really clear that I wasn't going to leave, I wasn't going anywhere. The only option was to fix it. To do the work to make things right. To own what I needed to own, to learn from our fight and to figure out how to restore our marriage to love. Leaving wasn't an option, so there was only one real direction to go. For me, healing always starts with the decision of which way we are going. And I'm choosing to always come back to you."

My husband can be a real tear-jerker with his words and ultimately, with how he loves me. Honestly, our recent fight had me in that, "WHAT am I going to do?!" type mindset. The one where you feel lost and confused and all you see ahead is gray. I thank God that Asa brought my eyes back to the colors of our beautiful life, and that he reminded me that I too, will only ever walk forward.

I choose you, Asa, and I thank you for choosing me; even and especially when things get messy. I do a great job of capturing the beauty that is in our household, but please remember that those are because I largely want to remember the good, not because the bad doesn't exist. When I need to decide what direction to go, where to love, I choose the good. I choose you.

Christmas with Havertys: Holiday Inspiration for Your Living Room

Ashley Glass Photography | Motherhood Photography | Reece and Pierson

"I'll be home for Christmas, you can plan on meeeeee. Please have snow and mistletoe, and presents on the treeeeeee."

I'm writing this before Thanksgiving, so either you're completely on board and singing the rest of that Christmas carol with me, OR you want to punch me. I'm just going to go ahead and assume that you're reading this though because you're a Christmas elf like me. 

I see all these Instagram ladies writing how they're the ones convincing their husbands to let them decorate for Christmas this early and I'm always like, "Huhhhh???!" My husband is LITERALLY Buddy the Elf, and can wrap presents in 2.5 seconds flat without tearing or wrinkling a single shred of the paper. "Six inch ribbon curls, honey!" is the phrase that comes to mind EVERY holiday season when we are sorting and wrapping for the kids. All of that to say, it's never been me who is like, "Hey! Let's put up our Christmas tree two weeks before Thanksgiving and get out ALL our decorations!" HOWEVER...I am so grateful that he wants to, and this year is even more epic than all the other eight Christmas' we've had prior. 

While I can thank my husband for being my motivation and holiday inspiration, I can ALSO thank Havertys Furniture. Y'all...I dreamt of their furniture for SO long, and specifically about someday owning a navy blue sofa, and as most of you now know, those dreams are my now reality! Every day I walk into this space and think, "This is OURS?! WE live here!?!" 

We scored our 9-ft. Christmas tree from Hobby Lobby and it was WAY on clearance. Someone recently asked in a photo if it's gold, and no, it's not; but depending on the lighting in the room and what time of day it is, it definitely gives off a golden vibe. We really strive for minimal yet classy when it comes to decoration and design, and I think the final outcome of this room demonstrates that well! We found poufs from Target [thanks, Chip and Joanna for your ridiculously cute new collection] and the kids are really enjoying sitting by the fireplace on them. We also use them to eat around the coffee table [wish we had discovered them before our charcuterie dinner with friends, but hey! It worked!] 

I'm not going to lie...as I walked around snapping these photos when I did, it became clear to me that we literally live in a ZOO. I mean SERIOUSLY...I'm sure you've noticed our one million pets in the photos by now?! Thank goodness the dogs KNOW better than to get on my beloved blue couch, but the cats?? Not so much...

Another thing that I love about the color scheme we chose for this room is that all of it is so easily versatile with things like throws and accent pillows. The JOY pillow is from Target, as is the giant Santa Claus in the Havertys arm chair. The light creams and rich navy blue is so easy to add pops of color and fun festive textures to. 

Maybe I should add here that my husband dug out ALL of these Christmas decorations, assembled the tree [using a ladder much of the time], and hung ALL of the gorgeous garland in our home?! I joke about him being Buddy the Elf but the truth is, I really wouldn't have the beautiful home that I do WITHOUT him. [Thanks, baby!! Seriously.] 

We could not be MORE thankful that we have this homey space to spend the majority of our time in. When we moved into this home at the end of July, I never would have fathomed THIS. The home was already beautiful, but being a brand new build and basically a blank slate, I had a difficult time envisioning character and charm, romance and elegance. Here we are, just barely four months later, and it is entirely thanks to Havertys Furniture and their H Designers for helping our dreams soar. 

This Christmas you can be sure to find us right here, all season long. Thank God for our wood burning fireplace [one of our biggest house goals], the comfy couch to snuggle up on, and for our children who create ALL of the sweet, sweet laughter. 

Happy Holidays, to you and yours! My husband wanted me to write "God bless us, EVERYONE!" so there that is. And hey, if you have YOUR Christmas tree up, will you email me a photo? You can email me here: ashleyglassphotography gmail dot com

PS: Here is a photo of the space at night; perhaps a bit grainy but I thought it still looked so beautiful! 

Gathering with the Glasses during Christmas time

Mom, What Are You Scared Of?

In our house, we rotate bedtimes. Honest to goodness since the time they were no longer breastfeeding, my husband and I have switched on and off. If he puts Reese down, I put Pierson down. Sometimes there's the nights where that can't happen; I'll be shooting a wedding or have photography sessions for instance and Asa will do them both--or we'll flip flop because one kiddo has requested the other parent. But 95% of the time I think it's pretty routine that we just switch. 

Recently it was my turn with Pierson. Tis' the season for all things Halloween, so he set out ALL the books that he had related to this holiday. We decided on Happy Halloween Little Critter, and before we began he rolled closer to me and asked, "Mom, what are YOU scared of?" 

I could have told him that I used to be deathly afraid of praying mantis, (ahem, still am) or how I still fear pretty much ALL living creatures besides dolphins in the ocean...but I kind of froze. I decided to just matter of factly say, "Well, Buddy--most adults aren't really scared of things such as the dark, or monsters, or spooky things like that; we're more afraid of other things. I guess what I'm scared of is being a bad mom." 

He straight up laughed, y'all!

"MOM!" he giggled. "You're not a BAD mom! That's just silly!" 

And in that moment, I believed him. Five years of his life have come and went. His babyhood is a blur. I remember finding out I was pregnant with him, being excited that we would have a summer baby. I remember his first birthday, and trick or treating indoors when he was two because it was pouring out; he knocked on all the doors with his cousins and screamed "trick or treat!" I remember being terrified that I would break him. Surely my lack of knowledge in the motherhood department would at some point just utterly FAIL, and he wouldn't turn out okay. 

Except that he did... and he has. And while his babyhood is a blur, his childhood is becoming a raw and vivid memory because that's the season we are in. I sit here and I wonder, in their short amount of time--their four and five years of living on this Earth, will they remember the wrongs? 

I doubt any child remembers their youth as being perfect (because parents are human, and WE, are human). But lately I've wondered, how will they remember me? Pierson is my sensitive soul. If I raise my voice even a smidge, he winces and closes his eyes. I didn't lay a finger ON him, yet somehow his heart is shattered and his feelings are in disarray all over the ground. And then there's his sister, who I for the life of me and honest to God, cannot figure out. She can be so head strong and so TOUGH, and most days it doesn't feel as if anything I say or do affects her whatsoever. Can you guess what that translates to for me...? 

Anger. 

A LOT of anger. I often feel that my life is a permanent profession of redirecting and saying phrases like, "Please stop. DON'T do that. You NEED to listen. You need to go to time out. Okay, I'm done. NO!" And then I remind myself--I am currently teaching kindergarten through fifth grades AND I have a four and a five year old at home. Oh, hello! 

But this really isn't about her--or him. It's about moms. And the fact that I think there are a LOT of you who are scared of being bad at your job. But the truth is, you aren't. I just bought Jen Hatmaker's newest book, "Of Mess and Moxie," and it arrived at THE perfect time. She said this, which I just loved: 

"Friends...I believe we can take a handful of things quite seriously as parents and take the rest less seriously, and it is all going to be okay. You are doing an amazing job. Your children know that they are loved and have felt it all these years deeply, intrinsically. If we get seven out of ten things mostly right as moms, we are winning the majority, and the majority wins the race." (Pg 17). 

It's actually taken me over a month to finish this post, because guess what, today we just set up our CHRISTMAS TREE. No, Thanksgiving hasn't even passed, but I'm a blogger and our family LOVES Christmas so yeah, we're way early. But the truth is, this fear of mine hasn't changed. I think it was ingrained in me before my son ever entered this world and I'm not certain that it will ever go away. But maybe it's okay to be a little scared. Maybe it's okay that we STRIVE for goodness--that we don't give up, that we keep going, that we keep praying, and disciplining, and hugging, and crying. 

Maybe it's okay that we want to be good moms. And maybe it's okay that sometimes we are scared.